
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/10837611.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/F, F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Undertale
  Relationship:
      Sans_(Undertale)/Reader, Sans_(Undertale)_&_Reader, Alphys_/_Undyne,
      Toriel_/_Asgore, Papyrus_/_Mettaton, Original_Character_/_Original
      Character
  Character:
      Sans_(Undertale), Papyrus_(Undertale), Alphys_(Undertale), Original
      Female_Character(s), Original_Male_Character(s), Undyne_(Undertale),
      Toriel_(Undertale), Frisk_(Undertale), Asgore_Dreemurr, Mettaton_
      (Undertale), Alex, Jess
  Additional Tags:
      Chat_Logs, Smut_in_chapter_69, yes_that_was_a_pun_indeed, i'm_so_stupid,
      why_am_i_like_this
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-05-06 Updated: 2017-06-11 Chapters: 55/82 Words: 55981
****** Chat Logs - Sans x Reader ******
by Esmee_(BasicallySenpai)
Summary
     Sans and Alex happen to meet on a chatbox. What becomes of them when
     they have 25 days of intense texting, and then meet in real life?
     This fiction is a slowburn and was originally posted on wattpad.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
***** A New Friend *****
Sans is online!
 
Sans: Heya
Sans: You prob don't know me but I saw your post 'bout science and I thought it
was clever and well done.
You: I think you might be.. overreacting ;)
You: I make horrible science puns periodically lol
Sans: why
Sans: You are my new favorite person
You: I made like 2 puns wow
Sans: They were pretty sansational though ;)))
You: did you just
You: you did
You: I'll crown you to punmaster
Sans: Wow didn't know I could get crowned again
You: psh, asshole
You: I gave you a compliment
Sans: And I gave you an answer
You: Wow that's quite inskullking if you ask me
Sans: Tibia honest, that was a really humerus pun
You: Wow two puns in one sentence.. you're really driving me bonenanas here
Sans: lmao okay so I haven't heard that one before
Sans: So what's your name?
Sans: (just making conversation here)
You: what if you were a stalker
Sans: then get into my van
You: shit okay I'm alex
Sans: Nice name.
Sans: I'm sans btw.
Sans: you could have guessed that
You: I did wow I feel really smart
You: I have the ability to read
You: praise me
Sans: *Praises*
Sans: So any hobbies?
You: I like science and reading I guess.
Sans: nice
You: you?
Sans: science as well. dunno I sleep most of the day
You: such an interesting life
Sans: ikr
Sans: what do think about monsters though?
You: Idk I'm not bothered by them. I met a few, and they're really nice
You: like, I can't understand why you would discriminate them
Sans: nice
Sans: ..
Sans: so
Same: I'm a skeleton
Sans: hi
You: well hi mr. skeleton
Sans: you ain't shocked or anything?
You: why would I be?
You: hip hip hooray I'm chatting with a skeleton
Sans: well you are the first one who doesn't click away when I tell them I'm a
skele so thanks
You: nahw
You: so what are you doing at a chatbox at like 3 am?
Sans: Trying to get kids into my van
Sans: jk
Sans: idk I was bored
You: shit wait do you have candy
Sans: why
You: i'd come into your van if you had candy
Sans: what even is this convo
You: idk
Sans: lol
You: SO WHAT ABOUT YOUR LIFE
Sans: what about it?
You: WeLL HOW WAS THE UNDERGROUND
Sans: well uh there was no sky
You: oh
Sans: just stating the facts
You: Any family?
Sans: Just one brother
Sans: Are you trying to get me into your van now?
You: I might
You: what if we did like a twenty questions thing
Sans: whats the twenty questions thing
You: its like I ask you a question, you ask me one, I ask you one, and so on
You: SO
You: YES
Sans: ok okok
Sans: So ms. alex.. whats your favorite color?
You: Dark blue
You: Now boneboy, whats your occupation?
Sans: (whwat if I was a girl what then) I work a bunch of jobs
You: (wow helpful)
Sans: Okay humangirl, whats your occupation?
You: I work at a bar yay
You: ALSO WHAT IF IM NOT A GIRL HUH?
You: HMMM??
You: I AM HURT
Sans: calm down child
You: ok
You: So how does monster anatomy work?
Sans: wow
Sans: I can explain this
Sans: wait for it
Sans: 4
Sans: 3
Sans: 2
Sans: 1
Sans: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmagic
You: why r u like this
Sans: SO NOW
Sans: How does human anatomy work?
You: ok
You: guess what
You: idk
You: cells.
You: blood.
Sans: 10/10
You: What's your favorite type of ice-cream
Sans: Blueberry
Sans: What do you look like?
You: are you trying to stalk me and get me in ur van
Sans: that's obvious isn't it
You: yeah duh
You: I have like brown hair with green eyes yay
You: NOW MY QUESTION MUSHWHA
Sans: oh god
You: WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE
Sans: like a skeleton
You: ...
Sans: Have you ever seen a skeleton in real life?
Yeah: yes
Sans: imagine that skeleton wearing clothes. boom that's me
You: 10/10
Sans: Okay whats the most embarrassing thing you've ever done
You: (I'm one pile of embarrassing moments and I'm just an awkward bean in
general don't hurt me this way)
You: uh
You: like I cried because we were watching shrek in class one time and I just
couldn't stop laughing and crying and everyone looked at me
Sans: shrekislove
You: dude you have been on the surface for 4 months and you have already
watched that filth
Sans: sans is love sans is life
You: pls
Sans: I discovered the memes when I went on the internet
Sans: I cried a little when I saw other people who shared my kind of humor
Sans: somE BODY ONCE TOLD ME
You: I feel you
Sans: did you fart because you blew me away
You: pls
Sans: damn girl are you sitting on my f5 key cus ur ass is refreshing
You: *cries*
Sans: therewillbeonly7planetsleftafteridestroyuranus
You: ;-;
Sans: nice shoes. wanna fuck
You: SKDJF:LKSJ
You: what an asshole
Sans: I used pick up lines
Sans: I'm still trying to get you into my van
You: o
You: oh
You: oooh
You: OOHOOOOOOH HAHAH
You: your jokes are lame
Sans: I lost my teddy bear wanna sleep with me
You: didn't you have a brother
You: also you're lame pff
Sans: yeah what about him?
You: nothing I'm just trying to change the subject without you noticing
Sans: oh cool
You: so about your brother
You: older or younger?
Sans: younger than me
You: also
Sans: ?
You: Are you a Jamaican
You: because Jamaican me crazy
You: eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Sans: lol
Sans: I gtg though. tomorrow same time?
You: yea sure
Sans: Bye :D
You: bye boneboy
***** Double Trouble *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
You: Hi
You: You there?
You: I guess not?
You: Didn't think you'd come
You: oh well
Sans is now online!
Sans: Heya
Sans: Sorry my bro needed his bed time story
You: Oh no pressure family comes first right?
Sans: Right
You: So what's your brother like?
Sans: He's a skeleton too
You: wow I couldn't have predicted that
Sans: He's tall, unlike me. And sportive, unlike me
You: so you're a short and lazy skeleton
Sans: yup
You: well we have that in common then
You: apart from the fact that I'm not a skeleton
Sans: He's 17 btw.
Sans: And yes he gets a bed time story
Sans: And yes that was a thing in the underground
You: fair enough
You: How old are you btw
Sans: 49
You: ..
You: ................................oh
Sans: jk
Sans: 21
You: lmao I thought the van thing was real for one second
Sans: ;)
Sans: you?
You: oh I'm just a 12 year old child
Sans: lmao
Sans: well this is kinda awkward then huh
You: I have ponytails
Sans: amaze
You: yes cus I'm obviously a 12 year old child with the love for science and
their laptop
Sans: kids these days
You: I'm 20 lol
Sans: *sweats*
You: *throws towel*
You: use it wisely boneboy.
Sans: so how was your day fleshgirl
Sans: oh god I'm never gonna say fleshgirl again
You: ew
You: meh kinda shit
You: I might have hit someone when I was working
Sans: what
You: they were discriminating monsters
You: so yeah
You: I felt like my fist belonged on their face
You: I JUST GOT REALLY PISSED BECAUSE THERE WAS THIS ARROGANT FUCKING LADY
TELLING A MONSTER OFF AND SKLD:FJKSLJDf
Sans: savage
Sans: thanks for standing up for us btw
Sans: means a lot. not everyone does that
You: no problemo Pablo
Sans: cool cool
[Sans changed their name to Pablo]
You: really
Pablo: yes my amigo
You: ...
Pablo: whats with the dotto I'm only trying to talko
You: maybeo you shouldo noto do dato
Pablo: but I'm Pablo
You: pls
[Pablo changed their name to mememaster69]
You: this is even worse
Mememaster69: whaddaya meme
Mememaster69: I wanted to type mean but I typed meme shit waddup
You: ..
You: pls
You: also dat boi is an old meme you shouldn't call yourself a mememaster
Mememaster69: sorry I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
You: seriously if there wasn't human internet in the underground, did you spend
like 5 hours a day on the internet.
You: meming
Mememaster69: what if I did
You: then you can be my best friend
Mememaster69: i guess i made myself a new best friend then
You: nice
You: you got any other friends?
Mememaster69: yup
Mememaster69: i have a bunch of monster friends. I'm short on humans
You: you are always short
Mememaster69: I'm big where it counts though
Mememaster69: ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
[Mememaster69 has changed their name to SexySkele]
You: i cant even rn
You: i gotta ask though
SexySkele: ?
You: have you ever had sex while camping?
SexySkele: uh well thats kinda private
You: its fucking intents
SexySkele: ..
SexySkele: lmao
SexySkele: you have 1 skeleton inside you. Want another one
You: ...
You: oh
You: ..
You: do you sell hot dogs
You: cus you sure know how to make a wiener stand
SexySkele: fun fact
SexySkele: i do
SexySkele: LIKE THE SELLING HOT DOGS THING
You: HAHA
You: LOL GAY
You: same
You: Do you have 11 protons? Cus you're sodium cute <33333
SexySkele: I'd periodically do you on a table
You: i love you more than food
SexySkele: damn
You: jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk
SexySkele: well this is fun
SexySkele: imma grab something to drink brb
You: k
SexySkele: HELLO DEAR HUMAN!
SexySkele: NYEH
You: back already?
SexySkele: NO THIS IS HIS GREAT BROTHER PAPYRUS
You: Oh hi papyrus :D
SexySkele: WHY DOES SANS HAVE THIS USERNAME
You: reasons
You: don't scroll up
You: pls
SexySkele: SANS WAS LAUGHING REALLY HARD SO I THOUGHT I SHOULD CHECK UP ON HIM
BUT HE'S IN THE KITCHEN NOW
You: lol
You: you can also not press caps btw
SexySkele: WHAT IS A CAPS
SexySkele: NYEHAHAHEH
You: its like the capital letter thing
SexySkele: OH WELL I CANT FIND IT
SexySkele: ARE YOU A FRIEND OF SANS?
You: yup
SexySkele: OH WELL ITS GREAT TO MEET YOU HUMAN
You: I'm alex btw :D
You: Its also great to meet you Pap
SexySkele: ARE YOU COMING TO VISIT SOON?
You: dunno. idk where you two live
SexySkele: WELL SANS TOLD ME TO NOT GIVE OUR ADRES TO PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET.
THEREFORE I WONT GIVE MY ADRES, OH HOW IT HURTS. DENYING A FRIEND
You: its ok bro
SexySkele: WOWIE MY BROTHER SAYS BRO TOO
You: its a pretty common thing to say lol
You: so do you have any hobbies?
SexySkele: I LOVE COOKING!
SexySkele: I LOVE SPAGHETTI
SexySkele: SPAGHETTI IS MY HOBBY
You: Do you like.. make it yourself?
SexySkele: YES! I LEARNED TO MAKE IT WITH A FRIEND
You: That's so cool :D I wish i could cook
SexySkele: I COULD LEARN YOU
SexySkele: WAIT NO
You: its okay papyrus
SexySkele: SO DO YOU HAVE ANY GREAT HOBBYS HUMAN?
You: well i like being on my laptop and watching anime and other series on
netflix idk. i love science as well :d
SexySkele: ANIME! I HAVE TWO FRIENDS, ALPHYS AND UNDYNE WHO LIKE ANIME! SANS
LOVES SCIENCE TOO :DDDDD (AND IM PRETTY SURE YOU TWO SHOULD GET MARRIED BECAUSE
HE LOVES HIS COMPUTER)
You: ill consider it
SexySkele: CAN I BE THE BEST MAN?
SexySkele: BECAUSE I AM VERY GREAT
You: sure
SexySkele: NYEHHEHEHEH OH WAIT MY BROTHER IS COMING BACK
SexySkele: HE SAYS I SHOULD GO SLEEP
SexySkele: GOODBYE HUMAN ALEX!
You: Bye pap :D
SexySkele: wow
SexySkele: I'm like 4 minutes away and ur already considering marriage
You: sshh
You: ALSO IM SO AWKWARD
You: DO YOU EVEN NOTICE HOW I TALK TO YOU VS TO YOUR BROTHER IDK SJDF:KLJSD
SexySkele: Did you like my bro?
You: he seems cool ;)
SexySkele: nice
You: he is still so pure though
You: like wow
SexySkele: wait I'm reading back the convo
SexySkele: nice that he remembers what i said about the internet to him
You: yup
You: I'm sure you are a good brother to him :p
SexySkele: I'm trying my best
You: anyway, its getting kinda late. and I'm tired
SexySkele: like my van
You: yes
You: but srsly imma sleep
SexySkele: same time tomorrow?
You: sure
SexySkele: Bye then :)
You: BYE BABE
You: (gotta be romantic if i wanna marry)
SexySkele: you can be my vertebae
You: nice
You: you can be like my
You: uh
You: Fleshoe
SexySkele: so I'm a hoe now
SexySkele: I'm calling divorce
You: NO
You: BYE
Chapter End Notes
     If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
     Follow me on social media!
     Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel
     Instagram: @Esmeemotional
     Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies
***** Pretty Positive *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
SexySkele: Heeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllooooooooooooooo
You: HEIIIIIII BONEBOY
SexySkele: HEY FLESHGIRL
You: you rlly want to call me that?
SexySkele: I'm positive.
You: Hi proton.
SexySkele: Hi neutron
[SexySkele changed their name to SexyProton]
You: wow wait
You: do you know the show Jimmy Neutron?
SexyProton: I believe my bro and a friend were watching that.
SexyProton: so yes
You: what if Jimmy neutron in another dimension was like a badboy and he would
be named Jimmy Proton
SexyProton: that would be glorious
SexyProton: So how was your day?
You: fine I guess. I didn't feel the urge to punch someone so it was a good day
:)))
You: You?
SexyProton: meh was all right
You: what do you do for work btw
SexyProton: I have a couple of jobs actually
SexyProton: like I work at a hotdog stand and at an ice cream shop and all that
sorta stuff
You: nice
You: or should I say ice
You: plsdontkillme
SexyProton: I FuCkInG sNoRtEd
SexyProton: how did I snort I don't have a nose
You: maybe my friend nose it
You: haha
You: hahahh
SexyProton: ...
You: ha
SexyProton: Seriously HOW
You: hey that snot what I meant
SexyProton: IM SCREAMING
You: I'm just imagining a skeleton making distressed noises rn
You: ha
SexyProton: I smell another bad pun coming
You: what do you call a nose without a body
You: nobody nose
SexyProton: pls
SexyProton: So a friend of pap is sleeping over and she almost burned the house
ha
You: nice
You: she's a smoking hot girl then?
SexyProton: meh not my type
SexyProton: BUT HER SPAGHETTI IS BETTER SO I JUST ASKED HER TO MAKE A BUNCH
You: is your bro's cooking that bad?
SexyProton: dude come over and eat his spaghetti
SexyProton: I dare you
You: ok ok ok ok
SexyProton: I'm here in my room and I can hear them screaming help
You: everything all right thre?
You: there*
SexyProton: yeah they yell quite a lot
SexyProton: at the tv that is
SexyProton: seems like another friend has knocked the door down
You: tough life there
SexyProton: imma just hide here with my laptop
You: how can one knock a door down though
SexyProton: with their legs
SexyProton: (hes a robot)
You: lol
You: wait what
SexyProton: like their legs
You: it woulnt happen to be mettaton would it?
SexyProton: you know the guy?
You: My friend keeps talking about him
You: like dude
You: i'd say she has a crush
SexyProton: believe me, he's even worse irl
You: lmao my friend would be freaking out if she would ever met him
SexyProton: He kind of likes my brother I think
SexyProton: worse is
SexyProton: Pap likes him back
You: omg yes
You: so you two are gonna be family then
SexyProton: of course I hope for pap it works out BUT HECK I DONT WANNA BE
FAMILY WITH A TOASTER
You: same I feel your pain
SexyProton: I hope you don't lmao
SexyProton: wait I'm being called to the living room
SexyProton: what should I do I don't wanna socialize
You: say that you're fapping or something ikd
SexyProton: I'm a skeleton.
You: lol yes uh
You: hmmmmmmmmmm
SexyProton: doesn't mean I cant fap
You: wait what
SexyProton: mmmmmmmmmagic
SexyProton: HOLD ON
SexyProton: wait ill take my laptop with me to prevent people getting on here
You: okok
SexyProton: I'm in the living room now kill me
You: rip
You: Sans has gone on a forced socialize trip. And he hasn't been in his
bedroom for a few days
SexyProton: what
You: its funny if you understand
You: spend more time on tumblr boneboy
You: its a supernatural reference
Sexyproton: jaksflaaf7y8uw9e7fvhyuijo987efiohdaskj839uieo
You: ?
Sexyproton: 489iuejokd
SexyProton: 84uewoiajskjowi;jsk
You: calm down my dude
SexyProton: FUHUHUHUH
SexyProton: WHO ARE YOU
You: oh hi
You: I'm alex
You: you're one of sans' friends I assume?
SexyProton: YEs
SexyProton: LOL
SexyProton: PAPYRUS HAS LOCKED SANS IN HIS GRIP HAHAHA
You: lmao
You: So whats your name?
SexyProton: The name's Undyne :D
SexyProton: HA HES MAKING LIKE DISTRESSED NOISES
You: HAHAHA
SexyProton: why the fuck is sans called sexyproton
You: long long story
SexyProton: what
SexyProton: wait ill scroll back
You: NO
SexyProton: lol you're a nerd
SexyProton: I HAVE A NERDY GIRLFRIEND
You: nice
SexyProton: WAIT YOU LIKE ANIME?
You: YOU SCROLLED THAT FAR UP?
SexyProton: YES HAHAHA
SexyProton: MY DUDE I LOVE ANIME
SexyProton: DO YOU LIKE DRAGON BALL Z?
You: Yup
SexyProton: YeS THE FIGHT SCENES ARE AWESOME!
SexyProton: HAAHKDSJFSLDHAHAHAH
SexyProton: SANS IS MAKING DISTRESSED NOISES AGAIN AHAH
You: Lmao
You: so you're a good cook?
SexyProton: THE BEST
You: And you can cook pasta?
SexyProton: YES
You: You should teach me sometime. cookin seems inpastable for me
You: So sad though, it seems that I don't have enough thyme to do that
SexyProton: IM RELEASING SANS BYE
You: HAHA
SexyProton: JESUS PAPYRUS IS STRONG
SexyProton: nice puns tho
You: *bows*
SexyProton: lol shes screaming
You: I guess cheese still not over it
SexyProton: Pap and undyne are gonna make pasta now. Hope that the house
doesn't burn down
You: same
You: if Papyrus was a hooker, and you had to pay him with pasta, what would you
call him
SexyProton: ?
You: a pastatude
SexyProton: penne for your thoughts
You: lmao
You: Wait hold on my friend is calling
SexyProton: tell her about the mtt thing that's gonna be fun
You: okok hold on
[ SexyProton changed their name to Sans ]
You: JESUS CHRIST SHE SCREAMED IN MY EAR
You: I ALMOST BROKE MY PHONE THANKS
Sans: LMAo
You: SHE ASKED WHERE YOU LIVED
Sans: HAHA STALKER
Sans: Also, Ebott town
You: Like the mountain
Sans: ye
You: rip that's literally on the other side of the world
Sans: so far for meeting then
You: ;-;
Sans: what is life
You: dunno man
Sans: hold on I smell fire
You: okok
You: and?
Sans: they only burned their sauce
You: phew
Sans: ew mettaton is posing on the table why does he do that
You: pure torture
Sans: rip
You: anyway, my friend is coming over idk what she wants
You: she probably wants to devour my soul or something idk
Sans: You have monster friends?
You: not irl
You: ON THE INTERNET ONLY
Sans: So we're friends?
You: YEAH
Sans: fuck
You: ?
Sans: Friendzoned
Sans: Also monsters can devour souls
You: welp fuck my life then
You: gtg
You: same time tomorrow?
Sans: Sure. I'm having dinner soon so yeha
Sans: BYE FLESHCHILD
You: BYEBONEBOY
Chapter End Notes
     If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
     Follow me on social media!
     Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel
     Instagram: @Esmeemotional
     Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies
***** They get worse every time *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Sans is now online!
Sans: So... how was hanging out w/ your friend?
You: It was pretty fun actually :p We watched spirited away
Sans: I think I heard Alphys talk about that movie.. is it worth the watch?
You: YES! I loved it so much I can't
You: who's Alphys btw
You: IS IT YOUR GIRLFRIEND
Sans: undynes gf
You: Oh I heard her talking about her
You: she is also a nerd?
Sans: Yup
You: nice
You: so
You: how
You: has
You: your
You: day
You: been
Sans: well I had a free day today
Sans: So I went to visit the kid with Pap
You: the kid?
Sans: oh right. Well they're called Frisk and they're the ambassador of
monsters
Sans: So I Went there with pap and hung out with tori for like the rest of the
day
You: (dunnowhotoriisbutok)
Sans: Tori is the queen of monsters. Her ex is Asgore, the king of monsters
You: dude
You: you hang out with the Queen of monsters?
Sans: Yup
Sans: we have a friendly history together though
Sans: wanna hear it?
You: Sure :))
Sans: So in the underground, there was a village I lived in: Snowdin. And I was
walking trough the forest one day, and found this huge door.
Sans: So I thought: Lets practice my knock knock jokes here
Sans: One day, I was knockin' him out as usual, and someone behind that door
actually laughed. I smirked and told more jokes.
Sans: Then, she tells a joke
Sans: And that was basically how I met tori
You: *sniffs*
You: this could be in a game or something
You: like you are a laid back character in the game with this cool past
Sans: I'd play it
You: same
You: What does the underground look like though?
Sans: Never been to it?
Sans: You can visit it now lol
You: (I'm on the other side of the world what did you expect)
Sans: true
Sans: So there are like a couple of regions
You: okok
Sans: You have Snowdin, Waterfalls, Hotland and the core
You: nice
Sans: I lived in Snowdin with pap. Undyne lived in Waterfalls and Alphys and
Mettaton lived in Hotland
You: Who lived in the core?
Sans: some monsters. Not much though
You: Would you go ever back there?
Sans: Dunno. I like it up here.
You: Ikr you can have the wind in your hair as you ride your cool car
You: ...
You: if you're wearing a wig that is
Sans: Pap has a cool car actually
Sans: It's like a red race car
You: nice
You: By the way, what do your friends look like?
You: (I kinda want to have a face by the name)
Sans: You sure you aren't some 58 guy?
You: Last time I checked I was
Sans: ok ok
Sans: Well uh well you know mettaton
You: yes
You: What do undyne and alphys look like?
Sans: Uh well undyne is like a blue fish lady with an eyepatch and red hair
You: 'fish lady'
Sans: tch
Sans: Alphys is like a yellow dinosaur/lizard with a labcoat and glasses
You: nice nice
Sans: So you know who to pick up in your van now
You: *sighs* finally
Sans: I'd pick you up but i'd rather take you out
Sans: ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
You: go use your pickup lines on tori boneboy
Sans: ew she is like 100000 years old
You: lol
Sans: Nah she belongs with Asgore
You: cute cute
Sans: Did you fart
Sans: because you blew me away
You: help me
Sans: So what are you wearing
Sans: (IM ASKING FOR A FRiEND)
You: WELL IM WEARING SWEATPANTS
You: and a shirt
You: lol
Sans: the sweatpants would look even better if it would be accelerating towards
my bedroom floor at 9.8m/s
You: ...
You: ...............
Sans: ..
You: are your mom and dad religious
You: CUS YOU SURE ARE THE BOMB
You: cue laughing
Sans: pls
Sans: .......
You: lmao
You: you're an asshole xx
Sans: oh btw alphys asked me this
You: ?
Sans: Are you from Japan?
You: nope
Sans: ah that's too bad cus I would have been all up in japanties
You: that's even worse
You: ..
You: I'm so proud
Sans: How did you not block me yet
You: dunno man. I'm easy to amuse
Sans: So I'm easy amusement?
You: Well after tonight you're gonna be hard amusement
You: ;)))))))
You: ;)))))))))))
Sans: YOU TRICKED ME
You: HAHAHAH
Sans: IM PROUD BtW
You: HAHA
You: I can't rn I'm proud of that one
Sans: same same
Sans: Are you a 90 degree angle? Cus you sure are looking right
You: oh
You: btw my sister came with this math problem
Sans: you have a sister?
You: Idk I couldn't solve it
Sans: Lay it on me
You: Y + U = 25
You: like I don't get it
Sans: ?
You: oh wait
You: Y must be 15 cus U sure are a 10
Sans: ...
Sans: ...
Sans: that was smooth
You: I'm so smooth
Sans: You dropped something
You: what
Sans: my jaw
You: wait can you actually detach stuff
You: like your arms and shit
Sans: yup
You: that's so cool damn
Sans: ew mettaton is coming tonight to make 'a big announcement'
You: ha
Sans: pity me, you don't have to sit around and look at a dramatic robot
You: believe me, when I'm with my friend, I do
Sans: well how about we throw ourselves a pity party then
You: was that a melanie martinez reference
You: anyway,
You: sure
Sans: Oh he's here
You: Tomorrow?
Sans: same time
You: Ya
Sans: BYE
You: BYE
You: btw my body has 206 bones want to give me another one
You: OK BYE HAHA
Chapter End Notes
     Thanks for all the kudo's and nice comments :)))))
     ---
     If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
     Follow me on social media!
     Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel
     Instagram: @Esmeemotional
     Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies
***** The Tour *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Sans is now online!
Sans: Sup my ladydude
You: sup my manlydude
Sans: Did you hear the mtt news?
You: Mtt is gonna tour right?
Sans: yup
Sans: I'm coming with him btw
You: how come? I thought you hated him?
Sans: I truly do, but I need to protect papyrus
You: nahw
Sans: so yeah
Sans: 40+ days on a tourbus with a toaster
You: Looking forward to it?
Sans: n o p e
Sans: damn I hope I have wifi
You: ur with mtt
You: he has like
You: HE IS THE WiFI
Sans: yes
Sans: im gonna take my laptop with me hehe
You: yay
You: lemme know how the tour is then
Sans: I'll have to work there btw
Sans: probably gonna run a hot dog stand there
You: coolio
Sans: ew I have to hear screaming girls every night
You: don't put that out of context
You: ;))))
Sans: I swear to god why do i even talk 2 u
You: because u love me
Sans: tru ;)
You: lol
You: my friend is probably freaking out lolol
Sans: what's their name tho
You: it's Jess
Sans: so jess the obsessed fangirl
You: basically
You: I still remember the day I introduced her to tumblr
Sans: oh god
You: That was a memorable day
You: I loved it
You: she was like
You: fangirling
Sans: lol
You: then she saw the mtt tag
Sans: oh god
You: she
You: started
You: screaming
You: at the screen
Sans: poor screen
You: it was epic
Sans: nice
Sans: oh by the way
Sans: pap wanted to talk to you
You: oh sure
Sans: here he comes :D
You: HI PAP
Sans: HELLO THERE HUMAN BEHIND THE COMPUTER!
You: HEYA
Sans: HOW HAS YOUR DAY BEEN FELLOW FRIEND?
You: It was good actually. I work at a café and idk it just was a good day.
Sans: THAT SEEMS LIKE A FUN JOB! I WORK AT A FLOWERSTORE
You: That's so cool!
Sans: I KNOW!
You: So how has your day been?
Sans: IT WAS RATHER GOOD! THANK YOU FOR ASKING HUMAN :D
You: Oh hold on pap my friend is calling me.
Sans: OKAY
Sans: ARE YOU THERE HUMAN ALEX?
Sans: ARE YOU STILL CALLING?
Sans: ??
Sans: HUMAN ALEX ARE YOU THERE?
Sans: NYEH??
You: ohmygod
You: uh pap?
Sans: YES?
You: can you call sans for a minute?
Sans: OFCOURSE
Sans: sup
You: ohmygo
You: sans
You: sans
You: sans
You: sans
Sans: calm your tits
You: shh
Sans: Sup?
You: you know my friend right
Sans: no but yes
You: So
You: phew so ohmgod
You: She booked two tickets to the show
Sans: ohmygod
You: we actually get to meet?????
Sans: AAAAaaAWsSSSSaAAaaaAa
You: sdkajflkasjd
Sans: ohmygodyes
You: :DDDDDDDD
Sans: doesn't she know you don't like him btw
You: nope
Sans: lol
You: I mean like I like his music a little bit. Its not my kind of music though
Sans: What are ya into?
You: you ;)
You: jk
You: like
You: bands
Sans: as in?
You: you want me to list all of them?
Sans: Yes?
You: My chemical romance, Panic! At the disco, fall out boy, falling in
reverse, paramore, muse, gorillaz, blink-182, nirvana, green day, ac/dc, the
all-americain rejects, black veil brides, imagine dragons, Melanie Martinez
(she's not a band), red hot chili peppers, set it off, rise against, the
smashing pumpkins, Queen, the Beatles, Foals and the weekend.
Sans: welp
Sans: that's a lot
You: Yup
Sans: so in how many days is the concert?
You: uh lemme see
You: 20 what
You: wait what
Sans: what
You: what
Sans: help
You: shit dude I have to get cool clothes so you will not think of me as a
trashy pig
Sans: what if I already do
You: well fuck
Sans: jk ur fine
You: what if I'm a 58 year old man
Sans: well fuck
You: we get to meet aajdkajsd;lk
Sans: ITS SO SOON THOUGH
You: I can't brb
Sans: 20 DAYS????????
Sans: That's like one of the first concerts
Sans: the 3rd
You: *slow claps*
You: jess sure doesn't want any spoilers
Sans: lol
You: ITS SO SOON 20 DAYS
Sans: I'm still freaking out
Sans: Papyrus is asking me why I make weird noises
You: lol
Sans: tELL HIM URSELF
You: OK
Sans: NYEH HELLO HUMAN! HERE I AM AGAIN
You: Hi :D
Sans: WHY IS SANS MAKING THESE NOISES?
You: WELL
You: You are going with on tour right
Sans: YES OF COURSE
Sans: ALPHYS AND UNDYNE WILL BE THERE TOO
Sans: ALPHYS FOR EVENTUAL FIXING OF MTT AND UNDYNE JUST WANTED TO TAG ALONG
You: ohmygod
You: jskldjafkls;jd
Sans: IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG
Sans: ARE YOU MAKING NOISES AS WELL
You: YEP
You: PAP IM GOING TO BE AT THE CONCERT IN 20 DAYS
Sans: NYEH
Sans: THAT IS GREAT!
Sans: YOU CAN MEET EVERYONE!
You: I KNOW
You: THATS WHY IM FREAKING OUT
You: dkja;sldfjasld;kjfa;
Sans: DONT SLAM YOUR KEY BOARD :D
Sans: I'm here again hi
You: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME
You: AAAAAAAAAAAa
You: I GET TO MEET EVERYONE
You: JSKDJFKSLJL
Sans: SORRY I WAS JUsT FREAKING OUT I COULDN'T THINK STRAIGHT OK
You: i can never think straight lol im gay
You: jk
You: im bi ur fooled
Sans: NICe
You: SSDK:JKLSDKJ
Sans: AAAAAAaa
You: I'm still screaming in and outside
Sans: same
You: what if I'm just screaming at my crappy laptop rn
Sans: what if you are
You: dunno
You: I'm slowly getting soaked into my laptop
Sans: lolol
Sans: wait
Sans: its like 7 PM at my place
You: yesh
Sans: how late is it at yours?
You: oh
You: haha
You: you know
You: 4 AM
Sans: ...
You: the bags under my eyes look brighter than my future
Sans: same
You: HA
You: IM STILL FREAKING OUT
Sans: GO SLEEP ITS 4 AM
You: OKAY
You: WELL
You: GOOD NIGHT THEN
Sans: YES YOU TOO
You: :DD
Sans: SLEEP
Chapter End Notes
     If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
     Follow me on social media!
     Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel
     Instagram: @Esmeemotional
     Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies
***** Serious Banter *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Sans: 19 DAYS
You: AAAAAAAA
Sans: How are you awake at 4 am tho
You: well I have like a fucked up sleep rhythm due to my insomnia :'))))
You: So that means that I can stay up longer
You: idk I don't need that much sleep
You: I can have like 5 hours of sleep and that's ok for me
Sans: Nice
Sans: A fellow insomniac
You: you too?
Sans: yup
You: How come?
Sans: Well it started off with these nightmares
Sans: Lets just say something happened in the underground which traumatized me
Sans: And it happened more than one time
Sans: So I got nightmares from that
Sans: And I eventually gave up on sleeping
Sans: So I have like 3 hours of sleep
You: Arent you tired?
Sans: Nah I sleep throughout the day
You: Well same goes for me I guess
You: I had nightmares too so I stopped sleeping
You: I don't mind not sleeping though which sounds weird to you probs
Sans: ?
You: Well I have more time for myself and I can go out and ride anywhere when
it's dark 'cause it's not busy on the roads
Sans: true true
Sans: Same goes for me I guess
You: nice
You: I'm with my friend btw
You: we did a sleepover thing
Sans: Coolio
You: Imma make some coffee brb
Sans: okki
Sans: I'll just be lonely here
Sans: sooooo lonely
[Sans changed their name to Lonelyguy69]
Lonelyguy69: ha ha I'm so alone
You: HELLO
You: HI
You: HAHAH I UNLOCKED ALEX HER LAPTOP
You: Who the fuck are you
Lonelyguy69: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
Lonelyguy69: I'm sans
Lonelyguy69: hi
You: OH SANS
You: are you like the skeleton alex is constantly talking about
Lonelyguy69: I guess??
Lonelyguy69: What did she say bout me tho
You: Oh you know
You: SANS BBY <3
Lonelyguy69: ...
Lonelyguy69: did my pickuplines work
You: I guess so lol
You: so tell me about yourself
You: hmm
Lonelyguy69: well I'm abandoned by alex
Lonelyguy69: SHE LEFT ME FOR COFFEE
You: lol wait she is coming back
Lonelyguy69: k
Lonelyguy69: heiiiiii alex
You: what
You: WAIT JESS
You: hold on i'll sue her
Lonelyguy69: okok
You: did it
You: btwimnotalwaystalkingaboutyou
Lonelyguy69: HMM WELL JeSS SAID DIFFERENT??
Lonelyguy69: YOU LOOOOOVE ME
[Lonelyguy69 changed their name to lovelyskeledude69]
lovelyskeledude69: ha
lovelyskeledude69: alex loves me
You: P L A T O N I C
lovelyskeledude69: lol wait that reminds me of something
lovelyskeledude69: One time, when frisk fell into the underground they went on
a date with Papyrus
You: what isn't frisk like 8 and pap like 17
lovelyskeledude69: let it be
lovelyskeledude69: so papyrus asked frisk out on a date and it was fun
lovelyskeledude69: then at the end of the date papyrus wanted a platonic
relationship
You: lol
lovelyskeledude69: the date was at home and he literally said:
lovelyskeledude69: "WE CAN GO INSIDE AND DO WHAT PEOPLE DO ON A DATE"
lovelyskeledude69: I tried so hard not to laugh
You: HAHAH
lovelyskeledude69: they were heading into papyrus' room
You: ohmygod
You: HAHAHAHHA
You: Alex.exe has stopped working
[ lovelyskeledude69 has changed their name to Sans ]
Sans: ye that kid can be pretty great
You: are they coming on tour as well?
Sans: Dunno
Sans: don't think so tho
Sans: don't think tori will let them
You: ah
You: but
You: 19 DAyS!
Sans: ks;ajdklalsdj
Sans: ew so mettaton was here again
Sans: and he gave me this ugly shirt
Sans: with his head on it
Sans: actually it was a bunch of those ugly shirts
Sans: and I have to wear them on tour
You: lololol
You: Sansaton
You: shipit
Sans: alesans ;))))
You: Salex ;)))
Sans: are we seriously shipping ourselves
You: yes
Sans: platonicrelationshipgoals
You: ikr
Sans: ololol
You: wait jess is screaming at her laptop what
Sans: lol wat
You: she was on the mettaton tumblr tag again
Sans: HAHAH
You: You know the tour trailer on youtube right
Sans: ye
You: SHE HAS BEEN REPLAYING IT LIKE FOR THE WHOLE DAY
You: AND SHE IS SCREAMING 19
You: asjlkdfc
You: I still love that child tho
Sans: lol
Sans: literally everyone is screaming 19
Sans: I think undyne is tagging along cus we're going to japan
You: she a weeb too?
Sans: YES
Sans: it was funny in the underground
Sans: Alphys had said that anime is actually human history
Sans: and that manga is human history as well
You: LOLOl
Sans: they are so cute as a couple though I cant
You: fish lady x dinosaur/lizard lady
You: 10/10
Sans: ITS CUTE YOU'RE GOING TO SCREAM IF YOU SEE THEM OK
You: probably
You: what if I cant find you though
Sans: just visit the hotdogstand
Sans: or the mobile restaurant
Sans: ill be there
You: aye okok
You: so ill have to look for a short skeleton, probably sleeping and wearing an
ugly mettaton shirt
You: all right
Sans: add a blue jacket, basketball shorts and pink slippers to the list and
you got the guy
You: You basketball?
Sans: nope
Sans: I only dunk children
You: what
Sans: nothing
You: WhAt
Sans: ill tell u
Sans: its gonna be a long story though
Sans: so prepare
You: Okok
Sans: So in the underground, there were resets. The person with the most
determination could reset the timeline. Resetting means going back to a certain
point. It deleted all the memories of the monsters, but mine
Sans: So I remember all resets
Sans: One day, Frisk, who has the most determination, gets possessed by chara.
Chara is a demon.
Sans: Frisk, or chara killed every monster in the underground
Sans: I would have to stop them. So I dunk kids when they want a bad time.
Sans: they would reset to the point where they would try to beat me constantly.
I remember killing them over and over again
Sans: I also remember dying
You: jesus
You: well I understand your nightmares now
You: damn
You: What does dying feel like?
Sans: Well you know that monsters turn to dust when they die right?
You: yup
Sans: Well idk. its like you're fading away
Sans: And poof there you are again, in another timeline where frisk is the
almighty pacifist
You: So you remember getting out of the underground?
Sans: We got out multiple times
Sans: Frisk promised not to reset anymore though. Everyone is happy here.
You: well that's good
Sans: yup
You: Are you all right though?
Sans: nope
Sans: but I'm getting better
You: Is there something I can do?
Sans: You're already doing it
You: :D
You: Jess is sleeping lol
Sans: ha
You: lolol she is snoring
Sans: You go sleep as well now
You: ok dad
Sans: u can call me daddy
Sans: ;))))
You: OKAY BYE SANS
Sans: BYE
You: Same time tmorrow
Sans: OFC
Sans: SLEEP WELL
You: U 2
Chapter End Notes
     If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
     Follow me on social media!
     Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel
     Instagram: @Esmeemotional
     Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies
***** Ripped Fish *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
You: YO BONEBOY
Sans: YO YO YO FLESHGIRL
You: 18 DAYS BOI
Sans: WADDUP
You: aksjdf;j
You: I cant
Sans: Same
You: I'm also very emotional rn
Sans: ?
You: okay so have you watched harry potter?
Sans: uh
You: okay yes
You: so uh I always get very emotional when I watch the last movie
Sans: same
You: so guess what
You: I watched the last movie and literally sobbed throughout the whole movie
Sans: ha
You: DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME
You: YES
Sans: OFC
You: ugh I cant I'm still a sobbing mess
Sans: *pats on back*
You: *sniffs*
Sans: wait what do you sniff
You: uh well my nose and stuff
You: to prevent my snot from coming out
Sans: t m I
You: believe me, its a common thing
Sans: well ok
Sans: guess who's here again :D
You: lemme guess
You: Mettaton
Sans: Ding ding ding!
You: What is he doing there now?
Sans: he's hanging out with pap
Sans: GUESS WHAT HE GAVE ME
You: what
Sans: pink
Sans: fucking
Sans: sweatbands
You: HAHAHAHAHHA
You: HA
You: WAIT SKELETONS DONT SWEAT RIGHT
Sans: Yes but I "Have to promote the merch darling!"
You: HA
You: so you're going to be a short skeleton in an ugly shirt with a sweatband
and probably a cool fedora
Sans: omg yes wait I'm going to ask for a fedora hold on
You: HAHA
You: omg yes
You: HA
Sans: oh my god
Sans: I'm Getting ONE
Sans: HAHAHA
Sans: HE WANTED TO MAKE IT MERCH AS WELL HAHAHHAH
You: HAHAHAHHAHAH
You: HA AHA HA
You: what kind of fedora tho
You: I hope a pink one with glitter
Sans: probabs
Sans: I think there will be gay people hitting on me
Sans: lol
You: Ha
You: not if I hit on you first though
Sans: ;)))))
You: ;))))
Sans: ha
You: You're early though! its like 3 am here!
Sans: ikr
Sans: I thought like
Sans: lets not eat spaghetti
You: huh I like spaghetti
Sans: I thought I already told you paps spaghetti isn't the best
You: oh ye you told me
You: welp
Sans: hey
Sans: you liked hp right
You: yes
Sans: well hagrid isn't the only giant on campus ifyouknowwhatimean ;)))
You: (youknowthatyoucantlookbasilisksintheeyeright)
Sans: thatsnotwhatimeant
You: iknowbutimtryingtobeatyouwithmyharrypotterknowledge
Sans: shitthatsclever
You: ikr
Sans: okay
Sans: so whats the difference between my pizza and my pizza jokes
You: well what is the difference between your pizza and your pizza jokes
Sans: my pizza jokes cant be topped
You: *applause*
You: *backs away*
You: I got one
You: what do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common
Sans: well
You: both of them smell like it but neither of them gets to eat it
Sans: what
Sans: oh
Sans: HAHA
Sans: damn
You: how did the hipster burn its mouth
Sans: shit what
You: he ate the pizza before it was cool
Sans: HA
You: did I top your pizza jokes yet
Sans: hmmm
Sans: nope
You: I guess they're just too cheesy for you
Sans: did you
You: sue me boneboy
Sans: ok
You: ey don't get saucy with me
Sans: ..
Sans: you sure are a weirDOUGH
You: there's mushroom for approvement in your jokes
Sans: sh I'm giving this olive got
You: ok you're still the king of puns
Sans: ayay
You: what do you get when a dog jumps in the pizza
You: pupperoni
Sans: u can be the queen of puns now
You: aye
You: So what did you today apart from getting your fabulous shirts and
sweatbands
Sans: well
Sans: nothing
Sans: I literally only watched movies today lol
You: nice
Sans: you?
You: i worked at the café again haah kill me i don't even want that job i hate
socializing with people I'm socially awkward
Sans: well why don't you quit then
You: bc that's the only job i have rn
Sans: hmm
Sans: well sucks
Sans: Working at a bookstore is nice
You: you have worked at a bookstore?
Sans: nope but undyne does
Sans: she enjoys it there
You: Coolio
You: so shes like a bookworm?
Sans: Nope.
Sans: she is like a ripped fish
You: ah
Sans: she is in the gym 24/7
You: rip
Sans: ped fish
You: get into my van
Sans: drive that van into my heart
You: which heart
You: ;)))))0
Sans: WELL MY SOUL OK
You: soul what?
Sans: oh yes everyone has a soul
Sans: i'll show you in... 18 DAYS AYEYEYE
You: YES 18 DAYS AND MY SOUL IS GOING TO BE BRUTALLY RIPPED FROM MY BODY AND
DEVOURED HORRIBLY
Sans: dramaqueen
You: well at least you admit that I'm a queen :)
Sans: ..
Sans: clever
Sans: Anyway, i gotta read Pap his bedtime story, he gets kinda cranky without
one
You: Okki :D
You: Tomorrow?
Sans: Sure thing :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
You: OKAY BYE THEN
Sans: BYE FLEsHGIRL
Chapter End Notes
     If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
     Follow me on social media!
     Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel
     Instagram: @Esmeemotional
     Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies
***** *Skeleton in the closet intensifies* *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
You: 17 DAYS YAYAYA
Sans: HeyOAoOAo
You: HI
Sans: IM HYPER ON COFFEE Btw I DRUNK LIKE 5 CUPS IN THIS HOUR
You: Why
Sans: IDK
You: good reason
Sans: LOLOLOLLOL
You: I would think ur becoming papyrus now
Sans: MAYBE I AM PAPYRUS NYEH HEH HEH
You: what
Sans: JK
You: okokk
Sans: CUS IM ALPHYS
Sans: WHUHAHA
You: OKAY WHAT
Sans: jk I'm undyne hi
You: OKAY WHO ARE YOU
Sans: I'm sans
You: nice and I'm hungry
Sans: hi hungry
You: don't
Sans: I'm snas
You: HA
Sans: rip joke. 2k16, ruined by a typo
You: HAHA HI SNAS
[ Sans changed their name to Snas ]
Snas: *extistenal crisis intensifies*
You: *insecurities intensifies*
Snas: *Making distressed noises intensifies*
You: *Intensifies intensifies*
Snas: *making great conversation intensifies*
You: *crying intensifies*
Snas: *death intensifies*
You: wow 1 - 100 real quick
Snas: ikr
Snas: guess what
You: what
Snas: we're doing the 'who's in my house game' again
You: okok nice
You: hmm
Snas: METTATON!!111!
You: WOW OKAY SPOILERS HI
Snas: He came to explain what my job was at the tour
Snas: guess what
Snas: its great
You: well what.
You: u get to drive a van or something?
Snas: better
You: what could possibly be better than driving a van
Snas: well
Snas: I get to run a restaurant
Snas: well not restaurant
You: :D
Snas: but its kind of like a truck with a restaurant in it??
You: seems coolio
Snas: ikr
You: nice
You: lol jess called me and yelled "17 DAYS!" in my ear and I have just been
ear raped help me
You: she hung up before I could sew her
Snas: welp
Snas: u need a doc?
You: a stripper doc
Snas: 1 - 100
You: ha
You: Your nickname is not aesthetically pleasing
Snas: that's right
Snas: that's because it's snas
You: ................................
You: wake me up inside.exe has stopped
Snas: lol
You: that song just came on what is this I'm living the life of a meme
Snas: I am the meme.
You: be the meme
You: WAKE ME UP
Snas: WAKE ME UP
You: WAKE ME UP INSIDE
Snas: great song 10/10
You: Ive been living a lie
You: theres nothing inside
Snas: same
Snas: wow guess WhAT
Snas: THE DOORBELL IS RINGING YIPPIAYEE
You: *coffee intensifies*
Snas: I HEAR UNDYNE I GOT TO HIDE
Snas: I'm in a closet now
You: skeleton in the closet.. really
Snas: yes.
You: lol
Snas: very humerus isn't it
You: tibia honest, it is
Snas: that's quite inskullking btw
You: nah
You: I think its a real rib-tickler
Snas: wow ur puns are hip
You: why
Snas: idk
Snas: undyne is calling me rip
Snas: I think alphys is here as well yay
You: YOU AND ALPHYS HUH :D
Snas: NOPE
Snas: SHE IS UNDYNES GF
You: SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE
Snas: tch
Snas: shall I go to the living room and sit there
You: like last time where you ended up in pap's grip? sure
Snas: ......
Snas: ill stay in the closet
You: good plan
Snas: lol
You: wow wait
You: is that windex in your pants?
You: cus I can see myself in them
Snas: HAHAHA
Snas: did it hurt when you fell from heaven? ;))))
You: are you calling me satan? cus satan is a fallen angel and I'm not pleased
with this pick up line.
Snas: I FUCKING SNORTED
Snas: I THINK UNDYNE HEARD ME FUCK
You: HAHAHAHAHAHA
You: HAHAH
Snas: SHIT NO SHE FOUND MEJ:SLKJDF:LSJDFSE*UOKDCm.
You: Hi Undyne :D
Snas: WELL HELLO
You: So how are you doing
Snas: Oh I'm fine, I just locked a skeleton in a closet no biggie
You: lol
Snas: So you're coming to the tour?
Snas: NICe
You: YES
Snas: I'll be there too YES
Snas: Alphys too
You: I look forward to meeting you all so much I cant ha
Snas: SAme I WANT TO MEET YOU NERD
Snas: also why did sans spell his name wrong what
You: idk
You: 0h wait he wanted to make a joke but he made a typo
Snas: lol the bonehead
Snas: So who are you punk?
You: I'm alex
Snas: cool cool
Snas: whatdoyalooklike
Snas: hold on I'm walking to the living room
You: oh I have brown short hair and greenish eyes?
Snas: Alphys is here too now yay
Snas: and pap too
You: Hi Al and pap :D
Snas: they say hi
Snas: SO DO YOU LIKE ANIME
You: YES
Snas: AYYAYAYESKDJFKLSJ YES
You: HA WHICH ONE IS YOUR FAVORITE
Snas: MEW MEW KIssY CUTIE
You: WHICH ONE
Snas: 1 THE SECOND ONE IS TRASH
You: IKR
Snas: YES
You: LIKE WHY DID THEY MAKE THAT
You: LITTERALLY NO ONE LIKES THE SECOND SEASON
Snas: IKR
Snas: Alpy and I actually cosplayed two characters for Halloween :D
You: nice
You: I dressed up as a hot dog last Halloween
Snas: why
You: I d o n t k n o w
Snas: seems legit
Snas: Papyrus asked if you like spaghetti
You: YEs I LIke Spaghetii :D
Snas: Papyrus does the nyeh heh heh
You: NYEH
Snas: HAHA ALPHYS WANTED TO SCROLL BACK AND WE SAW ThESE TERRIBLE PICK UP LINES
AND JUST LAUGHING OUR ASSES OFF HAHAHA
You: *bows*
Snas: DO YOU HAVE MORE
You: wow this is the first time someone has asked for a pick up line
You: okay hold on
You: If your left leg was thanksgiving, and your right leg Christmas, could I
visit between the holidays
Snas: HAHAHA
Snas: ALPHYS SNORTED
You: HAHAH
You: HA
Snas: You're so hot, even my zipper is falling for you
You: HAHHAHA
Snas: oKAY WHAT DID THE ONE LESBIAN SAY TO THE OTHEr
You: WELL WHAT
Snas: I CANT THINK STRAIGHT AROUND YOU
You: HAHAHAH
You: I'm laughing too hard I might wake up my apartment complex
Snas: how late is it at yours then
You: like 4 am or something
You: Before you ask, I'm an insomniac
Snas: ah
Snas: okok
You: Btw
You: nice legs
You: when do they open?
Snas: HA
You: Are that space pants?
Snas: what if I'm not wearing pants
You: well shit
You: my pick up line was ruined
Snas: WAIT SANS IS OUT OF THE CLOSET WHAT
Snas: HAHA
You: LOL WHAT HOW
Snas: how did he do that I locked it what
You: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmagic??
Snas: maybe
Snas: well snas wants his laptop back
You: Bye then
You: I'll see you on tour :D
Snas: dude
Snas: DID YOU REALLY THINK I WAS GOING TO GIVE IT TO HIM
You: HAHAHAH
Snas: HA
Snas: okok hes making those noises again ill go ill go
You: Okki
You: Bye then :D
Snas: IM BACK
Snas: welp i just spent time cleaning my closet
You: how did you even get out of that thing
Snas: magic?
You: coolio
Snas: I'm tired now btw
You: u go sleep then
You: btw
You: HI TIRED
You: HAHAH
You: HAHAH
You: u online
You: did you literally fell asleep on me
You: well not on me
You: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN OK
You: OKAY THAT SOUNDED EVEN MORE WRONG
You: shit
You: what even is life
You: WELL SLEEP TIGHT BONEBOY DONT LET THE BEDBUGS BITE
You: TOMORROW SAME TIME?
You: snas; OKAY
You: WOW OKAY
You: BYE
You: snas: omg bye Ily so much alex <3
You: AH BYE
Chapter End Notes
     If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
     Follow me on social media!
     Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel
     Instagram: @Esmeemotional
     Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies
***** Protect the precious *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
You: AYEYY HELLO FRIEND
Snas: HELLO THERE
You: GUESS WHAT
Snas: WELL WHAT
You: 16 DAYS
Snas: YES
You: Also gguess what
Snas: well what
You: I got fired :D
You: ugh
You: Well I can live from my savings for a while I guess
Snas: sucks
Snas: Get a job you actually want to do this time
You: ok dad
Snas: please don't do that
Snas: btw I had a free day today
Snas: and I looked into the music you said you were into
You: did you like it
Snas: nope
Snas: I LOVED IT DKSJF:kl
Snas: LIKE TWENTY ONE PILOTS IS MY SHIT
You: YES SAME WHATS YOUR FAVORITE SONG
Snas: I DONT KNOW
Snas: I LIKE GONER
You: SAME
You: so how has your day been
Snas: Well kinda busy actually
You: How come
Snas: Well undyne and alphys are staying over to watch anime with pap and I so
yay
Snas: I'm actually in the living room rn I'm proud of myself
You: Nice :D
You: wow you're actually socializing?
Snas: I'm still on my laptop though
You: lol
Snas: nahw papyrus is in a sleeping bag
You: NAHW
Snas: everyone is in a sleeping bag and my eyes
You: even you?
Snas: yep
You: I'm just imagining a skeleton in a sleeping bag with his laptop and my
soul I'm crying
Snas: ha
Snas: Undyne says hi
You: Alex says hi to them all
Snas: Papyrus says hi too
Snas: Papyrus says he's looking forward to the tour and meeting you
You: nice
Snas: Alphys says she wants to watch anime with you when the tour is there
You: WeLl I wAnT tO wAtCh AnImE w U 2
Snas: Aye
Snas: They are watching some weird tentacle anime
Snas: should I protect pap's eyes
You: THE PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL NEEDS TO GROW UP
Snas: *plays free willy theme*
You: WOW WELL IM CRYING AGAIN
Snas: you cry rather fast then
You: THAT WAS JUST A REALLY EMOTIONAL MOVIE OK
Snas: ok
You: Maybe ok can be our always
Snas: ok
You: ok
Snas: *cries like some Japanese schoolgirl*
You: lol same
Snas: you need to do something to fit in
You: well what if I don't want to fit in
You: WHAT THEN
You: ???????????//
Snas: well ur cool
Snas: OH SHIT WAIT IS THIS HENTAI
You: SCREW THE PLAN PROTECT PAP
Snas: AAA
You: dhaklsjfak;lsj
Snas: he'S LITTERALLY HIDING IN HIS SLEEPING BAG HAHA
You: NAHWW
Snas: HAH AHAHHAHA
Snas: UNDYNE AND ALPHYS ARE MAKING OUT WHAT IS THIS MADNESS
You: ahw and you are just chatting with some weird girl on the internet <33
Snas: ikr
You: ALSO
You: U FELL ASLEEP YESTERDAY
Snas: OH YESH
Snas: I WANTED TO APOLOGISE FOR THAT BTW
You: NAH MN WE'RE COOL
Snas: I'm cooler though
You: shit ur right
Snas: hah
You: *insert cool pun*
Snas: well it's ice to meet you
You: *insert depression*
Snas: 1 - 100 real quick
Snas: ha
You: SO HOW ARE YOU
Snas: IM FINe I SUPPOSE
You: NICE
Snas: YOU?
You: WELL IM JUST THE SAME SAD BEAN THE NIGHTMARES ARE GETTING WORSE
Snas: well that sucks
You: yup
You: like
You: people say like
You: think about happy stuff
Snas: BUT THAT DOESNT FUCKING WORK
You: YES
Snas: I can relate so much to you???????
You: ikr???
Snas: I Actually didn't get a nightmare :D:D:D:D:D:
You: NICE WHAT WAS UR DREAM ABOUT
Snas: UH wAIT
Snas: I'm doing this dream diary thing
Snas; oh yes
Snas: I dreamed about the tour yay
You: COOL
You: WHAT WAS IT LIKE
Snas: Well
Snas: uh
Snas: fun
You: *applause intensifies*
Snas: REALLY THOUGH I HAD FUN
Snas: YOU WERE IN MY DREAM BTW
You: wow what did I look like
Snas: uh like yourself?
You: ha but you havent even seen me what is this madness
Snas: I MIGHT HAVE STALKED YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA HA
You: WHAT
Snas: JK JK I Don't eVEN KNOW YOUR FULL NAME
You: YES OKAY
You: IM ALEXANDRA PARKER BTW
You: SHIT
Snas: nice name
Snas: I'm very font of that name
Snas: (u get it because my name is a font haha)
You: ha
You: are you ever going to change your nickname though this is not
aesthetically pleasing
[ Snas changed their name to SanS ]
SanS: ha
You: this is also not right.
SanS: no that's because its SanS
[ SanS changed their name to Sansyboy69 ]
You: kill me now
Sansyboy69: 16 days
You: nice
Sansyboy69: wow the episode has ended
Sansyboy69: why was there a hentai scene
You: WE MUST PROTECT THE PRECIOUS
Sansyboy69: IKR
You: ha
Sansyboy69: undyne asks what your favorite type of anime is btw
You: oh definitely hentai
Sansyboy69: ur joking right
You: no of course not Sansyboy69
Sansyboy69: ah ok
Sansyboy69: undyne is laughing
You: I'm crying
Sansyboy69: welp
You: brb gonna hide my crippling depression real quick
Sansyboy69: same same
You: wow I'm tired
Sansyboy69: HI IM SANS
You: kms kms kms
You: .......
Sansyboy69: *free willy theme plays*
You: .............
Sansyboy69: "life is hard, but my penis is harder."
You: YOU KNOW WHAT IM JUST GONNA GO NOW
Sansyboy69: HAHAHAHHAHA
You: HA
You: HAHA
You: BYE TOMOORROW SAME TIME
Sansyboy69: YES OK
You: BTW HOW DO YOU HAVE A PENIS
Sansyboy69: MAGIC
You: what
You: I'm like pretty confused rn
Sansyboy69: 16 days ;)))))))))))))))
You: hhhhhMmHYh,h,
Chapter End Notes
     If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
     Follow me on social media!
     Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel
     Instagram: @Esmeemotional
     Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies
***** Darling~ ;) *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Sansyboy69: HEIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
You: *cringe*
Sansyboy69: OH WHAT
You: Sansyboy69
Sansyboy69: oh yes right hold on
[ Sansyboy69 changed their name to Sans ]
You: YES HELLO
You: THIS IS WAY BETTER
Sans: ikr
Sans: 15 DAYS THOUGH WHAT
You: also
You: I was thinking about something
Sans: wow wait can you think
You: Yes, because I have brains instead of SOMEONE in this chat
Sans: wow rude
You: jk still love you <3
You: BUT WHAT I WAS THINKING
You: I was like drifting asleep and suddenly I thought of something
Sans: Well alex, what might that magical thing be
You: AND I THOUGHT OF THAT THING AND I WAS AWAKE
You: the thing was
You: like you said you were going to run a restaurant, but THAT MEANS YOU CAN
COOK RIGHT
Sans: that was the thing
You: yes
Sans: lame
Sans: but yes I can cook
Sans: pap's helping me out tho
You: spaghetti for everyone?
Sans: basically yes
You: Nice
You: 15 days I cant
Sans: IKR
Sans: like what
Sans: this is the 10th day we talk applause us
You: wow yes
You: it feels like I've known you longer though
Sans: coolio
Sans: Same but i'll explain later????????????????????
You: what
You: HAS IT TO SOMETHING WITH MAGIC
Sans: yes and no
Sans: 15 days ok
You: okok
You: DAMMIT I WANNA KNOW
Sans: Its complicated
Sans: like really complicated
Sans: but okay
You: okay I can wait
You: or not
You: ANYWAY HOW WAS YOUR DAY
Sans: it was nice
Sans: I sold hot dogs yay
You: what is another word for a cold dog
Sans: ?
You: a pupsicle
Sans: jaskld;fjk
Sans: THAT WAS FUCKING GLORIOUS HAHA
Sans: also alphys and undyne might be invading my house again because they know
when I chat with u and they wanna talk to you ha
You: oh I don't mind tho
Sans: k cool
Sans: How was your day
You: well I spend my day looking for a job
You: havent found one yet though
Sans: welp
Sans: fun
You: ugh I just want ice cream
Sans: SAME WE ARE OUT OF ICE CREAM
You: uhghghghghhghghghghhghh
Sans: ha
You: I want entertainment
You: entertain me
Sans: okok
Sans: How did michelle fall off the swing
You: dunno
Sans: she hadn't have any arms
You: ....
Sans: knock knock
You: who's there
Sans: not michelle
You: ........
You: HAHA
Sans: ha
Sans: wait pap wants to talk to you.. that ok?
You: yeah sure
Sans: NYEH HEH HEH HELLO HUMAN BEHIND THE COMPUTER
Sans: IT IS I
Sans: THE GREAT PAPYRUS
You: Heya pap
Sans: HELLO THERE HUMAN FRIEND ALEX
You: hi
You: so how was your day?
Sans: IT WAS GREAT, THANKS FOR ASKING
You: nice
Sans: IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG ALEX?
You: meh just had a rough day
You: no biggie
Sans: NYEH YOU DESERVE A HUG
Sans: DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING NEARBY YOU CAN HUG
You: nope
You: well a pillow
Sans: HUG THE PILLOW
Sans: AND DRINK SOME TEA
You: thanks pap :)
Sans: NO PROBLEMO :D
Sans: YOU WILL GET A HUG IN 15 DAYS!
You: Yay :D
Sans: I AM GOING TO HELP SANS WITH THE RESTAURANT
You: Yeah I heard that :D Seems fun!
You: I will taste your spaghetti for sure
Sans: NYEH HEH YES
You: I'm going to make tea brb
Sans: OKAY
Sans: WAIT ALEX
Sans: WHAT DOES BRB MEAN
Sans: ALEX????
Sans: FRIEND?
Sans: I ASKED SANS AND HE LAUGHED
Sans: WHAT
Sans: ALEX IM WORRIED
Sans: ??????????
You: PAP CALM
You: BRB MEANS Be Right Back
Sans: OH
Sans: OH I GET WHY SANS WAS LAUGHING SO HARD WHEN I ASKED HIM THAT
You: Haha
You: I WANT IT TO BE 15 DAYS ALREADY
Sans: ME TOO
You: AAA
You: ksaj;klajsj
Sans: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT
You: Yes ofcourse I am lol
Sans: OH WELL OKAY THEN
Sans: SANS FELL ASLEEP ON ME
Sans: HAHA
You: what
Sans: OH SANS WAS WATCHING US TYPE MESSAGES TO EACH OTHER
You: fun
Sans: AND NoW HE IS ASLEEP
Sans: THAT LAZYBONES
You: Yeah.. he's such a numbskull ;))))))
Sans: NYAAAAAAAGGGHH
Sans: I SEE WHAT SANS LIKES ABOUT YOU NOW
You: what
Sans: ?
You: nah just leave it np
Sans: WELL OKAY
Sans: I'LL GET TO THE CHOUCH AND LAY SANS IN HIS BED
Sans: BRB
Sans: (be right back)
You: okki
Sans: HERE I AM AGAIN
Sans: METTATON IS HERE AS WELL
You: Oh hi mt :D
You: Didn't know you were there actually
Sans: OH METTATON ASKED IF HE COULD TYPE
Sans: BUT OF COURSE METTATON
Sans: I WILL BE READING SO DONT HESITATE TO SPEAK TO ME OKAY ALEX
You: OKi
Sans: Hello Darling
You: Hi
You: How are you :d
Sans: Oh I'm fine ;)
Sans: How about you?
Sans: Wait I see pick up lines
Sans: AND HEARTS
Sans: ALEX
You: SHH
Sans: ARE YOU SANS' GIRLFRIEND?
You: NO
Sans: YES YOU ARE!
You: last time I checked I wasn't
Sans: hmm
Sans: Well sans seems to talk a lot about you though
You: oh what
You: what did he say bout me?
Sans: Oh only the good stuff ;)
You: well then
You: lol I have this friend and she would be out of her mind if she knew I was
chatting with you
Sans: You aren't though?
Sans: Because
Sans: Everyone goes out of their minds for me ;))
You: a little
Sans: THATS ENOUGH FOR NOW THEN
Sans: let me ask you
Sans: Would you smooch a ghost? ;))
You: what
You: uh
You: depends
Sans: GOOD ENOUGH
Sans: Listen darling, Papy and I have to go. We have a dinner date planned
You: oh okki
You: np
Sans: NYEH IM HERE AGAIN
You: Can you say to sans something from me?
Sans: OF COURSE
You: Okay can you say
You: Tomorrow same time
Sans: OF COURSE
Sans: I WILL WRITE IT DOWN ON A NOTE PAD AND STICK IT ON HIS LAPTOP
You: Sure that's smart
You: :D
You: Have fun on your date :)
Sans: THANK YOU
You: Bye!
Sans: BYE FRIEND
Chapter End Notes
     If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
     Follow me on social media!
     Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel
     Instagram: @Esmeemotional
     Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies
***** Questionable Winking *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
You: GOD NEVER DO THAT AGAIN
Sans: what
You: YOU LEFT ME ALONE WITH METTATON
Sans: OH HAHA YES I SAW
You: HE WAS DOING REALLY INNAPROPERIATE WINKS
You: LIKE
You: YOU DO IT IRONICALLY
Sans: oh do I ;)
You: yes you do
Sans: oh darling! *leg* ;)))))
You: that was basically the convo
You: really I can't
Sans: btw
Sans: 14 DAYS SJKDLFJ:SDKL
You: blubhijklj
Sans: fun
Sans: TWO MORE WEEKS
You: YES
Sans: AAAAAAAAa
You: KJS:KLFDJ:SLDJ:
Sans: what is life
You: dunno
Sans: inappropriate winking
You: ;)
Sans: Anything cool happened today?
You: More job hunting and Jess came over again yay
You: Jess and I went to the store and got two tubs of ice cream and went to her
house to watch some series
You: I'm at her house now btw
Sans: coolio
You: anything happened at yours?
Sans: Yes actually
Sans: Pap, Mtt, undyne, alphys and I went to a camper store and brought 3
campers
Sans: Well actually mtt brought them for us lol
You: Ha nice
Sans: Pap and Mt are gonna sleep in one, Al and undyne in one so I've got mine
for me alone :D
You: lucky
Sans: I suppose so
Sans: dunno
Sans: I want a napbuddy too
You: ha foreveralone squad unite
Sans: *unites*
You: lolol
You: Oh btw Jess wanted to talk to you?
Sans: okki pass the laptop then
You: Heyo Sansyboy
You: its Jess
Sans: Heya
Sans: also
Sans: sansyboy?
You: yes
Sans: well I should call you skeleton girl with fleshy armor then
You: whatever
You: BY THE WAY
You: are you two dating or not
You: like
You: I'm so confused
Sans: nope we aren't
You: well I ship Alesans
You: or Sansex
You: omg sansex that's great
You: sansex it is
Sans: pls
You: HAHA ALEX IS LAUGHING AT THE SHIPNAME
Sans: HAHAh
You: But ARE you Together OR NOT
Sans: WE ARENT
Sans: WE ARE FRIENDS
Sans: F R I E N D S
You: HA HA HA
You: YES SURE
You: TELL YOURSELF THAT
Sans: I am
You: GOOD
You: I ship you two so much tho
You: like shit
Sans: what if you are alex and there is no jess
You: oh shit you got me
You: joking I'm jess
Sans: OKay then
You: Wow so I had this thought
Sans: oh god
You: Like, when you die, your brain will work for 7 minutes after your death.
So maybe we are all just reliving memories
Sans: that's depressing
You: ha
You: well I give you alex again
You: BYE
Sans: BYE
You: THE FLESH GIRL HAS RETURNED
Sans: HELLO THERE
You: by the way
You: whats your favorite color
Sans: dunno
Sans: cyan I think?
Sans: yours?
You: Uh
You: uhhhhhhhhhh
You: Green?
Sans: nice nice
Sans: why did you ask though
You: well
You: I know very little about you actually
You: like I know your friends and stuff
You: okay wait I know things about you
You: ha false alarm
Sans: We can do like a ten questions thing?
You: sure
You: I'll start
You: What is your best childhood memory?
Sans: uh.. well that will be when Pap and I went to waterfall and we went
swimming. We had a huge snowball fight after and it was fun
You: nice
Sans: OKAY
Sans: What's your most embarrassing moment in life
You: well my whole life is one big embarrassment
You: but
You: uh
Sans: lol
You: I THINK WHEN I WAS AT PROM AND I spilled punch over myself and everyone
could see my underwear
Sans: HAHA
You: IM OVER IT IM OVER IT
Sans: keep telling yourself that
You: tch keep telling yourself that you don't love me
Sans: I will
You: Do you care about your appearance?
Sans: Well I did a while back, to get accepted into society. Turns out no
monster got accepted, so I didn't really care and went back to my usual attire
You: deep
Sans: Do you heave freckles?
You: only in summer
Sans: nice
You: What's your favorite food?
Sans: I guess a hotdog? (if ketchup is food it's ketchup)
You: u can have my hot dog ;)))))))))))))))))0000
Sans: what do you call Alex when she's a dog
Sans: a hot dog haha okay on with the questions
Sans: Would you ever pose naked for a magazine?
You: uh
You: no
You: Are you afraid of heights?
Sans: nope
You: cool cool
You: then you aren't afraid of my penis
Sans: since when did girls have a penis
You: not
Sans: ok
Sans: Do you have any pets?
You: I had a cat but he died a while ago
Sans: cri
You: Hamburgers or cheeseburgers?
Sans: dunno I like em both
Sans: Do you dye your hair?
You: Nope. I did once in high school though.
Sans: What color?
You: Like snow white. It looked coolio
Sans: Nice
You: Favorite TV show?
Sans: uh
Sans: Probably Stranger things at the moment
Sans: WOW THE LAST QUESTION
Sans: OKAY
Sans: Name one thing most people probably don't know about you
You: (that's not a question try again)
Sans: Can you name one thing most people probably don't know about you, and
why?
Sans: :)
You: Well
You: uh
You: I sometimes talk to myself when I'm all alone?
You: wow that sounds creepy
Sans: lolol
Sans: like you're the narrator of your own life
You: deep but yes
You: lolol
You: JESS FELL ASLEEP ON ME AGAIN
Sans: You go sleep too
Sans: its 5 am at yours aklsjdk
You: okay dad jeez
Sans: Calm down
You: ITS NOT A PHASE I CAN NOT CALM DOWN
Sans: same same
You: WELL BYE
Sans: SAME TIME TOMORROW?
You: YES
Sans: OKAY BYE
Chapter End Notes
     If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
     Follow me on social media!
     Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel
     Instagram: @Esmeemotional
     Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies
***** $an$master *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Sans: Heya
You: hai der
Sans: guess who it is
You: snas
Sans: WRONG
Sans: its
[ Sans changed their name to $an$ ]
You: wow well that's creative
$an$: Ikr
You: so what did you do today
$an$: NOTHING
$an$: I loved my day
$an$: Like I just lay in my bed the whole day with my laptop
You: if you keep going this way you will soon be married to that laptop
You: same goes for me though
You: lmao
$an$: ha
$an$: I started watching the walking dead and its fucking me up already
$an$: Like compared to shows in the underground this is heaven
$an$: Seriously the content in the underground was trash
You: how come?
$an$: Well
$an$: Everything was MTT
You: wow rough
$an$: IKr
$an$: AND HERE WE HAVE COOL HORROR SPOOKY MOVIES
You: IKR
You: I have a confession to make though
$an$: are you finally gonna confess your love for me?
You: yes ofcourse
You: no but really
You: I have never watched a mtt movie
$an$: OH DARLING SHAME ON YOU
$an$: METTATONS MOVIES ARE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL DARLING
You: just like me
You: ;))))))))))))))))))
$an$: hon hon
You: what
$an$: that's how French guys laugh
You: nice
$an$: wow wait
$an$: its 13 days
$an$: 13 is an unlucky number
You: wow hsit dude
You: shit*
You: fuck
$an$: me
$an$: jk jk jkj kjjkjkjkjjjkjkjk
$an$: theres bound to be something happening bad though
You: I hop;e not
You: ugh aksldjlk
$an$: I want tea
You: wow so posh!!1!
$an$: have you SEEN my nickname
You: yes such posh
$an$: Be right back mate, I am going to fetch a cup of black tea for myself
You: okko
You: I'm just gonna drop some pickuplines
You: maybe you can help me.. I forgot the password for this account and when I
hit 'password hint' it says 'Sans' number' help me out?
You: Was your father a thief? because someone stole the stars from the sky and
put them in your eyes
You: wait sans
You: u der
$an$: I AM AGAIN
$an$: those pick up lines are on point though
You: OKAY SO
You: have I already told you I'm writing a book?
$an$: Don't think so
$an$: Whats it about?
You: Well its a phone book.
You: but the only thing that is missing is your number
You: ;))))
$an$: smooth
$an$: like really smooth
$an$: I must be a banana because I find you appealing
You: a pun and a pickupline
You: in one
You: you beat me
You: I give up
You: there is no hope left
$an$: ha
$an$: I'm not a photographer
$an$: But I can picture us together
You: I HAVE ALREADY GIVEN UP DONT TORTURE ME LIKE THIS
You: also good one
$an$: ikr
$an$: Anything good happened at yours?
You: ugh nope
You: my mother called me
You: I hung up immediately
$an$: How come?
You: okay well my dad abused me because my brother died from a heart attack. My
mother just ignored it so I'm still pretty pissed
You: I still have nightmares about him though
$an$: damn
You: yeah..
You: I ran away from home when my dad was drunk and grabbing a knife
You: so yea
You: And I met jess on the street while being a homeless person. She took me in
and we became best friends.
$an$: again. Damn
$an$: Jess is a good kid though
$an$: Jess is love
You: don't make that reference don't don't
$an$: Jess is life
You: well I'm going to be all ogre you tonight
$an$: you made a shrek pun
$an$: and pick up line
$an$: you get the pick up line crown again
$an$: knock knock
You: whos there
$an$: Shrek 4
You: Shrek 4 who
$an$: I shrek 4 u
You: tha twas just terrible
$an$: I know
You: well I'm sure I'm head ogre the heels for you
You: hahah ;d;d;d;d;d;d0
$an$: *slams keyboard angrily*
You: *bows*
You: btw
You: I find you shrexy
$an$: AHHA
$an$: PAPYRUS ASKED IF I WAS CHATTING WITH YOU AGAIN
$an$: WHEN I MAKE Distressed NOISES HE KNOwS ITS YOU HA
You: HAHA
$an$: I will definitely make my donkey fall in love with your dragon
ifyouknowwhatimean
You: oh so we're still on the shrek lines
$an$: not anymore
You: wow I realized something
You: wait no
You: lol
$an$: ok
$an$: Papyrus is sitting beside me btw don't make inappropriate pick up lines
You: pap u can oodle my noodle
You: ifyouknowwhatimean
$an$: HUMAN I DONT UNDERSTAND?
$an$: I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN
You: I can make spaghetti
$an$: THAT IS NICE
$an$: I NOW LOVE YOU
$an$: PLATONICALLY
You: I'm gay for you bro
$an$: BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GIRL?
$an$: HAS SANS BEEN MISINFORMING ME THE WHOLE TIME
You: no no I'm a girl
You: ha
$an$: SANS IS LAUGHING I DONT UNDERSTAND
You: I have a knife and a 'sword' and one of you is going inside you tonight
You: ;)
$an$: BUT THAT WOULD HURT ME
You: JK I WOULDNT STAB YOU
$an$: OKAY
$an$: CAN YOU TELL ME WHY SANS IS LAUGHING SO HARD
You: I guess I tickled his funnybone
$an$: ....................
You: Tibia honest, I'm a pretty funny gal
$an$: IM GOING NOW GOODBYE
You: ha
You: bye
You: have a sansational day
$an$: NYEH
You: HAHA
$an$: you were playing a dangerous game there bud
You: ikr
You: he's too pure to understand
You: I love it
$an$: seriously
$an$: a sword
$an$: I cant
You: well Its knife to meet you
$an$: HA
You: are you still in STABle condition
$an$: I died brb
You: nooo
You: rip sansmaster
You: wait why sansmaster
You: rip snasmaster 2k16
You: i have fallen for this man
You: and i cant get up
You: notice me sanspai
$an$: i have noticed you child
$an$: sansmaster
[ $an$ changed their name to Sansmaster ]
Sansmaster: did it
Sansmaster: ha
You: nice nice
Sansmaster: undyne just came over and is cooking with pap and i fear for this
house
You: how come?
Sansmaster: She literally burned her house 4 times in the underground
You: great cook
Sansmaster: WAIT I SMELL BURNING PASTA
Sansmaster: GTG
Sansmaster: TOMORROW SAME TIME?
You: YES GO CHILD
Sansmaster: BYE I WILL SAVE MY HOUSE NOW
You: BAIS
Chapter End Notes
     If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
     Follow me on social media!
     Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel
     Instagram: @Esmeemotional
     Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies
***** Rad scout stories *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
You: HEYOO
You: are you dead due the fire of yesterday
You: welp rip sansmaster
Sansmaster: HELLo
Sansmaster: IM NOt DEAD
You: NICE
You: also
You: i noticed this is the 13th day we talk wow
Sansmaster: Wowow
Sansmaster: I can feel it there's gonna happen something unlucky
You: well yes
Sansmaster: Anything happened at yours?
You; yeah
You: my mom called me again
You: and i thought i would pick up for once and hear what she would want to say
Sansmaster: and?
You: well turns out it was my dad calling
You: and telling me what screwup i am
You: so yeah my day was great
You: note the sarcasm
Sansmaster: alex you're not a screwup ok
Sansmaster: trust moi
You: ugh i just feel like shit rn
Sansmaster: well you can talk to me
You: thanks
You: i mean like why do i matter
You: I'm just some random girl
Sansmaster: alex stop
Sansmaster: i honestly care a lot about you okay
Sansmaster: and you're not some random girl to me
Sansmaster: so don't think about yourself like that just because your dad says
that about you
You: thanks sans
Sansmaster: don't mention it
You: (I'm probably gonna mention this)
You: anything happened at yours?
You: something that's not incredibly depressing?
Sansmaster: well
Sansmaster: uh i had a nightmare again and I'm running on 1 hour of sleep rn
with a shitload of caffeine in my system
Sansmaster: and Papyrus drunk some coffee
Sansmaster: he kept shouting GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE
You: He swears?
Sansmaster: Well only when needed
You: and he needs to swear when he drinks coffee
Sansmaster: COFFEE IS GOOD SHIT OK
You: IKR
You: let me just order a whip cream caramel iced coffee with extra healthy
powder and milk and sugar and some extra chocolate
You: - not me
Sansmaster: yeah what is up with the weird coffees this day
Sansmaster: i literally have milk and coffee that's it
You: same
You: well i have milk and sugar and coffee
Sansmaster: only hard core people drink it without sugar
You: tch
You: hardcore people drink it without something in it
Sansmaster: well i latte you a lot
You: wow are you espressoing your feelings
Sansmaster: HA I DIDNT SEE THAT ONE COMING
You: what can i say? I've bean busy making up these puns
Sansmaster: if i could shit, i had shitted my pants that was glorious
You: "Wow alex, that pun was great" - you in a more mature universe
Sansmaster: "Wow sans bby ily so much <3" - You in this universe
You: "Stop quoting things" - me rn
Sansmaster: okok shh child
You: what did harry potter say when he robbed starbucks
You: espresso patronum
You: (this is ur cue to laugh)
Sansmaster: what
You: don't tell me you havent seen hp
Sansmaster: *hides*
You: oh my god what is this
You: ALL THIS TIME
You: I WANTED TO SLYTHERIN YOU
You: BUT THEN
You: THE TERROR
Sansmaster: IS IT ON NETFLIX
You: PROBABLY YES
Sansmaster: I'll watch it tonight
You: it are 8 films btw
Sansmaster: idc i want to be able to understand ur jokes
You: nahw
Sansmaster: i have heard alphys talking about it as well
You: is Alphys like the internetlord she knows so much
Sansmaster: yes
Sansmaster: she was the royal scientist in the underground actually
You: Nice
Sansmaster: Undyne was the head of the royal guard
You: cooloio
You: fish lady x lizard dino is still otp
Sansmaster: ikr
You: what was your occupation in the underground?
Sansmaster: i was a sentry
Sansmaster: Pap as well btw
You: Coolio
Sansmaster: We would go on patrol for humans
Sansmaster: Pap was so dedicated i cant
You: ha
Sansmaster: Wanna hear a story?
You: sure
Sansmaster: So one day, Papyrus decides that he wants to become stronger.
Sansmaster: so the guy heads over to the head of the royal guard her house and
knocks. She opens and Pap asks if she could train him
Sansmaster: Undyne refuses and slams the door.
You: WhAt i thoughT UNDYNE Was Nice???
Sansmaster: She is hold on
Sansmaster: So pap is pretty upset, but stays determined anyway and waits the
whole night in front of the door without sitting down or closing an eye
Sansmaster: So the next day, Undyne wants to get out of her house, and sees Pap
still in front of his door
Sansmaster: She finds it killer that he waited so long, so she decides to train
him
You: nahw
Sansmaster: they eventually switched over to making pasta
Sansmaster: Papyrus is too kind to be in a royal guard. He couldn't ever kill
anyone. He would just become friends with them
You: that's true
Sansmaster: so yeah that's the story how pap got his passion for cooking
You: coolio
Sansmaster: any cool storys?
You: uh
You: yes actually
You: so this happened when i was out with the girl scouts
You: (yes i was a rad scout)1!11!!!!
Sansmaster: ha
You: So there was this mysterious box on the terrain we were staying. And me
and friends wanted to see what was in it.
You: We investigated and saw there was a lock, so we had to sneak into the
teachers room to get the key
You: we had this cool plan that two people would get in a fist fight and that i
would get the teachers. two other kids would sneak in and grab the key
Sansmaster: wow
You: SO THAT SUCCEEDED YAY
You: And we unlock the lock but the door wouldn't open so we found a crowbar
and opened it
You: guess hwat was in it
Sansmaster: uh
Sansmaster: a car
Sansmaster: no wait
Sansmaster: a boat?
You: it was a golfcar
You: that was pretty glorious
You: and we wanted to ride it so we lead the teachers out of the room again and
got the car keys
You: WE SUCCEEDED AND CAME A BIT FAR BUT THE TEACHERS WERE FASTER AND STOPPED
THE CAR
You: so yeah that was my story how i practically stole a golf car
Sansmaster: i guess the speed of that golf car didn't drive a wedge between you
and the teachers
You: HMMMMMMMMMMMM
You: a golf pun
You: *slow claps*
You: i want to rage quit
Sansmaster: also
Sansmaster: 12 days ayeyeyeyeeeeeeeeyeyye
You: yes
Sansmaster: help me I'm slowly becoming trash
You: how
Sansmaster: I'm listening to panic! at the disco again
You: HAHAH
You: what song tho
Sansmaster: Impossible year
Sansmaster: I LIKE THE BAND SO MUCH
You: hHAHAHHahahhH WELCOME IN MY TRASHPILE
Sansmaster: hi
Sansmaster: I like fall out boy and panic! at the disco
Sansmaster: and muse
Sansmaster; I LIKE MUSE SO MUCH THOUGH
You: SAME
You: quite aMUSEing if i may say so
Sansmaster: that was literally the worst pun you could come up with
You: that's why i made it
Sansmaster: sureeeee
Sansmaster: Baby: "ma ma"
Sansmaster: Mother: OH MY GOD HIS FIRST WORD SAY IT
Sansmaster: Baby: ma mam ama madness
Sansmaster: the mother gives a distressed look
You: HAHAHA
You: rip
You: what is life
Sansmaster: idk
Sansmaster: IM GOING TO WATCH HARRY POTTER NOW
Sansmaster: whats the first movie htough
You: HP and the philosopher stone
You: its glorious
You: watch it boneboy
Sans: OKAY BYE SKELETON GIRL IN FLESHY ARMOR
You: BYE skeleton dude
Sans: BYE FLESHGIRL
Chapter End Notes
     If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
     Follow me on social media!
     Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel
     Instagram: @Esmeemotional
     Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies
***** Would you rather binge movies *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Sans: NYEH HEH HEH
Sans: I WENT ON SANS' COMPUTER HELLO HUMAN
You: Heyo :D
You: How are you?
Sans: IM FINE THANK YOU
Sans: HOW ARE YOU?
Sans: HAVE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY?
You: I guess yes
You: how bout you?
Sans: OH YOU KNOW I SPENT THE DAY IMPOSING As my younger brother
Sans: ha u fell for it
You: what
Sans: I'm boneboy hi
You: ha what
You: oh wait
You: OOOOOHHHaHohOHOHHHH
Sans: yesh
Sans: So hoW WAs YOur DayY?
You: IT WAS FINE
You: IDK Didn't do much
You: just went job hunting again
Sans: and?
You: nothing again
Sans: Sucks
You: u suck yourself
Sans: AND YOU SWALLOW
Sans: *puts on glasses*
Sans: *explosions*
You: I FUCKING SNORTED I DIDNT EXPECT THAT
You: HAHAHAKDFSJ:KLF
Sans: *bows*
You: SO how are you
Sans: meh
Sans: dunno I'm kinda sick I dunno
You: don't go being sick on tour
Sans: ok mom
You: tch
You: how do skeles even get sick
Sans: well
Sans: wait
Sans: okay
Sans: uh well idk I just get sick like humans?
You: well what do you do with sick chemicals
You: I mean, if you can't helium or curium
You: then you barium
Sans: are you suggesting something
You: I just might
Sans: well shit i'll get the shovel
Sans: I just have some kind of virus don't worry i'll just swallow some pills
or something
You: ugh viruses are so fucked up. Like they aren't even alive and their only
purpose in life is to kill.
Sans: I know
Sans: they make me sick
You: l...........................................................
You: ....................................................................
Sans: I know you love me
You: well what if I don't
Sans: then you could barium me
You: shit
You: meh too much work ily
Sans: HEHEHE
Sans: nice
Sans: you're my vertebae now
You: do you say that to all girls who you meet online
Sans: only the cool ones
You: :dddddd
You: lets have a deep conversation
Sans: k
You: If you had to describe the whole human race in 3 words, what would that be
Sans: ok uh
Sans: Human, capableofdoingthings, tits
You: *snorts*
Sans: *applause*
You: 'tits'
Sans: HALF OF THE HUMAN POPULATION IS FEMALE?????
You: shit that's true
Sans: Okay would you rather be able to say 100 words or day or wear oven mitts
for the rest of your life
You: uh
You: 100 words
Sans: why
You: well I don't talk much anyway, and I cant type with oven mitts
You: also its hell with oven nmitts in summer
Sans: true
Sans: I'd do the same
You: Would you rather freeze or burn to death?
Sans: wowuh
Sans: uh
Sans: Burn?
Sans: dunno
You: rip in advance
You: I'm actually a stalker
Sans: ha
Sans: well shit
You: i'd choose freeze bc you'll pass out when you hit a certain point, unlike
the fire
Sans: well fuck
Sans: okay
Sans: Would you rather have sex with your cousin and no one knows, or everyone
thinks you had sex with your cousin, but you didn't
You: oh god uh
You: uh
You: I guess that everyone thinks?
You: I honestly give no shit what people think about me so yay
Sans: nice
You: OKAY
You: HAHAHA
You: Would you rather be a virgin forever or have sex with your brother 2 times
a year
Sans: EW
Sans: EW NO NOT PAP
Sans: I don't wanna destroy pap's innocence, so I choose the virgin option
Sans: ha
You: ur such a good brother
Sans: ikr
Sans: welp
Sans: what now
You: dunno lmao
You: did mtt came over with other weird shirts
Sans: nope
Sans: he did came over though
You: what did he do
Sans: oh he only came to meet his PAPY DEAR OEHHH
You: OOOHH DARLLIINNGNGNGNNNNN
Sans: OOH YESSSSSSSSS
You: SANS SENPAI DARLING YESSSSS
Sans: HAHAHA
You: sanspai
Sans: SANSPAI AND FLESHGIRL MAKING OUT EXPLIT DVD GET IT NOW ITS ONLY 99.99
DOLLAR
You: WOW WHAT
Sans: HAHA WAHT NOTHING
You: OKAY WHAT
You: ha
Sans: 11 DAYS JSKL:DFJ:SL
You: nice change of subject
Sans: ikr I'm so smooth
You: where can I meet you though
You: at the festival I mean
Sans: i'll probably be in the cafeteria
Sans: at the show you will come there will be a cafeteria yay
You: nice
Sans: I bet Pap will be making spaghetti
Sans: he doesn't know anything else than pasta recipes
You: lolol
Sans: And undyne's going to be one of the security guards
Sans: Basically, a lot of people who were in the royal guard, are gonna be
security guards for mtt and the tour
You: nice nice
Sans: OH BY THE WAY
Sans: I began watching harry potter
Sans: I have had no sleep and I was watching the half-blood prince until I saw
It was 7 o'clock so yay
You: dude
You: you have watched that many movies in one sitting
Sans: yes
You: jesus how do you do that
Sans: well
Sans: coffee?
Sans: idk I should sleep lmao
You: YES YOU SHOULD
You: I MEAN LIKE
You: WHAT
Sans: same same
Sans: i'll go sleep
Sans: only 11 days before I'll slytherin you
You: that was the worst joke I've ever heard sleep affects your jokes
Sans: I guess
Sans: I'll sleep
You: ok ok ok
Sans: yas
You: OKAY BYE AND SLEEP WELL BONEBOY
Sans: BYE FLESHGIRL
You: Tomorrow same time?
Sans: do you really have to ask?
Chapter End Notes
     If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
     Follow me on social media!
     Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel
     Instagram: @Esmeemotional
     Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies
***** How to Random facts 101 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
You: HEY BABE
Sans: HeIHAHIY
Sans: HOW R U
You: FINE I ATE ICE CREAM
You: HOW ARE YOU
Sans: well fun that you asked
Sans: I'm like having a mental breakdown rn don't mind me here
You: how come?
Sans: I
Sans: finished
Sans: harry potter
You: I FEEL YOU
Sans: LIKE IM LITTERALLY CRYING AS I TYPE THIS
Sans: IM EMPTY INSIDE
You: well you are a skeleton...
Sans: THIS IS NOT HELPING
You: Okay imma give you my breakdown 101
You: first: drink some tea
Sans: Okay i'll grab some hol on
You: second, wrap yourself in a thick blanket
You: third, cry
Sans: IM BACK
Sans: well I'm going to wrap myself in a blanket
Sans: and cry
Sans: ha
You: I feel you
Sans: I feel me too
Sans: SERIOUSLY IT WAS SO GOOD
You: IKR
You: I'm always getting so emotional over hp like shit
Sans: same
You: wait
You: do you ship Draco x Harry
Sans: I guess?
Sans: idk
You: its a beautiful ship
Sans: well now that I think about it
Sans: it is
Sans: fuck
You: ikr
You: ha
You: anyway, did you do anything else then watching movies today?
Sans: well
Sans: I started packing stuff
You: wow wait you are productive?
Sans: IKR??
Sans: I only packed the Christmas stuff tho
You: what
Sans: like
Sans: when it's Christmas, I can make my camper all christmasy
You: nice
Sans: with like a shit ton of lights
You: a skeleton
You: a mettaton
Sans: kms
Sans: ha
You: how to suffer 101
Sans: what did you do all day
Sans: hmmmmmmmmmmmm????????????
You: guess hwat
Sans: job hunting??
You: nope
You: I gave up
You: for now then
Sans: you could do a webshop?
Sans: idk
Sans: YES WAIT
Sans: START A YOUTUBECHANNEL
You: hmmmmmmmmm
You: idk
Sans: Well it's your choice
You: idk I would only do youtube for the sake of money and not for the sake of
enjoying it then
You: hm
You: meh
You: i'll think about it
Sans: yas
You: no but idk I didn't do much I just lay on the ground the whole day
Sans: wow seems like you had a fun day
You: ikr
You: I also decided to browse dark questions haha kill me
Sans: ask me some dark questions
You: oko ok ok
You: What if how you are now feeling, you will feel the rest of your life?
Sans: well fuck
Sans: I'm honestly in the middle of a mental breakdown so yay
You: when I read that I was bored and crying so ha
You: OKAY DEPRESSING QUESTION #2
You: btw I'm fighting ur mental breakdown
You: fight fire with fire right
You: When did you stop trying?
Sans: well
Sans: ...
You: you don't have to answer though
Sans: nah I'm fine
Sans: Well I told you about the resets right
You: yeah like a couple of days back
Sans: Well
Sans: what would you do when you are living just a plain and happy life?
Sans: and then suddenly, you are back a few weeks in time
Sans: first you are confused
Sans: Then you come at that point again, All the monsters are freed
Sans: zap. Back in time again
Sans: that circle goes on and on
Sans: You give up trying at some point.
Sans: nothing makes any difference anyway
You: wow
You: Jesus
You: you went trough all that?
Sans: yup
Sans: frisk was the one who reset.
Sans: but they promised me not to reset anymore
Sans: so yes
You: Nice
You: Damn
You: I honestly could not imagine how it is to be in that circle
Sans: The worst part, No one remembers the resets but me and frisk
Sans: so yeah that's fun lets talk about something else
You: yeah ok
Sans: ha I'm crying again
You: IM SORRY
You: ILL TELL YOU SOME A+ PICK UP LINES HOLD ON
You: you have beautiful eyes
Sans: (I don't have eyes but thanks)
You: well fuck uh
You: EYE SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE
Sans: HA
You: If I could change the alphabet then I'd put U and I together
Sans: honestly what did you search on google to tell thes epick up lines
You: I literally typed 'the saddest pick up lines'
You: did it work though
Sans: yes
Sans: I'm so seduced rn you wouldn't believe it
You: is ur dad a baker
You: because you got some nice buns
You: wait you're a skeleton
You: I'm trying too hard
Sans: yes you are
You: how to seduce a skeleton 101
Sans: idk
Sans: ha
Sans: I'm gonna get more tea
You: ok
You: did you know that giraffes don't have vocal communication but they
communicate with their tail
You: I'm dropping some more animal facts hold on
You: Apes go bald as men do
You: Wombats have cube shaped poop
You: Horses can't vomit
You: A mole can dig 300 miles in one night
Sans: IM BACK
Sans: and I have animal facts now aye
You: ikr
You: did you know that the human skeleton has 206 bones but some grew together
and you originally had 300 at birth
Sans: I didn't actually
Sans: thanks for this interesting fact
You: OH BTW
Sans: ????????
You: YOU RUINED OUR ALWAYS YESTERDAY
Sans: HAHA
Sans: you mean like the same tim ething?
You: YES
You: LIKE
You: CAN OUR ALWAYS BE SAME TIME??
You: OR SOMETHIGN IDK
Sans: OK
Sans: shit I broke our always
Sans: I was just trying to be cool
You: we all make mistakes
Sans: HAHAH
You: did you btw know if a rib is removed it can grow back in 3 months
Sans: WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME FACTS
You: BECAUSE THATS FUN
You: AND I WANTED TO CHEER YOU UP
Sans: THANKS :D
You: So how are the others doing?
Sans: Oh they're fine
Sans: I've got the house for me alone today
Sans: Pap's staying over with undyne and al
You: UGH I WANT TO MEET YOU AND THEM SO BAD LIKE JSDK:FLJ:
You: 10 DAYS
You: TOMORROW 9
You: ITS COMING SO CLOSE I CANT
Sans: SAME
Sans: SLKDJF
You: HA
You: RIP I LAMOST FELL ASLEEP WHAT IS THIS
Sans: well yes browsing animal facts and pick up lines tires you out quite a
bit
You: ikr
You: like
You: what
You: btw are you still sick
Sans: I'm only sick as in cool
Sans: nah I'm okay now
Sans: idk it was like a 1 day thing
You: SHIT I JUST REALISED
You: I MISSED A GREAT OPPOTUNITY FOR A PUN YESTERDAY
Sans: WHERE
You: well you caught a femur yesterday
You: HA IM SO FUNNY
Sans: HA
You: did you btw know that half of your bones is in your hands and feet
You: and that your face has 14 bones in it
You: I'm honestly just picking these facts out of google ha
You: its literally an image in comic sans
Sans: wow
Sans: ANYWAY
Sans: GO SLEEP
Sans: ITS LIIKE
Sans: 6 PM HERE
Sans: ITS LATE FOR YOU
Sans: SLEEP CHILD
You: OKOK
Sans: WELL
Sans: Tomorrow same time?
Sans: (see how I did that)
You: DO YOU REALLY AHVE TO ASK HAHA
You: HA I DID IT HA
You: HAHA
You: HA
You: WAIT I MADE A TYPO FUCK
Sans: HA
Sans: ANYWAY
You: YES ILL GO SLEEP BYE CHILD
Chapter End Notes
     If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
     Follow me on social media!
     Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel
     Instagram: @Esmeemotional
     Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies
***** Alex, the pile of embarrassment *****
You: HEYOO
Sans: HEY FLESHGIRL
You: are you going to keep calling me that
Sans: probably, yes
You: okok
You: i'll think of a disturbing nickname for you too then
Sans: okay
Sans: So how are ya?
You: Oh I'm good :D
You: I went out with Jess and a couple of others
You: idk most of their names though. I'm not that social
Sans: I can relate
Sans: it's always like you have 1 or 2 good friends and the rest are people you
socialize with
You: yup
You: so how are you?
Sans: oh good
Sans: and tired
You: how come?
Sans: well
Sans: I packed a lot of stuff today
Sans: we're actually leaving tomorrow
You: u serious?
Sans: Yup
Sans: We'll drive a heck of a lot tomorrow and stop to give a show
Sans: then 1 day packing and then driving and then show
Sans: its basically 3 days moving and show giving each town
You: Welp
You: Wait do you have wifi there
Sans: YES
Sans: the camper has wifi
You: YES
Sans: IKR
Sans: IM SO EXCITED
You: SAME
You: 9 DAYS JKSLFJ:LSKJD
Sans: literally my whole room but the laptop and bed aren't packed lol
Sans: I'm sleeping in a sleeping bag rn ha
You: ha
You: how big is that camper even
Sans: well it's a two persons
Sans: and I'm with 1 so yay
You: Cool
Sans: the camper is pretty fucking luxe too
Sans: like its so big and white and black and I cant
Sans: IM EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS
You: HAH
You: You have to do like Christmas lights on the ceiling
Sans: YEs
Sans: JSKLDFJ:
Sans: lol I'm going to live in a camper for 5 months
Sans: I hope the bed is comfortable though
You: m sure it will
Sans: kla;jsdkl
Sans: 9 days I cant
You: sama same
Sans: best part about the camper: I didn't have to pay it
You: ha
Sans: Mettaton has like a shit ton of money
You: IM SO EXCITED FOR THE 9 DAYS I CANT JSDKSFKLD
Sans: SHIT WAIT I HEARD A CRASH COMING FROM THE LIVIN ROOM BRB
You: well there goes your tv
You: or vase
You: or something that can crash
Sans: IT'S ALL RIGHT
Sans: PAP JUST DROPPED SOMETHING
You: don't you have to help him
Sans: Nah he said it was all right I talked to you for a bit
You: ahw
You: Seriously, doesn't he need help
Sans: He insisted
Sans: so yay
Sans: tell me an embarrassing child hood story
You: okay
You: uh
You: I have one
You: Okay so one time at school, I was sleeping (how surprising) and my teacher
began to scream at me. I woke up scared and threw a notebook in her face.
Sans: *claps*
You: yes
You: Alex the notebook throwing gal
Sans: Alex the fleshgirl
Sans: any other stories?
You: well since that I'm a pile of embarrassment, I have one
You: Okay so I was at a party with a friend and we decided to go upstairs and
have a burping contest. Luckily, my crush from then was in the room and heard
everything
Sans: ha
You: well he asked me out after so I'm goo
Sans: HAHA
You: haha kill me
Sans: nah
Sans: Hold on pap is calling me
You: ok ok
You: ha
Sans: guess what he asked
You: well what did he ask
Sans: what kind of pasta I wanted to eat
Sans: I could choose a) Spaghetti
Sans: or b) Spaghetti
You: I'd go with c
Sans: He wants to improve his spaghetti cooking skill because he has to cook in
the restaurant
You: Coolio
Sans: ikr
You: So do you have any stories from the underground?
Sans: uh
Sans: A few
You: okay show me human bone system
Sans: human bone system
Sans: ...
You: other word for skele
You: ha
Sans: ha
Sans: SO
Sans: I was at grillby's one time
Sans: grillbys is like a bar where I came often in the undergroun
Sans: And I sat on one of my own woopie cusions and everyone laughed
You: poor you
Sans: ikr
Sans: never guessed pranking myself would become a thing
You: Same
You: I prank myself trough embarrassing actions :DDDD
Sans: hAHAHAhaa:DD:D:D:D:
Sans: We're kinda early today aint we?
You: yeah its like 2 am here
Sans: Its 5 pm here
You: how come we're so early though
Sans: idk I just had time??
Sans: I figured you'd be online
You: yeah I don't do much
You: ha
You: what is life
Sans: wait hold on
You: okki
You: want to know animal facts?
Sans: tomorrow
Sans: Pap called me for dinner
You: Oh Okay
You: we'll talk tomorrow then?
Sans: Definitely
You: (you were supposed to say 'do you really have to ask')
You: (did you forget the always)
Sans: (I did)
You: well shit
Sans: BYE FLESHGIRL
You: BYE HUMAN BONE SYSTEM
***** Making offensive jokes on the road *****
Sans: Heya
Sans: sorry I'm a bit late.. We're still on the road
You: HEY
Sans: HEY FLESHGIRL
You: wait what you are on the road
Sans: well we stopped driving for a bit and we just stopped by a gas station
You: Nice
You: Everything going well?
Sans: Yup
Sans: I've been driving for like 3 hours straight so yeah :D
You: wowow
Sans: I packed the last stuff today and threw it in the camper
Sans: just in time of course because we were meant to go when I packed the last
stuff ha
You: HA
You: nice
Sans: I think I'm gonna get some coffee at the gas station hold on
You: okki
You: DONT GET YOUR LAPTOP STOLEN
Sans: ok mom
You: :D
Sans: oh undyne is here to protect the laptop
You: Go get ur coffee
Sans: okok
Sans: SUP PUNK
You: HEYA
Sans: STILL CHATTING TO THIS SACK OF BONES
You: you bet I am
Sans: HOW MANY DAYS BEFORE MEETING YOU
You: Uh
You: 8 DAYS
You: ksladjkkkkkkk
Sans: NICE
Sans: I'm gonna be a security guard there
You: coolio
Sans: ikr
Sans: Ha
You: So you are gonna live in a camper as well for 5 months?
Sans: YOU BET I AM
Sans: its like owning a really small house
Sans: with a cute otaku
You: nHAWH
You: NAHWHHWHWWWWW
Sans: :33333333333333
You: UGH I CANT WAIT
You: IM SO EXCITED
Sans: SAME
Sans: Tomorrow will be the first show
You: How far do you have to ride for that?
Sans: like 3 more hours
Sans: We'll manage
Sans: I wonder if Sans will though
Sans: I mean Alphys and I can just switch after 1 hour but he has to do it all
on his own
You: well I hope he doesn't die
Sans: same same
Sans: BTW
Sans: Alphys and I were talking about you
You: how come lol
Sans: idk someone just brought it up
Sans: AND WE WERE WONDERING
Sans: WHAT KIND OF ANIME DO YOU LIKE
You: oh god
You: like
You: Adventure and action
You: Also romance and drama
Sans: CoOoL
You: Oh and horror
You: basically everything really
Sans: Nice
Sans: come watch it with us sometime
You: Okki
You: how many days are you gonna be at my place though
Sans: like 3
Sans: We come the first day, set everything up the second day and give a show,
leave the third day
Sans: kinda busy
You: wow
You: That's pretty busy
Sans: Ikr
Sans: idk how we will manage but ok
You: I HOPE YOU SURVIVE
Sans: SAME
Sans: ALSO
Sans: HAVE YOU WATCHED NARUTO
You: Like ages ago
Sans: ITS AWESOME
Sans: Alphys and I are trying to do Jutsu's
You: good luck with that
You: I tried it with my brother once and he broke his finger
Sans: what how
You: well one jutsu was so complicated that he broke his finger in the middle
of it
You: I laughed at first
Sans: HA
You: Ikr
You: Don't you need coffee?
Sans: ew no I don't like coffee
Sans: its so bitter
You: Try throwing sugar and milk in it
Sans: what why
You: well
You: because that makes it sweeter and less bitter
Sans: oh
Sans: oh
Sans: OKAY I'LL TRY
You: nice
You: I literally cant function without coffee
You: lol
Sans: maybe that's because its like 7 am at yours
Sans: wait have you gotten any sleep today
You: nope
You: But I can manage
Sans: oh well
Sans: do what you like I suppose
You: ok
You: How are the others?
Sans: Oh they're doing fine
Sans: everyone is excited for the tour
You: understandable
Sans: Oh your boneboy is back
You: nicu
Sans: WELL SEE YOU ON TOUR PUNK
You: OKAY
You: BYE FISH LADY
Sans: BYE
Sans: HERE I AM AGAIN
You: YAS
You: I convinced undyne to drink coffee
Sans: pal
Sans: dude
Sans: A-Slice
Sans: have you got any idea how energetic undyne normally is
You: no
Sans: Well obviously not
Sans: AH
Sans: HA
Sans: I wonder what she's like on coffee
You: same
You: ha
You: what is life it's already light outside
Sans: wow
Sans: It's 7 pm here help
Sans: I'm hungry though
You: HI HUNGRY IM ALEX
You: (ha)
Sans: making dad jokes
You: yes
You: what are you gonna do about it
You: I'm a rebel now
Sans: sure you are
You: I'm gonna join a gang
Sans: wow you sure are badass
You: ikr
You: I'm like the baddest of asses
Sans: yes you are
Sans: hmmmmmm
Sans: I wanna sleep
Sans: ugh
You: rip
Sans: I STILL HAVE 3 MORE HOURS TO RIDE KILL ME NOW
You: Nahw
You: I hope u don't die
Sans: same
Sans: ugh
Sans: I JUST WANT FOOD AND SLEEP
You: don't sleep and drive
You: ha
You: hey sansy
Sans: yes alexy
You: wanna hear a joke about paper
Sans: well
Sans: yes
You: nvm it's tearable
Sans: .........
You: what do you call a girl without legs
Sans: I DONT KNOW what do you call a girl without legs
You: disabled
Sans: HAHAHAH
Sans: the timing was perfect
You: haAHA
Sans: why cant orphans play baseball
You: hmM?
Sans: they don't know where the home is
You: HAHAH
You: HA
You: HAHA
You: HAAHHHHAH
You: That's so offensive!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!!!!111
Sans: ikr
Sans: that's why its funny
You: true
You: ha
You: I'm gonna grab some more coffee hold on
Sans: shouldn't you just go to bed
Sans: its like 7:30 am there
Sans: GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP CHILD
You: okay okay
You: survive ok
Sans: yes yes
You: aye
You: I can now sleep in peace
Sans: nice
Sans: WELL
Sans: good night <33333
You: You too <3
You: for when you finally get to sleep
You: GET A CAMPERMATE M8
Sans: SLEEP WELL
You: Tomorrow whatever time?
Sans: DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO ASK?
***** The wrath of Jess, Fleshboy and Boybone *****
Sans: HEYA
You: HEiIIiIiIii
You: how is my favorite boneboy doing
Sans: Oh I'm exhausted
Sans: work is draining
Sans: like coffee is my best friend rn
You: How did the show go?
Sans: idk I was in the cafeteria with paps
You: oh well
Sans: we basically made spaghetti for 200 men this night
You: wow
You: well I understand why you're tired
Sans: BUT
Sans: JUST A WEEK
Sans: 7 DAYS YES
You: YES
You: IM SO EXCITED
You: SAKJS:LD
Sans: AAaaA
You: YES
Sans: btw
Sans: how is job hunting going?
You: still nothing
You: Ugh
Sans: sucks
You: I mean like
You: I can do stuff I want money
Sans: 10/10 would hire
You: idk I want to work in a bookshop or something
Sans: how come?
You: Dunno? I like bookshops :D
You: and reading that is
Sans: nice
Sans: I don't really read much
Sans: idk what to read
You: (THERE ARE HARRY POTTER BOOKS)
Sans: IKR
Sans: I should read them
You: heck yes you should
Sans: BRING ME SOME BOOKS
You: THAT IDEA IS NOT TOO BAD ACTUALLLY I WILL
Sans: yay I'm gonna read at tour yayay
You: are you now abandoning your laptop
Sans: probs
You: ;-;
Sans: haah
Sans: Wow did you know btw
Sans: last night when I was on my laptop
Sans: I lost ctrl
You: ...
You: that was really
You: clever
Sans: HA
You: What does a computer do when it restarts?
Sans: well what does a computer do when it restarts alex?
You: It takes a power nap
Sans: You are getting an applause
Sans: *applause*
Sans: *cheering*
You: *majestically bows*
You: what do you call it when a computer sings
Sans: a demon
You: A dell
Sans: MMDMDMMFHJJMHMHMMMM
Sans: I'm so proud
Sans: were you always like this
You: like what
Sans: yknow
Sans: pun making
You: I think so
You: ha
You: I clearly didn't have many friends
Sans: *snorts*
You: well it is true
Sans: cue the sad violin
You: ;-;
Sans: I'm now chilling in my cool camper
You: how is sleeping in the camper
Sans: oh you know
Sans: camperish
You: cool cool
Sans: no but really this bed is life
Sans: like how can a bed be so soft
You: idk
You: what if it's made out of human flesh
You: what if that's why it's so soft
Sans: well fml
Sans: nah it's not out of flesh
Sans: its like feather like
Sans: I'm now contemplating how many money mtt has
Sans: heck of a lot I suppose
You: well yes no shit he's famous
You: I think Jess knows it
Sans: how does she know that
You: she's in the fandom
You: I'll call her hold on
Sans: okok
You: She's in my room now
You: Jess says hi
Sans: heya
Sans: SO I HAD A QUESTION
Sans: HOW MANY MONEY DOES MTT MAKE IN LIKE A MONTH
You: IM JESS BTW
You: WAIT ARE YOU FAN OF MTT AS WELL
You: I HAVE THE ANSWER TO THAT QUeSTION BTW
You: HE MAKES ABOUT 1.6 MILLION A MONTH
Sans: jesus
Sans: klsj
You: Same
You: WE ARE GOING TO SEE MTT IN 7 DAYS IM SO EXCITED
Sans: Yes yes
Sans: I'll be there too btw
You: IKR
You: Alex has been talking about it 25/7
Sans: HA
Sans: what'd she say bout it?
You: oh like
You: IM SO EXCITED *screech*
Sans: HA
You: She talked quite a lot about you too ;)))))
Sans: What'd she say bout me?
You: (Alex left the room btw)
You: Oh only how she loves talking to you and shit
Sans: :33333333
You: Ha
You: So you two are gonna meet?
Sans: Yup
You: And you aren't a 56 year old stalker man?
Sans: nope
You: then you're good in my book
Sans: nice
Sans: She's meeting my friends too btw
Sans: We are kind of helping with the tour yay
You: Oh that's why she was talking about a camper
Sans: lmao
You: WAIT
You: SO
You: YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND OF MTT?
Sans: well
Sans: uh
Sans: my brother and him are in a relationship?
You: WAIT WHAT
You: WHAT WHAT WHAT HWATHWHWHAHTHW
You: WAIT
Sans: calm child
You: MHDMHH
***** More life stories and taco *****
Chapter Summary
     someone named their cat after taco and im
Sans: psst
Sans: you awake?
Sans: a-alex-senpai
Sans: notice me
You: you have been noticed kohai
Sans: HEY
Sans: fucking hell how long do you even sleep it's 12 am here
You: well I just went to sleep but awakened from a nightmare yay
You: ew it's 8 am here its so early
Sans: lol
Sans: so how was your day?
You: meh
You: kinda boring
You: I just slept and got groceries
Sans: amazing
Sans: its day 3 of the tour and I'm already exhausted why am I doing this
You: will you survive for 5 months
Sans: Probably not
You: how the fuck are you gonna manage if you're exhausted on ur 3rd day
Sans: well
Sans: not
You: rip
You: in advance that is
You: I'm not allowing you to die before we meet
Sans: tch
You: :D
Sans: ENTERTAIN ME
You: OKAY OKAY
You: WADDAYA WANNA HEAR
Sans: uh
Sans: IDK
Sans: TELL ME A LIFE STORY AGAIN
You: OKAY OKAY
You: hmm
You: OKAY YES
You: I HAVE AN IDEA
You: YES I HAVE A STORY
Sans: Okay tell me fleshgirl
Sans: please <3
You: okok
You: This is about when I first applied to a job
Sans: nice
You: Okay so I was just there as a 15 year old child. I was invited to come to
talk to an interviewee
You: And they said things trough the speaker like "Miss (name) can you come to
the office?"
Sans: okay okay
You: and she comes storming up the stairs and swears like a lot. and says stuff
like "got fucking damnit this is the 3rd fucking office I am seeing what is
it?"
You: And she sees me
You: And I laugh
You: like way, way too hard
Sans: HAHA
You: And she says "Come to my office please"
Sans: HAHAHAHA
You: and basically, I got the job
Sans: lOOLoLol
Sans: that's glorious
Sans: tell that story to your future children
You: I will
You: I'm still so proud I got that job though
You: I was a restocker at the supermarket
Sans: nicuuu
You: yup
You: So how was the ride?
Sans: ugh
Sans: it was ok I suppose
Sans: I only nearly died because I nearly fell asleep but ok
You: you aint gonna die before we meet boneboy
Sans: yes yes
Sans: I feel like coffee is keeping me alive rn
You: lol
Sans: THIS IS THE LAST CITY BEFORE I MEET YOU THOUGH
Sans: MHDMSKDJF
You: AAAAAAAAAAA
You: kalsjdkl;
You: where will you be though
Sans: Probs in the cafeteria
Sans: When are y acoming to visit us though
You: probably in the break of the show
Sans: well I think I will be making a shitton of pasta then
Sans: so yay in the cafeteria
You: coolio
You: How are the others doing?'
Sans: oh like good
Sans: and not tired
Sans: BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE A FUCKING SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Sans: #foreveralone
You: I feel your pain dood
Sans: *cries*
Sans: so yeah they can switch driving often
Sans: I can only switch with death and coffee
Sans: so I choose not to switch
You: rip
You: aren't there others to help you out though
Sans: nope
Sans: there is only mtt, paps, alphys and undyne
Sans: so nope
You: aren't there others?
Sans: well there is napstablook, but he's a ghost
Sans: which means he cant drive
You: well fuck
Sans: that yes
Sans: ENTERTAINN ME
You: ok ok ok
You: so I was in school
You: and I swear I heard the fucking tardis
You: from doctor who
Sans: ah yes
You: so I asked if I could go to the bathroom, and followed the sound
You: which came from 2 classrooms next to mine
You: SO I OOPENED THE DOOR
You: AND THEY WERE WATCHIGN DOCTOR WHO
You: and then one guy said
You: "See miss? We shouldn't have put it that loud. We summoned a nerd."
You: and I laughed and we became friends ha
Sans: HAHA
You: so yay that was another story out alex' life
Sans: TELL ME ANOTHER STORY
Sans: I'm so entertained rn
Sans: the others will probably have sex rn
You: okok
You: hmm
You: OH YES
You: okay so I was in a café and I needed to fart
You: and music was playing pretty loudly, so I waited for the beat to drop and
then fart
You: the thing is
You: I was listening music from my phone
Sans: *dies*
You: ha
You: fucking shame
Sans: hahahsjkajd;
You: TLEL ME A STORY BOUT YOURS
You: or a random lifestory
You: heheheakjds;l
Sans: okay okay
Sans: so I was at grillbys, a restaurant in the underground. I was known for
quite the prankster, and I needed to keep that title.
Sans: so one day, I took Pap with me to grillbys and ordered him a burger.
Sans: AND I ASKED DO YOU WANT KETCHUP WITH IT
Sans: he said something like "YES PLEASE PASS ME THE KEtCHUP" so I did
Sans: and guess what
Sans: the lid fell off
Sans: causing pap's burger to be drained in ketchup
You: HA
You: poor pap
You: wo wfun fact
You: 7 billion people experienced this day differently
Sans: wow
Sans: deep
Sans: TELL ME YOUR STORIES
Sans: this is now the day of stories
You: I got one
You: so I was waiting on the bus in a busstop and I was eating ice cream
You: AND SUDDENLY
You: SUDDENLY A FUCKING COUPLE BEGINS MAKING OUT AN DMOANING REALLY LOUDLY
You: so I get this bright idea
You: I eat the ice cream and moan as hard as they did
Sans: HAHAHA
You: they stopped.
Sans: FUCKING SAVAGE HAAH
Sans: I cant
You: TELL ME A STORY NOW BONEBRO
You: ur bonebro
Sans: okok
Sans: Oh wait well I have a story that happened like 2 days ago
Sans: so there was this cat
Sans: like a white cat
Sans: and they didn't have any nametag
Sans: and seemed to be injured
Sans: so
Sans: uh
Sans: I kinda took it with me on tour
You: what
You: you have a cat
Sans: yes?
Sans: I asked pap to heal him
You: wowoowo
You: wow
You: boneboy
You: you have a cat
You: I cant
You: aaa
You: whats the name
Sans: well
Sans: I named him Taco
You: how come?
Sans: well
Sans: I was eating a taco
You: you are great
Sans: I know I know
Sans: so yeah Taco and Sans
You: NAHW YOU FOUND A SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Sans: ew no
You: SANCO
You: OR TANS
You: jkjkjkj
Sans: nah but the cat is sweet
You: why didn't you tell me you had a cat
Sans: well idk
Sans: I forgot?
You: lmao
Sans: well you better go sleep now
You: you too
You: with taco
You: sansco
You: I love it
Sans: WELL SLEEP WELL FLESHGIRL
You: YOU TOO BONEBOY
Sans: TOMORROW?
You: DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO FUCKING ASK?
***** Kinky: The legendary pata *****
You: HEY BONEBOY
You: How was the show?
Sans: HEY FLESHGIRL <33
Sans: meh all right I suppose
Sans: Undyne helped pap and me out cooking spaghetti
You: Nice
You: 5 days left I cant
Sans: SAME
You: Jess is constantly screaming 5 days lololol
Sans: same
Sans: aren't we all
You: true true
You: So
You: Anything coolio happened today?
Sans: Actually yesh
Sans: So we always set up the day before after driving to the new terrain, so
that we don't really have to do anything besides our job in the evening
Sans: So we have like the morning and afternoon for ourselves
You: Coolio
You: What did ya do?
Sans: Well Me, Al, Undyne and Pap went to the movies
Sans: Question:
Sans: how can a human devour two large popcorns
Sans: before the film even starts
You: O_O
You: idk
You: that isn't really normal
You: for most people that is
Sans: oh well
Sans: after the movies, we went to an Italian restaurant
Sans: of course, Pap freaked out because there was so many pastas on the menu
You: HAHA
You: which one did he get though
Sans: uh
Sans: he got tortellini
You: Nice
You: that's one of my fav pastas btw
Sans: Nice
Sans: though, for him, eating the whole plate wasn't pastable
You: .........................
Sans: You sure get mad fusilli reasons
You: isweartogodsansimgonnapunchyouin5daysforthat
Sans: kinky
You: very
Sans: I feel the regretti sliding up my neck
Sans: OH BTW
Sans: I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING WHILE EATING PASTA
You: OKAY TELL ME
Sans: so I was thinking about that time you broke someones nose
You: kinky
Sans: Okay and so I thought of something
Sans: FLESH AND BONES MAY BREAK A NOSE
You: THAt Ss GEnIuS
You: HaHAhAha
You: HAhHAhKDJFSLKDJf;
You: brb sobbing
Sans: it wasn't that good
Sans: though, it was creative
Sans: STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES
Sans: wait don't actually throw sticks and stones at me
You: okok
You: flesh and bones may break your nose
You: that's genius
You: bksjldkf;aj
Sans: c'mon it wasn't that genius
Sans: I only cried a little when I came up with it
You: HAHA
You: I'm just imagining you in a pasta restaurant, crying in front of your
friends btw
Sans: well basically
Sans: Undyne noticed and she asked me what was wrong
Sans: I said
Sans: "This pasta is really good."
You: lmao
You: u were sobbing over 'pasta'
Sans: yes.
You: what kinda pasta did you get though
Sans: Spaghetti.
You: but don't you get spaghetti everyday?
Sans: I took it and said that this wasn't as half as good as Pap's spaghetti to
cheer him up
You: NAHW
You: *dies*
You: seriously you're the best brother ever
You: I cant rn
You: I'm dying brbrb
Sans: it wasn't that big of a deal shh
You: IT IS
You: YOU DID THAT TO CHEER HIM UP
You: EVEN THOGUH YOU COULD HAVE TAKEN A DIFFERENT PASTA
Sans: true
Sans: Pap has been saying to me that you should taste his noodles like over and
over and over
You: HAHAH
You: OH GOD THAT SOUNDED SO WRONG
Sans: what?
Sans: oh
Sans: OOOOHH
You: HAHAHH
You: "babe you oodle my noodle~"
Sans: kinky
You: kinky spaghetti sex
Sans: 1 - 100 real quick
You: THOUGH YOU GOTTA ADMIT
You: IT WAS FUNNY OK
Sans: the sudden realization that he says that like 4 times a day
Sans: I'm just slowly dying rn
You: YOU AINT WE STILL GOTTA MEET
You: btw, as you're talking to me, you are seconds closer to death already
Sans: well fuck
You: ha
You: welp
You: say to pap that I will oodle his noodle
Sans: ok
You: JK JK JK JK
Sans: guess who's knocking on the door
You: idk
You: pap?
Sans: idk I havent opened it yet
Sans: oh wait I hear pap shouting Imma open it hold on
You: okok
Sans: He's beside me
Sans: paps says hi
You: alex says hi as well
Sans: ALL RIGHT HELLO HUMAN ALEX
Sans: SANS SAID THAT I COULD TAKE THE LAPTOP FOR A SECOND
Sans: HE IS DRINKING COFFEE AGAIN
You: he is probs just tired
You: HI PapS
Sans: HI
Sans: HOW HAS YOUR DAY BEEN
You: oh it was fine
You: I just watched some movies with my friend Jess
Sans: WILL I MEET JESS AS WELL
You: Dunno
You: Think so?
Sans: YES!
Sans: I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO 5 DAYS
You: same
Sans: SANS IS SITTING BESIDE ME AGAIN
You: hi boneboy
Sans: WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM BONEBOY
Sans: ISNT NICKNAMING PEOPLE WHAT ONLY LOVERS DO
Sans: WAIT YOU HAVE NICKNAMED ME PAPS
Sans: AND SANS IS CALLING ME PAPS AS WELL
Sans: EVERYONE IS CALLING ME PAPS
Sans: BUT IM IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH METTATON
You: PAP CALM DOWN
You: Okay imma explain you something real quick
You: There are nicknames for friends and lovers k?
You: Paps is a friend nickname
You: whatever you call MTT or what he calls you is a lovers nickname ok?
Sans: OH
Sans: OKAY I UNDERSTAND
Sans: WAIT I WAS SCROLLING THROUGH THE MESSAGES YOU AND SANS SENT EACH OTHER
AND WHY ARE YOU MAKING PASTA PUNS
Sans: ALSO
Sans: WHAT DOES KINKY MEAN
You: ...............
Sans: ALEX WHY IS SANS BLUSHING
You: WELL
You: KINKY IS TOO, A PASTA PUN
Sans: WHAT
Sans: BUT I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THIS PASTA
Sans: I AS A PASTA EXPERT, MUST NOW RESEARCH THIS ON THE INTERNET
You: NO
You: DONT
You: I CAN TELL YOU WHAT KIND OF PASTA IT IS
You: Because it's an very old pasta, and only a few know about it
You: The internet doesn't know it.
You: It's a legendary pasta.
Sans: WOWIE
Sans: SANS IS STILL BLUSHING WHY IS THAT
You: He's just embarrassed by the fact that he hasn't shared his great kinky
knowledge with you
Sans: OKAY THEN
Sans: THANKS FOR TELLING ME
Sans: I JUST CAME TO CHECK UP ON SANS AND YOU
Sans: I WILL LEAVE NOW
You: Kay pap
You: Bye then!
Sans: YES HUMAN! I WILL TELL NO ONE ABOUT KINKY
You: YEs Okay :D
Sans: BYE
Sans: jesus you saved my ass there
You: I'm alex btw
Sans: hmmmmm
You: ALSO
You: HOW TF DO YOU BLUSH YOU DONT HAVE BLOOD
You: OR DO YOU
Sans: uh
Sans: mmmmmmmmmmmmagic?
You: >:(
You: Alex is not pleased by this answer
Sans: well too bad for you because idk how it works ;D
You: is paps gonna tell everyone about the legendary pasta now
Sans: I doubt it. He has promised not to
Sans: I think he thinks he is in a special group or something
You: that group must be kinky
Sans: hmMmMmmMMMMMM
Sans: *cringing intensifies*
You: same sorry dude <3
Sans: <333333333
You: ha
Sans: wait hold on people are calling me
You: k
Sans: ew
Sans: they want my help to take the stage down
Sans: :///////////////////////////
Sans: ew I don't feel like working
You: when do you feel like working anyway
Sans: uh
Sans: well
Sans: not
You: that's what I thought
You: get your bony ass outside
Sans: I d o n t h a v e a n a s s b u t o k a y
You: sh
Sans: shhhh
Sans: the legendary pasta
You: is this your way to saying kinky to me now
Sans: yes
You: nice
You: WELL GET OUTSIDE
Sans: OKAY OKAY MOM JEEZ
You: the legendary spaghetti
Sans: JEEZ MOM
Sans: TOMORROW WHATEVER?
You: DO YOU REALLY AHVE TO ASK?
You: FUCK I RUINED IT BY MY TYPO
You: (can yo uask it again I'm ashamed now))
Sans: TOMORROW WHATEVER?
You: DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO ASK?
***** A 'little' 'tipsy' *****
You: HEI BONEBOYYYY
You: U THERE???
Sans: yeh
Sans: good morning for you fleshgirl
You: saaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnssssssssss
Sans: ye
You: bonedaddy
You: <3333
Sans: what
You: sansy pantsy
Sans: I'm genuinely confused right now
You: snassssssssssssss
Sans: ?????????/
Sans: Alexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You: BONE ME
Sans: okay that's it are you drunk
You: what no
You: why would I be drunk
Sans: you sure?
You: yesss
Sans: you're drunk
Sans: for sure
You: Hey, Jess here. Alex is indeed drunk and she's passed out rn. I just
caught her sitting on her laptop
Sans: oh hey jess
Sans: how come she was though
You: We went to a party of my friend but she didn't know the punch was spiked
Sans: ah
Sans: lol
Sans: s she allright tho
You: ye
You: She can handle it I guess
You: I'll get some water and ibuprofen for when she wakes up
Sans: nice
Sans: btw
Sans: did you know you could treat a hangover with tomatoes
You: nope I didn't
Sans: well tomatoes contain fructose which helps along the metabolism of
alcohol in the body.
You: I didn't understand a single word of that sentence, but i'll give her some
tomatoes
Sans: nice
Sans: eggs help as well
You: Why don't I know this
Sans: Eggs contain an amino acid called cysteine which helps counter the
effects of acetaldehyde, a side effect of excessive alcohol consumption.
You: how do you know this
Sans: uh
Sans: google
You: ah
You: well that explains it
Sans: though, you have to say, feeding her some eggs would be an eggcellent
idea
Sans: ;)))))
You: e n d m y s u f f e r I n g
You: literally, fun fact: Alex always makes breakfast which consists of eggs
and bacon, and she always makes that pun
Sans: lol
Sans: so it doesn't CRACK you up anymore
You: I'm so done
Sans: ;-;
You: WELL YOLKS ON YOU IM NOT LEAVING
Sans: WHAHAHJKSLJKDL:F
You: I made a pun
You: yes, I, jess am capable of doing that
Sans: .-.
You: My puns are eggstravaganza
Sans: .......
Sans: good one
You: eggactly
Sans: I never thought I would get beaten by you
You: HAHAH
Sans: wow pal, don't get too eggcited
You: .ksljf;a
You: that's just me slamming alex' keyboard don't worry
Sans: lol
You: *twitching eye*
You: btw
You: I cant seem to figure this out
You: how o people see when eggs are hatched, if there are chickens in it
Sans: dunno
You: they have eggs-ray vision
Sans: I give up
Sans: ..........
You: what? Are you b-egg-ing me to stop
Sans: what is this
Sans: I thought you were like papyrus
Sans: less innocent but still against puns
You: oh I like to crack a few puns here and there
You: THAT ONE WASNT EVEN INTENDED IM A GENIUS
Sans: you sure are pal
You: omgjisodjfakl
You: I cant hold on
You: .jakjkdl
Sans: calm tf down jess
You: I JUST REMMEBERED IT IS ONLY 4 DAYS TILL THE CONCERT
Sans: IKR
You: You're on tour with them right?
Sans: I don't know, am I?
Sans: jk I am
You: HOW IS THE SHOW
You: WHAT SONGS IS HE GONNA SING
Sans: well the show is special
Sans: I guess you could call it that
Sans: dunno I'm just cookin pasta while everyone watches
Sans: though, I can hear his music in the kitchen
You: WHAT SOGNS DI D HE SING
Sans: uh
Sans: something about a poor robot and a rich ghost or something
You: JSDKLFJLSKD:J
You: POOR GHOST AND RICH ROBOT LOVE
You: THATS WHAT THE SONG IS CALLED
You: OML IS HE GONNA PERFORM IT
Sans: well I heard it so I guess so
You: *SCREETCH*
You: DID YOU HEAR MORE
Sans: I don't wanna spoil u
Sans: I'm all against spoilers
You: pls pls
You: pls
You: pls
You: pls
You: pls
Sans: shoo
You: pls
You: Pls
Sans: okok
You: YES
Sans: okay I heard something like 'waterfall waterfall, what if I fall into
this abyss'
You: SCREEE
You: THATS MY FAVORITE SONG
You: ITS A REALLY DARK SONG TOO
You: OML HE's OGNNA PERFORM IT
Sans: shhhh
Sans: wait mtt makes dark songs as well
You: only a few
You: dunno he had like this period where he made a couple of dark songs and
then went over to the more famous ones nowadays
Sans: okok
You: I think alex is waking up hold on
Sans: ok
You: she's waking up
You: shit wait I forget to get tomatoes and eggs
Sans: you're not suppose to do that directly after the pills ;)
You: shoo okok
Sans: say hi from me to her
You: shh I'm busy taking care of my child
Sans: what
You: I call her my child no more questions
Sans: ok
Sans: ill just sing a song then
Sans: or type it
Sans: wait I have to come up with a song first
Sans: JUST GIVE ME A CALL ON THE PHONE
Sans: THEY NEED A MONSTER THAT THEY CAN ROOT FOR
Sans: THEY NEED A MONSTER THAT THEY BELIEVE IN
Sans: AND I'LL BE THERE SHINING
Sans: AND DARLING I SWEAR I'LL NEVER LEAVE
Sans: jeez this mtt stuff is getting to my head
Sans: what is life
Sans: did you know that cats can't taste sweet things
Sans: and did you know that moths don't have a stromach
You: HA U FILTHY MTT FAN
You: ALEX IS BACK BITCHES
You: IM A LITTLE (much) VOMITING EVERYWHERE BUT OK
Sans: HEIIIIIIII
You: IM STILL TIPSY DONT TAKE EVERYTHING I SAY FOR GRANTED
Sans: wait alex
Sans: just scroll up for a bit
You: oh You and jess talked?
You: OH MY GOD
You: OHHH MY GOD
You: SHE MADE PUNS
You: SHE ENVER DOES THIS
Sans: I THOUGHT SHE WAS LIKE PAP BUT LESS INNOCENT
You: SAME
You: IM GONNA TEASE HER FOREVER ABOUT THIS
Sans: HAHAHHAHA
You: EW wAIT HOLD ON JUST A SECOND
Sans: ok
You: JEss here again
You: status update: Alex is throwing up elegantly in the toilet
Sans: how can one throw up elegantly
You: its just the way of life
You: she is returning
Sans: okok
You: aaaaaaaaaaaand she passed out on the floor
Sans: she literally said she was just a little tipsy
You: lol
You: don't think so pal
You: she is like straight up drunk
Sans: lol
Sans: Well wish her good night from me
You: Will do Sans :D
Sans: take care of her k?
You: yes yes
You: OEH WAIT DOES SOMEONE CARE ABOUT HIS SPECIAL FRIEND
Sans: I sure do
Sans: well imma sleep now
Sans: I'm just bone tired
You: =.=
Sans: kay kay
Sans: Bye then
You: Bye :)
***** Sansco is real *****
You: HEYA
You: boneboy u there
Sans: HEY FLESHGIRL
You: GUESS WHAT
Sans: well what
You: IM NOT DRUNK :D
Sans: HA
Sans: I talked to jess yesterday :D
Sans: while you were 'majestically throwing up'
You: that's the way of life
You: also
You: what
You: I literally cant remember yesterday
You: hold on I'll scroll up so that I can see yesterdays chatlogs
Sans: okok
You: what
You: what
You: what
You: JeSS IS MAKING PUNS??
You: SHE NEVER DOES THAT?????????
Sans: I guess I just have that impact on people
You: ALSO WHAT
You: I SAID I WAS A LITTLE TIPSY
You: I was literally wasted
You: someone spiked the punch rip
Sans: yeah I heard that
You: lol
You: HA
You: U SAID U CARED ABOUT ME
Sans: well of course?
Sans: why wouldn't I care bout u
You: dunno :d
You: ANYWAY hOW ARE YOU
Sans: well
Sans: tired
Sans: we had to set up the stage and stuff
You: ew
Sans: I'm sure your days was better than mine, so how was your dday
You: uh
You: job hunting
Sans: and?
You: NOTHING
You: UHGHH
Sans: :////////////////
Sans: so what are you gonna do now?
You: ugh idk
You: Jess is soon moving out to live with her boyfriend and idk what I'm gonna
do then if I don't get a job
Sans: :/
You: lets just say the bags under my eyes look brighter than my future
Sans: same same
You: how do you even have bags under your eyes
Sans: I really don't know
Sans: MMMMMMMAGIC?
Sans: I'm a magic skeleton
You: well hi a magic skeleton
You: I'm alex
Sans: SKDLFJKLS:D
Sans: noot
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You: 3 DAYS LEFT
Sans: YES
Sans: IM GONNA GIVE YOU A HUG WHEN I MEET YOU
You: YES
You: I'm probably gonna give everyone a hug and cry
Sans: same same
You: ITS SO SOON ALREADY
Sans: SKDFJ:LS
Sans: PAPYRUS IS SO EXCITED
Sans: EVERYONE IS EXCITED
Sans: NOOOOT
You: SKLDJFL:S
You: JESS IS EXCITED TOO
You: SHE WANTS TO MEET YOU AND PAPYRUS
You: (she secretly wants to confirm you all aren't 50 year old men)
Sans: hahahahha yeahh.. about that...
You: ??
Sans: we all are 50 year old men
Sans: get into my van sweetheart
You: ok
Sans: there is wifi and candy in my van
You: ok
Sans: nice
Sans: BTW
Sans: HAHA
Sans: SO THIS HAPPENED TODAY
Sans: SO DO YOU REMEMBER THE TIME I ASKED MTT FOR A FEDORA
Sans: just for shits and giggles
You: hmmmmmmmm
You: Oh yeah I remember that
Sans: HE GAVE ME 3 DIFFERENT FEDORAS
You: HAHAHHAHSDKLJFL:K
You: amazing
Sans: YES
Sans: HA
Sans: so one is pink with a shit ton of glitter
Sans: another one is just mtt's face
Sans: and the last one is pink with more pink and pink
You: pink intensifies
Sans: IKR'
Sans: I'm so gonna wear these
Sans: IRONICALLY
You: OLOLOL
You: so I needed some shoes
You: (this was today btw)
You: and I ended up searching the internet for it
You: and now I'm just asking how I ended up looking at pull overs for men
You: (and for me ha)
Sans: happens to me all the time
Sans: skajf;ks
Sans: TaCo just walked ove rmy keyboard what is this madness
You: Lol I forgot about taco
You: how is the dude doing
Sans: oh he's fine
Sans: :D
You: :3
You: *cosplaying as ur cat*
Sans: 10/10 cosplay
Sans: Alphys and undyne did a cosplay recently
Sans: idk what anime though
You: ayy
You: I cosplayed someone once
Sans: Who?
You: ...
You: I basically made me into a slytherin
Sans: NICE
You: IKR
You: SKJDF:L
You: I'm too much of a potterhead
Sans: Yeah you are
You: BUT
You: I'LL BRING BOOKS FOR YOU
Sans: YAY
You: :D:D
Sans: (do you have the harry potter series)
You: (of course I'm gonna bring that what did you think)
Sans: idk
You: :D
Sans: HAHA
Sans: SO
Sans: THIS WAS FUNNY TODAY
Sans: SO ME ALPHYS AND UNDYNE WERE BUILDING THE STAGE
Sans: AND
Sans: I CAUGHT THEM MAKING OUT
Sans: SO I TOOK OUT MY PHONE AND PLAYED CARELESS WHISPER
Sans: we laughed for like 239428030 hours
You: HAHAHA
You: lmao
You: guess what I cant get caught making out
You: #foreveralone
Sans: date me
You: phf
Sans: <4
You: wow a 3 was too much??????????????
Sans: yes <5
You: B-BUT S-SENPAI???
Sans: Y-Yes
You: TCH YOU WEIRDO
You: B-BAKA
Sans: you're doin a pretty good tsundreplane impression there
You: whatplane
Sans: tsundreplane is a monster
Sans: its a tsundre
Sans: and a plane
You: wow couldn't have figured that
Sans: lmaomoa
Sans: welp
You: Jess is jumping around the apartment again
You: what is life
Sans: idk man
You: noot
Sans: I'm tired and its 9 pm what
You: Yeah its quite early for me as well?
Sans: what is this our sleeping schedules
You: mine is nonexistent
You: free will
Sans: Free willy
You: maybe I should free your willy ;))))))))))))))))
Sans: ;))))))))))))))
You: ;))))))))))))
Sans: *wink wonk*
Sans: alex
You: yes
Sans: do you want to hear my 69/10 pick up line
You: ok
Sans: *slaps* NOW SUCK
Sans: works every time
You: 10/10 would slap again
You: my ultra pick up line:
You: I'm a previously convicted rapist, wanna hangout?
Sans: o-O I would
You: yes it worked
Sans: nice shoes
Sans: wanna fuck
You: I MAY NOT BE THE PRETTIEST GIRL BUT IM THE ONLY ONE TALKING TO YOU
You: how to be desperate 101
Sans: our pick up lines are the best tbh
You: ikr
You: I should be crowned
Sans: WHAT ABOUT ME HUH
You: you can get a tiara
Sans: aye
Sans: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems, nice tits" -
Sansmaster 2k16
You: skelenerd
Sans: humannerd
You: lazybones
Sans: oKAY MY MASTER PICK UP LINE
Sans: IT WILL DESTROY EVERYONE
Sans: HERE GOES:
Sans: Breathe if you're horny. All right :D
You: bitch I can top that
Sans: i'd top you
Sans: ifyouknowwhatimean ;))))))))))))00
Sans: laklsdj;fa
Sans: lol that was taco again kms
You: HAH
You: HERE COMES MY AWARD WINNING PICK UP LINE:
You: You look almost as good as my brother. But y'know. That's illegal
Sans: *cries*
Sans: naw
Sans: NAWHWHH
You: ??
You: are you that impressed
You: I am pretty great
Sans: NAHW
Sans: TACO IS CURLED UP AGAINST ME AND HES SO CUTE KSDJFL:SDJ
You: NAHW
You: Sansco
You: I'm gonna write a sansco fanfic
Sans: I will read it when you do
You: I will probably do it
You: have too much time on my hands
Sans: same
Sans: NAHW TACO IS CUTE
You: u go make out with taco then
Sans: shh
Sans: Sansco is real
You: shit and I was just hoping for Alesans to be real
You: oh well
You: ILL LEAVE THEN ;-;
Sans: IT ISNT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE SENPAI
You: T^T
Sans: I do love my cat though
You: YOU LEFT ME FOR A CAT
Sans: *dramatic pose*
You: *Cries dramatically*
Sans: *Majestically vomits*
You: DONT BRING THAT UP
Sans: BITCH I JUST DID
Sans: btw
Sans: imma slepe for a bit
You: keke
You: TOMORROW?
Sans: DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO ASK?
***** Surrounded by Tall Noodles *****
You: It was a late summer night. Sans was very tired and so was his crush Taco.
"Hey Babyboy come here <3" Sans said in a smooth voice and winked at Taco.
"purr." Taco said and went to sit in Sans' lap. "oh baby yessssssssssss" Sans
huffed in a rough voice. "puuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrr" the cat purred intensely.
"oh baby more!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!!"
You: this is what I call a Sansco Fanfic
You: Made by Alex Parker
Sans: HEY
Sans: O-O
Sans: I read that
Sans: beautiful
You: ikr
Sans: your fanfic writingskills are over 9000
You: you are aware that is an anime joke right
Sans: uh
Sans: idk alphpys and undyne are constantly saying it
You: HAHA
You: ITS OVER 9000 SANSPAI!!!
Sans: my penis is over 9000 inch
You: you wish
Sans: it is
Sans: no kidding
You: my penis is 9001 inch
Sans: oh shit I'm beaten
Sans: oh well
You: SANS
You: HMHMHMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
You: 2 DAYS LEFT
Sans: SO CLOSE
You: YET SO FAR AWAY
Sans: WE WILL SEE EACH OTHER IN 72 HOUR?????????????
You: SHIT DUDE WHADDUPPPDPDPPSDKLFJ:SLD
Sans: NOOT IM SO EXCITED
You: SAME
Sans: NOSKJD:LFJ
You: HOW TALL ARE YOU
Sans: Hmmmmmmmm
Sans: I'm 9000 inches long
Sans: penis size that is
You: same
Sans: nah I'm 6'
You: o_O
Your: ur a tall noodle
Sans: I'm literally one of the smallest of the group
Sans: pap is like 6'4 and undyne is like 6'5 or something
You: o_O_O_O_O_O
Sans: Alphys is 5'8 or somethin
You: I'm 5'6
Sans: UR SMOLL
Sans: IM GONNA SQUEEZE YOU
Sans: NAHWHHKLSJDFL:
You: I'm a smoll bean shh
Sans: SNANWHKLJ
You: AHHA
You: the adventures of toll noodle and smoll bean
You: I'm gonna feel so small there jezus
You: MTT IS LIKE 6'5 OR SOMETHING
You: sjkd;ljfalskd
You: what is life
Sans: idk
Sans: IM TALLER AHHAH
You: pffffffff
You: pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
You: ur just a giant
Sans: you know what other part of me is giant
You: isweartogod
Sans: ;))))))))))))00
You: ha
Sans: hey girl are you made of boren oxygen and neon
Sans: Because I want to BONe you
Sans: ;)))))))
You: creative
Sans: ikr
You: ha
You: sooooooooooooo
You: did ya do anything interesting today
Sans: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Sans: well I drove to your town
Sans: and now we are like unpacking all stuff
Sans: and we will set up the stage tomorrow
You: nice
You: wow we are so close
Sans: YET SO FAR AWAY
You: *dramatically poses*
You: I have reached the point that I woke up at 3:30 pm
Sans: O_o
You: lmao
You: SO yEAH MY DAY WAS SPECTACULAIR
You: JOB HUNTING
You: GUESS WHAT
Sans: YOU AHVE A JOB?
You: NOPE
You: :D
You: HA FML
You: I really don't know what to do though. Jess is soon moving out and I justc
ant find a job and askdj;lfalsk
Sans: don't stress
Sans: how long till she moves out though
You: in 3 months already
Sans: welp
Sans: time to die
You: same
You: idontknowwhattodoandimstressing
Sans: hmmmmmmmm
Sans: write a book?
You: have you seen the fanfiction I just wrote
Sans: ...
Sans: don't write a book then
You: lmao
You: ill come up with something
You: blerb
You: how is your lover doing
You: I meant taco
Sans: pffffff
Sans: he's fine
Sans: he's beside me
You: nahw
You: I still ship it though
Sans: ship what u want
You: ha
Sans: ughdksga;lkdj
You: taco?
Sans: nah that was just my head falling on my laptop
Sans: I'm so tired
Sans: IM ALWAYS TIRED
Sans: I HAVE TO DRIVE A GODDAMN 32i489230-849823 MILES
Sans: EVERY 3 DAYS
Sans: KILL ME
Sans: I HAVE 1 HP DO IT
You: 1 HP?
You: as in what you have in videogames?
Sans: yup
You: (that's very little)
Sans: wow I didn't notice that
You: how come though?
Sans: not talking bout that now
Sans: i'll tell you another time
You: keke
You: oml
You: so I was teasing Jess about the fact that she told puns
Sans: HAHA
You: AND THEN
You: SHE SAID
You: "I find making puns quite appealing"
You: SHE WAS EATING A BANANA
You: and I cried a little
Sans: HAHA
Sans: IM SO PROUD
Sans: orange you glad she makes puns now
You: yes
You: WAIITTTTTT
Sans: ;)
You: .....
You: I'm feeling a bit meloncholy now
Sans: smooth
Sans: I love you from my head tomatoes
You: smooth
Sans: HEY I CAN LOVE A FRIEND
You: don't let your dreams be dreams
Sans: I wont :)
You: (whydidyoufriendzoneme)
Sans: (everyonecangetoutofthefriendzone)
You: (NICE)
Sans: iffeel so cornfused now
You: ;)
You: well orange you cute
Sans: you're one in a melon
You: you win
Sans: HA
Sans: well you're the apple of my eye ;)))))))))))
You: I already said you win
You: I'm feeling so humiliated
You: but I'm pine now
Sans: well if you would be a tropical fruit
Sans: you'd be a fine-apple
Sans: ;)))))
You: I'm still queen of the pickuplines though
You: you can be the ruler of puns
Sans: accepted
You: Nice
Sans: y'know
Sans: we'd make a pearfect couple
You: noot noot
You: jkdal;jfs
You: smooth
Sans: ikr
Sans: I'm so smooth
You: WELL HI SO SMOOTH IM ALEX :D
Sans: why do you say that like every day
You: Because I grab every opportunity to do that
Sans: ha
Sans: NAHWHWHSJKLD:FJLS
Sans: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHWWWWWWWWWWWW
Sans: TACO IS PURRING AND SITTING IN MY LAP
You: Sans freaking out over his cat episode 239804
Sans: shoo
Sans: this cat is cute
You: h
You: a
You: you know who's cute too
Sans: me
You: ME
You: oh
You: well
You: mmmmmm
Sans: imma sleep I think
Sans: I'm tired
Sans: WAIT DONT
You: Hi TiReD I'm AlEx
You: WELL SLEEP WELL CHILD
Sans: child
Sans: I'm taller than you
Sans: take that
Sans: take my penis also
You: smooth
Sans: ikr
Sans: WELL GOODNIGHT
You: GOOD NIGHT BABE
You: <33333333333
Sans: Tomorrow?
You: ohmygod tomorrow will be the last time we chat before we meet da;lkfjs;ldk
Sans: ohsdmfaksjdfhoshdggoghodhgkodjsflhgohgodkjg
You: IM SO EXCITED
Sans: SAME
Sans: HYPE
You: well have fun making out with taco
Sans: will do
You: GOOD NIGHT
Sans: TOMORROW?
You: Do YoU rEaLlY hAvE tO aSk
***** 0 days! *****
You: WELL HELLO THERE BONEBOY
Sans: HELLO HUMAN BEING MADE OUT OF FLESH
You: hello
Sans: NSKLJFS:LD
Sans: THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIM EWE CHAT BEFORE WE MEET
Sans: I CANT
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAA
You: IM FREAKING OUT
Sans: SAME
Sans: BLKSJDL:FKJ
Sans: 1 DAY
You: TOMORROW
You: AAAAAAA
You: WAIT NO
You: TODAY
You: IM GOING TO MEET YOU TODAY
Sans: ITS STILL 1 DAY FOR ME
You: LDOLKSFJDL:F
You: 0 DAYS
You:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Sans: same
You: S:DKLJFLSDk
Sans: IM FGONNA MEET YOUSIUFIS
You: I WILL MEET ALL THE TOLL NOODLES
Sans: I WILL SQUEEZE You
You: (don't let me die please)
You: ALSO I WILL PROBABLY BE CRYING BUT THATS OKAY
Sans: sAME
You: HOW DO SKELETONS CRY
Sans: I DOn T KNoW
Sans: BUT I DO SOMETIME
You: COOL
You: I do too
Sans: wow
Sans: noot i have gbeen setting up the stage with undyne and pap again
Sans: we were listening to this thing called vocaloids
You: *DEEP BREATH*
You: *INHALE*
You: boiIlovevocaloidssomuchwhichonewhereyoulisteningto
Sans: Uhhhhhhh
Sans: hold on I'll ask undyne
Sans: I'm in her camper
Sans: idk what reason lol
You: cool
Sans: apparently we were listening to hatsune miku or something
You: BOIJDOSIFKJLS:DF:L
Sans: you like that one?
You: YES
Sans: Any songs I should listen to?
You: LISTEN TO MIND BRAND
You: AND DISILLUSIONED
You: AND LOVE ME LOVE ME
You: (I'm dropping hints here ;))))))))))))))))
Sans: I asked undyne if she wanted to play that
Sans: ok she is playing mind brand
Sans: SJKLDFJ:SLKDJ
You: IKR
Sans: ITS SO CATCHY I LOVE IT
You: HA YOU CANT SPEAK JAPANESE BUT THE LYRICS ARE VERY DARK
Sans: baka chan cherry blossom kawaii kun sensei senpai
Sans: see I can speak Japanese what are you talking about
You: oh shit sorry senpai
Sans: that's sanspai for you
You: knew that
You: shh
Sans: BUT REALLY THOUGh
Sans: THIS SONG
You: IRK
Sans: OH TACO IS WITH ME AGAIN :DDDDDDDDDD
You: tans
You: sansco
You: SANSCO IS REAL
Sans: btw do you know things about cats
You: uh yesh
Sans: okay then
Sans: so uh
Sans: are you supposed to feed a cat?
You: you're joking right
You: .....
You: O_o
Sans: ?
You: .........
You: .............
You: YOU DIDNT FEED YOUR CAT
You: ?????????
Sans: AHAHHAHA
Sans: U JUST GOT PRANKED
Sans: BY PRANKMASTER SANS
Sans: HAHAHHAHAHA
You: pfffffff
You: REALLY THOUGH
You: WHAT IF I CANT FIND THE CAFETERIA
Sans: there are literally signs signs everywhere
You: OH OKAY
Sans: pfff
You: IM JUST SO EXCITED
Sans: same same
Sans: Undyne and Al are too :D
Sans: hold on they want to steal my laptop
You: ok
Sans: PUNK
You: HEY UNDYNE
Sans: HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WA SME
You: you are literally the only one saying punk
Sans: THAT IS
Sans: true
Sans: SO YOU LIKE VOCALOIDS
You: YES
You: I like materu so much I cant
Sans: We just started listening to it
Sans: its awesome so far :D:SD
You: ;D
Sans: IM SO EXCITED FOR MEETING YOU PUNK
Sans: NYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Sans: I JUST WANT TO SPAWN A SPEAR RIGH TNOW AND CHOP A TREE
Sans: YOU KNOW WHAT
Sans: IM GONNA DO IT
Sans: ALPHYS WILL HOLD THE LAPTOP NOW
You: Hey Al :D
Sans: Heya :D
Sans: Looking forward to tomorrow?
You: YES
You: You?
Sans: OFC
Sans: :D
Sans: oh god undyne actually ran outside
You: HAHAHHA
Sans: Aaaaand sans is busy with his cat again
You: I ship Sansco
You: Sans x Taco
Sans: OMG
Sans: YES *-*
You: I WROTE A SANSCO FANFICTION YESTERDAY
You: Pure art if I may say so myself
Sans: cool
You: I also came to know that you're all toll noodles
Sans: :3
You: And I'm apparently a smoll bean
Sans: HAHA
Sans: Me too though
You: So what is your job at the tour exactly?
Sans: Oh well I work on Mettaton and make sure he isn't broken :D
Sans: (I also made mtt's body lol)
You: oh no biggie ofc
You: jk
You: I have like this fangirl friend and she's so excited
Sans: Haha
You: She has been jumping around the house for almost 23 days
You: I cant
Sans: lol
Sans: oh here comes sans again
Sans: See you on tour :D
You: You too :D
Sans: sup
You: NAHW SANS WAS WITH HIS VERTEBAE AGAIN
You: NAHWHWHHW
Sans: but you are my vertebae
You: <3
You: *wink*
Sans: wow ur really dropping hints
You: *hides behind plant so that sanspai wont see me*
Sans: shit I'm someones sanspai
You: *winking intensifies*
Sans: *winks back*
You: SANSPAI HAS NOTICED ME KSKDJLFKLS:
Sans: ha
Sans: hey girl wanna go on a date I make over 4 dollars a year
You: wow cool
Sans: hey girl your lips look lonely, do you want to meet mine
You: you don't have lips
You: try again boneboy
Sans: I'm not a photographer but I can picture us together ;)
Sans: are you a tortilla because I want to flip you over and eat you out;)
You: *cries*
You: what is this madness
Sans: so do you know what I like in a girl
You: well what do you like in a girl sans
Sans: my dick
You: I FUCKIGN SNORtED
You: AHHSaHSKJDHFHAHAHHA
You: If I were a cat I would spend my 9 lives with u <3
Sans: but I have taco
You: pff you love cats
Sans: true
Sans: did you know that they call me the cat whisperer
You: oww do they
Sans: no but I know what a pussy needs ;))))))))))))))))))0
You: I swear to fucking god save me from this hell
Sans: pffffff
Sans: well as long as I have a face you will always have a seat
You: hey tie your shoes I don't want you falling for anyone else
Sans: I HAVE ALREADY FALLEN
Sans: AND I CANT GET UP
You: mememasster
You: PSH
Sans: the shirt can go but you have to stay
You: OH OKAY THEN I SEE HOW IT IS
You: PFFFFFFFFFF
Sans: NOOT
Sans: IM STILL EXCITED FOR TOMORROW
You: ITS IN 18 HOURS ALREADY
Sans: GO SLEEP
Sans: GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP
You: OKAY SHH
You: did you know that motel is spelled letom backwards
Sans: yes
Sans: NOW LETS DO OUR ALWAYS FOR THE LAST TIME
You: this is very emotional for me
Sans: same I cant
You: *sniff*
You: Tomorrow?
Sans: WELL HECK YEAH
***** The day has finally come *****
Today is the day. Tour day.
 
Me and my friend Jess are currently sitting in a taxi. It is quite late
already, since Mettaton didn't start his show until eleven PM. Jess is shaking
in excitement while sitting beside me. She was finally going to see her idol.
I myself are shaking in excitement as well. Only for other reasons. I am going
to see my internet friends for the first time. It's sad that they have to leave
almost after the show though. Being in a taxi is the most perfect moment to ask
yourself questions. Like why don't we have a car to ride ourselves there?
I want to take a nap, but Jess wont let me. Every time I was half asleep, Jess
would wake me and say that we would be almost there (which we wouldn't by the
way).
Eventually, we reach the tour terrain and pay the taxidriver before stepping
out of the vehicle and walking to the tour terrain. There are a few booths with
both humans and monsters in front of them, only to buy or to show their
tickets. Jess and I had already ordered the tickets online, which meant we
should be able to quickly pass the booth and walk on the terrain, searching for
a good place.
It wasn't the actual show I am looking forward to, heck, fuck the show, I was
looking forward to the break, where I could meet my friends.
Jess and I are one of the first people to be on the terrain, so I got dragged
towards the stage, so that we would have a good place to stand and see
everything whatever would be happening on there.
Slowly but surely, the terrain began filling itself with people of both humans
and monsters. The lights on the terrain muted themselves and the lights on the
stage went on. A mix of bright pink and white was there to be seen. It sort of
blinded me a bit. Everyone suddenly yells and screams.
Mettaton came on stage. "GOOD EVENING DARLINGS!" He yells, followed by people,
including Jess screaming and yelling. Get me out of this right now. "ARE YOU
ALL UP FOR A WONDERFULL SHOW?" Mettaton says and poses dramatically.
Again, screaming and yelling. Let it be break soon please.
Finally break came around the corner and the terrain began to empty slowly.
Because Jess and I were standing in the front row, the two of you were the last
to leave. Mettaton had already left the stage, so I figured I would just say hi
after the show.
The two of you began making your way to the cafeteria. "That was absolutely
amazing." Jess suddenly says. She is still sobbing from the first half of the
show. I'm curious how she will survive the next part.
"Yeah it was all right." I agree and shrug. I'm already pretty happy that I'm
not deaf. "Hey how about you get us something to drink and I'll find Sans?" I
suggest.
"Sure." Jess simply agrees and runs off into the cafeteria.
Okay so I'm standing in front of a cafeteria right now. What should I do and
where do I find that skeleton.
"NYAAGH YOU DIDN'T PAY FOR THAT!" A loud voice from the cafeteria shouted and
was apparently chasing a bald man, in his mid thirties probably, who is running
from the cafeteria with a couple of beers in his hand. I guess he had stolen
those beers, and decide to chaise him as well. He is coming this way anyway.
I act like nothing is happening until the man came running towards me. I jump
when he was in reach and got a hold of both his legs, making him tumble. The
beer spats all over me when he fell.
"You bitch! Why the fuck did you do that!?" The man shouts and slaps me in my
face. Well excuse you. I yell in pain. I hear footsteps coming closer, and the
man attempted to run again, but soon got caught by a blue fish lady. Wait. Oh
my god a blue fish lady. Undyne. I ran towards my friend and wrapped her in a
hug when she had chained the man. "Dude what the hell is wrong with you?!" She
spat and drags the man on his collar towards some building.
"Oh I just have really bad amnesia and some internet friends I want to meet." I
smirk at her face of realization when she heard what I just had said.
"Wait don't tell me.." Undyne said with glinstering eyes. I nodded. She gives
me a toothy smile and wraps me in a tight hug. "PUNK IT'S REALLY YOU!" Undyne
laughed. "WE HAVE TO SEE THE OTHERS!"
I laugh at her enthusiasm and smile myself as well. "Can I maybe get a towel
first? I got the beer all over me."
"Sure. Let me bring this dude over to that building first though. Wait here."
She says, picks up the man and runs towards the building.
Undyne drops the man off there and runs back towards me. This reminds me of a
puppy. I chuckle. "Dude we have to live in campers now. Come on, maybe someone
is there. You can have a pair of my clothes." She excitedly says and drags me
with her towards a field with a few campers on it.
Undyne eventually opens her camper and threw me a fresh set of clothes which
consists of a red sweater with a black tanktop underneath it and some skinny
jeans I didn't actually need because only my shirt was drenched. But she
insists so I just take the offer. I quickly dress myself and leave the camper,
to see Undyne waiting for me outside.
"Happy camper now?" I smile at Undyne.
"Yes! Come on we gotta see the boys first. Alphys is busy with Mettaton in the
break anyways. You can see that cutie after the show." Undyne smiles and drags
me towards the cafeteria.
My phone is buzzing, which probably will be a text of Jess.
Jess: Alex where are you? I can't find you anywhere and the show is starting
You: I'm in the cafeteria. Don't worry bout me. I'm fine :D
Jess: Ok have fun there x
You: You too x
I quickly reply while running towards the large building which smelled like
beer and spaghetti. Undyne and I enter the building and saw just an empty (and
dirty) room with tables and such.
"PUNKS COME OUT!" Undyne calls and grinned. She signs that I should go stand
behind her. And so I did.
"NYEH UNDYNE! BACK SO SOON? ARE YOU HUNGRY?" A loud voice said from the
kitchen. I really wanted to squeal from happiness. This was the kind (and
really loud) voice of the one and only Papyrus. He talks in caps lock as well
apparently.
"YEAH! GET ME TWO PLATES ACTUALLY. ALSO, GET SANS." She shouts again.
"SANS?" Papyrus shouted.
"sup." A voice behind me says. I jump at the sudden voice and fell on the
floor. I laugh when I see the shocked expression on his face. "Alex?" He says
in a shaky tone and helps me up.
I couldn't do anything more than just hug him and sob. I have no idea why I'm
sobbing though. Probably from happiness or something. I nod.
"oh god it's so good to meet you." Sans says and embraces me as well.
"Two seconds in and you both are already a crying mess." Undyne laughs and
joins the hug.
"NYEH DON'T FORGET PAPYRUS!" Papyrus says and hugs everyone as well. "HI ALEX!"
"Hi Pap!" I smile happily.
"WE WERE JUST MAKING SPAGHETTI!" Papyrus excitedly says. "AND I PREPARED A
PLATE FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO TRY IT!" He continues and runs of
to the kitchen. I'm pretty sure I look like a sobbing, laughing and smiling
dork right now but I don't care right now.
"you want something to drink?" Sans offers.
"Sure." I say and sit down at a random table with Undyne
Sans walks to the kitchen hastily to get me a drink. Then Undyne touches my arm
lightly. "Dude if you don't go outside, you'll miss the show!"
"Don't care. I'd rather be you guys helping out here than going completely deaf
out there. Have you even stood there?" I laugh. "So what can I help you guys
out with?" I ask and look around the place.
"well we just have to make a shitload of spaghetti." Sans laughs and hands me
the drink. I smile and take little sips from the drink.
"I can help with that." I state and stand up and roll up the sleeves from the
sweater.
"m'kay then. let's make some spaghetti.'
***** Wh0t *****
I was only cutting tomatoes when I notice Sans beside me, grinning. "wanna
learn how to cut tomatoes like a pro?" He smirks and takes his right hand out
of his pocket. I snicker. "Sure. Show me how it's done boneboy." I say and see
him take my place behind the cutting board.
A blue power forms in his hands and a blue aura surrounds a couple of knifes.
The knifes begin cutting and mashing the tomatoes while Sans is lazily grinning
at me.
So he has telekinetic powers. Well then. He didn't lie about being a magical
skeleton.
"ALEX ARE THE TOMATOES READY?" Papyrus shouts from the other side, busy with
boiling the noodles.
"Almost!" I shout and eye Sans a nervous look, who is currently shoving the
tomatoes in a bowl with his powers. When the tomatoes are done, I bring the
bowl to the taller skeleton, who thanks me.
"So what now?" I ask him and look at the kitchen. Undyne is busy doing whatever
she is doing. Probably smashing something and Sans is doing.. well.. Sans
things.
"YOU CAN HELP PLACING PLATES AND CUTLERY ON THE TABLES!" Papyrus shouts and
points at a rather large cupboard, probably with the plates in it. I open it
and grab the plates out of it and walk trough the door, into the cafeteria. I
also notice how Mettaton is ending the concert and the majority of sound which
is coming trough these walls is insane.
I begin placing the plates on the tables while humming a Mettaton song. Blame
the concert for that I suppose.
"need help?" Sans asks suddenly. I jump at his deep voice, not expecting him to
behind me. "jeez calm down. I know I'm stunning but you don't have to jump." He
laughs and begins placing cutlery on the table.
"Well have a knife day." I grin.
Sans laughs and continues placing the cutlery. "See you spoon."
I snort. "You better fork off with your puns." I laugh again and finish placing
the plates. Sans finishes as well and returns to the kitchen with me.
"that was forking terrible."
"SANS I SWEAR TO GOD WE HAVE A GUEST YOU CAN'T MAKE PUNS!" Papyrus shouts
angrily and stands in the doorway. I'm pretty sure I see a smile on his face as
well though.
"Too spoon?" I grin at Papyrus' face.
"NYEH SANS YOU HAVE ALREADY INFLUENCED HER!"
"Hey spooner or later I'll leave." I laugh. Sans is now rolling on the floor.
Undyne groans at my amazing puns and continues smashing things. I hear the door
opening and I look the way of the door. Mettaton and a lizard lady are standing
in the doorway. Deep breaths Alex, deep breaths.
"HELLO DARLINGS! I AM BACK!" Mettaton shouts and poses dramatically in the
doorway, which is inconvenient for Alphys, since she hasn't walked out of there
yet.
"ALPHYS!" I shout a little too enthousiast and run over there to hug her.
"A-Alex?" She stutters and hugs back awkwardly. Maybe I shouldn't have been
that excited, since she is jumpy and all.
"The one and only." I smile and let go of her.
"Oh w-wow! It's so g-good meeting you!" Alphys laughs and walks into the
kitchen. "Is everything going as planned here?"
"YES! WE EVEN HAVE TIME LEFT BECAUSE ALEX CUT THE TOMATOES AND SET THE TABLE
WITH SANS!" Papyrus shouts happily and energetic as always. If I won't be deaf
in a few hours, that would be a miracle.
"I believe we met online?" Mettaton asks you innocently and shakes my hand
before striking a dramatic pose again, causing me to bow forward.
"Yeah we talked one or two times." I say. Oh if Jess would know I am talking to
Mettaton..
"mt?" Sans asks, getting the robot's attention. "so Alex is kinda looking for a
job. and I thought maybe you could help her out? I mean we could use some help
in the kitchen and such." He asks.
Wait what? Did Sans literally talk me into a job. I swear if he succeeds I'll
kiss him.
"Well that is true." Mettaton says and thinks for a bit. "You know what Alex?
Welcome to the MTTEAM!" He announces, claps his hands and poses dramatically
again. Okay well I have to kiss a short skeleton now. Also, WHAT?
I just stand there in shock. How the hell am I going to even to this? I mean
can I go on a tour just randomly? "You do want to join the MTTEAM, do you?"
Mettaton asks when I didn't say anything.
"No, no I do!" I smile. "How am I going to go fix how I travel though? Aren't
you guys like packing tomorrow or something?" Fuck how the hell am I going to
do this?
"well I have a two persons camper. you could stay over with me if you like?"
Sans suggests.
Okay fuck this might actually work. "I suppose I could?" I say, completely
bewildered. "If I won't be intruding that is."
"WELL THAT'S SETTELED THEN!" Mettaton shouts and claps his hands. "You can get
your stuff when the cafeteria closes, which is in two hours."
Three hours later, I come home with Jess and begin packing all my stuff. I
start with a blanket and pillow, which were followed by the more necessary
stuff, for example: my laptop and a charger for every electrical object I own.
"I'll miss you." Jess says, entering my room and hugging me. "Make sure to take
a ton of pictures okay?"
"Promise." I smile and let go. "By the way, can you sit on my suitcase, it
won't close." I say and sit down to close the suitcase with Jess on it.
"Wait I have an idea, can I take you there? I can take Jake's car." Jess
suggests with a smug look on her face. Oh I know what she's up to.
"You do realize Mettaton has a boyfriend?" I grin and stand up.
"I know! But I just want to see him so badly." Jess says with her famous puppy
eyes. She grins at my face when she knows I gave in. "YES!" She yells and makes
a victory dance. "Let's get you in a car then." Jess says and pulls you towards
the exit of the apartment.
"Yup. Let's go."
***** Bye? *****
I arrived with Jess at the nearly empty terrain. Undyne was awaiting us with a
big grin plastered on her face and lead the both of us towards a field with
three campers on it. "Jess right?" She asks my friend while walking there
excitedly.
"The one and only." She answers with a smile on her face.
I honestly hope that Mettaton is there for her. That'd be amazing. Well or not,
because she could just rip my arm off from fangirling unintentionally.
The three of us eventually reached the field and were greeted by a stuttering
Alphys, an almost dozing off, but smiling Sans and a hyperactive Papyrus. I
looked at Jess, whose face turned sad for one second. She looked at me and
smiles. "I'm gonna miss you girly." She says and hugs me tightly. I hugged back
and sobbed a little.
She had done so much for me. And now I would leave her for five months. "Hey
I'm back in five months. I'm gonna miss you too Jesserific." I smile and let go
of her.
"Well I'll leave then. Have fun you guys! I enjoyed the show." Jess says and
turns around.
Suddenly, a loud firework explodes in the sky, causing our group to look up.
"HELLO DARLINGS!" A voice said from behind the camper.
Jess looks at me. Then at the camper, and then at me. I swear that she was
clinging onto me in a second and grabbing me tightly. I shot Sans a look. He
only smiled and pointed at Jessica. I look in her direction again, and see her
face. She's sobbing.
Mettaton comes out from behind the camper and walks to me and Jess. He shakes
her hand and kisses her cheek. "Hello darling." Mettaton says.
"M-Met.. Mettaton!" Jess says while not trying to sob or fangirl. She obviously
failed and starts shaking.
"Did you enjoy my show?" Mettaton says and kneels down for her. Fun fact: Jess
is only 5'4 tall, which makes her quite small unlike me, I am 5'8, which Jess
would describe as a 'Tall noodle' or 'a giant'.
I decide to leave her with Mettaton and walk over to Sans. He grins and looks
at me. "Did you arrange this?" I whisper. He nods and continues watching the
snow.
Jess is almost at breaking point I notice. "So darling, I have a special
present for you." Mettaton says and strikes a dramatic pose. Yup, Jess is
sobbing now. Alphys comes walking to Jess and hands her a big bag. "This, my
darling is filled with all the upcoming merchandise."
Jess nods and puts her hand to her mouth. "I hope you like it darling! I must
go now! Goodbye!" Mettaton says and poses, before running away majestically.
Jess breaks down while running to me and Sans. She pulls the two of us in a big
hug and sobs in Sans' blue jacket. Sans seems to be cool with it and pat her
back softly.
"T-Thank y-you!" Jess says gratefully and looks at me.
"Hey don't thank me, thank Sans. He arranged it." I say and look at Sans, whose
cheekbones turn into a slight tint of blue.
"Oh Sans.. C'mere!" Jess says and pulls him into a hug again. Sans laughs. When
Jess pulls back, she dries her tears and looks at me and Sans. "Protect Alex
okay? She's clumsy." I laugh and hit her playfully. "Well it's my time to go.
Thanks. I'll call you every day okay?" Jess says and gives me one last hug.
"Promise." I say. With that, she turns around and waves to the group. "Bye!"
she says and walks away.
"so.." Sans adds, trying to make conversation.
"So boneboy?" I say and give him a nervous look. I'm all on my own now. Well,
not own, but I honestly don't know what to do without Jess.
"wanna see the camper?" He asks and grabs a suitcase.
"Sure." I say and grab the other suitcase. Wow, only two suitcases with my shit
in it. In one, were the clothes I owned, and in the other the more necessary
stuff as in a laptop and all my chargers.
Sans and I walk towards a (really) big, white camper. Sans unlocks it with the
keys in his pocket and holds open the door. "ladies first." He says and let me
go in first. My eyes widen when I see where I will stay for the time being.
On the left, there is a two person's bed. On the right, there is a small
kitchen, the bathroom and a really good looking couch.
"Nice." I compliment him and drop my suitcase next to the couch.
"want something to drink?" Sans offers and drops my suitcase next to the other.
He walks to the kitchen. I accept and he pours two glasses of water. He returns
and hands me one. "well this day was interesting." He chuckles.
"Jesus yes." I agree and take a sip of my water. "I mean like I get a job, get
to go on a tour with my friends and just what?"
"how late is it anyway?" Sans asks suddenly and looks at me.
"Dunno.. My phone is still in my suitcase." I explain and sit down on the
couch. The couch is very soft and sits good at the same time. For short:
Heaven. Sans takes out his phone and sees the time. "it's 3 am already. we'd
better head to bed. you're still a newbie an you'll need your energy." He
laughs and stands up to wash his glass and sets it in the cupboard again.
"Good plan." I agree and stand beside him to wash mine and place it in the
cupboard just like him.
"wait can you drive?" Sans asks and looks at me hopefully. Oh right, he wants
to switch driving with me so that he won't be exhausted all day.
"Yup. You get the time to sit down on your bony ass for once." I laugh and
begin searching for a pyjama in the suitcase. I look up when I see Sans walking
in circles. "Something eating you?"
"ugh, no.. I just have the feeling I forgot something to do but I can't get
what?" He says and looks at me with an uncertain face.
I laugh when I realize what it probably is. "Hmm.. Maybe you forgot to chat
with your internetfriend?" I say and watch his expression turn to pure
happiness.
Sans laughs. "oh yeah right!" He walks off to the bedroom. "I'll give you some
privacy here." Sans says and closes the door of the bedroom.
I sigh and begin to undress. I pull out a shirt with a picture of an 8-bit
heart out of the suitcase and some shorts and dress myself in it. Welp, 5
months sleeping on the couch, here we go! "I'm not naked anymore!" I shout and
begin pulling out my sleeping bag out of the suitcase. Sans enters the room
again.
Suddenly, there is knocking on the door. "DID SOMEONE SAY NAKED?!" A very
familiar fish lady voice says and enters the camper.
oh.
***** Flesh and Bones may break a nose *****
Undyne quickly unlocks the door of the camper and sees me and Sans standing in
or pajama's, heading for bed. "What? I thought I heard someone shouting about
naked?" Undyne says and sends me a toothy grin.
"Dude we were just changing calm the fuck down." I say and laugh it off. This
girl.. I continue rolling out my sleeping bag and placing it on the couch.
"Why isn't she sleeping in your bed Sansy?" Undyne teases Sans and comes into
the camper. Sans just shrugs and laughs. "Oh sheet I haven't even asked her if
she wanted to yet." He says and gives me a comedic wink. Undyne groans, unlike
me, who just laughs unattractively.
"Hey I'm pretty good in bed if I may say so." I say and elbow him. "I can sleep
for days." I grin. Sans' laugh fills the room while Undyne groans again.
"I swear to god looking at the two of you makes me want to puke." She says
disgustedly and gives me a toothy grin. "Okay but the reason why I came here.
We're making a campfire and you two could join if you two aren't too busy
flirting."
I blush and nod slowly, so does Sans. "I'm gonna keep my PJ's on though. don't
feel like changing." Sans says and shrugs.
"Whatever. Just go naked." Undyne responds sarcastically and laughs. "Well what
are you two waiting for? Bring blankets and come outside."
I look over at Sans, who is opening a cupboard and grabbing blankets out of it.
He tosses one to me and signs we should follow her. When we arrive outside,
Undyne is already walking to the fireplace, leaving us behind. "really though,
I could take the couch." Sans suddenly says and looks at me
"Nah it's fine." I quickly say and walk over to the fireplace. Apparently
everyone was there, sitting on logs, roasting marshmallows and talking to each
other. Sans and me sit over to the only log that is left.
"O-Oh there you are!" Alphys says excitedly. "Why are you two in your pyjama's
already? You know we do this every second day Sans."
"kinda slipped my mind tibia honest. it has been a long and weird day." Sans
says and gives Alphys the same comedic wink he had given you a few moments ago.
She nods and leaves the two of you be. I stare at the fire and slowly get
caught up in it. The fire just seems so hypnotizing somehow. I wrap the blanket
around myself and find a comfortable position to sit at the log. You looked
around and saw Mettaton and Papyrus being cute together. That also counts for
Alphys and Undyne, who are cuddling each other silently.
I smile at the sight and see Papyrus getting out of Mettatons grip. "I WANT TO
TELL YOU ALL A STORY!" He suddenly shouts, which makes everyone look up at him.
"THIS STORY IS ABOUT THE LEGENDARY SPAGHETTI!"
And at realizing what he was about to say, you looked at Sans in terror. Sans
shot you a fearful look and stood up. "haha how about we play truth or dare
Paps? we'll leave that story for another time." Sans quickly says and sits down
again. Papyrus gives him a puzzled but eventually gives in.
"OKAY WE CAN PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!" The tall skeleton shouts and sits down as
well. He smiles and leans at Mettaton again. Cute.
"I WILL GO FIRST THEN!" Papyrus shouts enthusiastically. Thank god he saved
Paps from his innocence being destroyed. Whatever the cost is. "SANS.. TRUTH OR
DARE?"
"truth."
Papyrus thinks for a moment and hums. "WHO IS THE BEST BROTHER IN THE WORLD?"
He asks and gives him a hopeful smile.
Sans pretends to think for a second and taps his bony fingers on the logs, and
then answers. "obviously you bro." He smiles and taps his fingers on the logs
again.
"NYEH HEH HEH I KNEW IT!" Papyrus shouts, making Mettaton jump. He probably was
just dozing off. The poor robot.
"kay. uh.. Alphys.. truth or dare." Sans lazily says and wraps his blanket
around him as well.
Alphys thinks for a moment and smiles. "I-I'll go with t-truth!"
Sans thinks and laughs to himself evilly. Oh god what has he thought of now.
"have you ever written a fanfiction about 'dyne where she doesn't know 'bout?"
He smirks and looks at Alphys.
Alphys is a red blushing mess right now. I laugh to myself and clap. "I-I-I-
I d-d-did?" Alphys stutters and hides her face in her brown jacket.
"Dude I have to see that now!" Undyne smiles at her with a toothy grin. She
kisses her forehead and whispers something that makes them both stand up.
"We're gonna read fanfiction about us for the rest of the night! Bye!" Undyne
shouts as they are walking to their camper.
"I think we should go too Papy~" Mettaton smirks seductively and grabs Papyrus
shirt to pull him into a kiss. I look over to Sans, then his fingers who are
practically caving into the wood. I smile and lay my hand on his shoulder to
calm him down. He looks at me and smiles back. We are basically watching his
brother and boyfriend make out now. "W-we should take this somewhere else."
Mettaton says and picks Papyrus up. "Toodles!" He says and runs off.
"Well it's only us now I suppose." I say quietly and watch the fire again.
"you tired?" Sans asks and looks at me with a smile.
"Nah not yet. I'm used to go sleeping around six." I say and look at him back.
"Good job saving Pap's innocence by the way. What would have happened if he
said kinky in front of Undyne and Alphys?" I laugh.
"dunno. Hell would probably break loose." He answers and gets an idea. "hey I'm
gonna get something really quick kay?" He says and stands up. You nod as he
walks away to the camper. Is he going to kiss himself now? Okay no that is
weird Alex what the hell. I just keep staring at the campfire until Sans comes
back with a.. Guitar? "got it." He says and sits down next to you again. This
time, with a guitar.
He begins playing some accords and then sings. "Flesh and bones may break a
nose, and your puns, they really kill me. Flesh and b-o-o-o-ones may break a
nose but your puns, they really kill me." He sung. You laughed and clapped.
"Did you just make that up?" I ask and look at him, smiling.
"nope. I just thought of it today and wanted to type it in the chat, but I
figured this was better. well.. not really better because I can't sing but
anyways.."
"Wow, wow, wow. Just stop there a moment. You can sing really well." I
encourage him. A baby blue tint was plastered on his face now. "ugh how did I
deserve this?" He says and looks at the fire. "I mean like you are coming on
tour now. instead of spending five minutes together, we get to spend five whole
months together!"
"Hey if it wasn't for you, I'd be sitting in my apartment, being just another
insomniac and drinking coffee to keep me awake. "Thanks."
***** Tour life *****
I awaken and immediately notice the breath of someone else in my ear. I open my
eyes and notice that it was light outside already. Wait, I am outside. I then
notice the pressure on my chest and see a certain skeleton laying on it with
his eyes closed and snoring. His legs were tangled with mine and he has his
arms wrapped around my shoulders as he is laying on my boobs.
Great, the two of you had fallen asleep at the campfire and somehow slept like
this? Well I actually thought the couch was fine but whatever.
I suddenly hear a snicker coming from behind me and try to turn my head around.
Of course I see Undyne and Alphys trying to hold their laughs. I give them the
'help me' look. They shake their heads and sit down on a log. Whatever, I'll do
this myself.
I try to get his body off me, but his grip is too tight and he only shakes his
head a bit, being comfortable in my chest. Well this is not helping. "Sans?" I
call out, trying to get him awake. I don't get a response so I look at Undyne
and Alphys again. They both have their phones out and are taking pictures.
"Guys can you help me for a sec?" I say to them, hoping they would hear the
fear of waking him up and being all awkward in my voice. They shake their heads
again and laugh quietly at themselves.
"Sans?" I try again. This isn't going to work or is it? He certainly is a heavy
sleeper. I now notice I'm lying directly next to the campfire. The warmth is
still coming off it, while it isn't burning. "Sans?" I say again, somewhat
louder. The giggles of the couple behind you get louder as well. "Sans!" I now
shout.
He awakens and moves his head in your breasts and sees where he actually is: On
top of me. "u-uh oh god." He says and quickly gets off me. I get up as well and
am not ready to look at him already. "sorry for that." Sans apologizes and
shrugs. "though, that was the breast night sleep yet on this tour." He grins
and pushes his hands in his pockets.
I snicker. "You're unbelievable." I say and turn to Alphys and Undyne. They
laugh as they see your face. "Well we have great pictures now. We'll leave and
let the two of you be!" Undyne says and picks Alphys like the night before and
runs away. "Do they do that often?" I ask Sans and turn his way again.
"the pictures or the picking up and running away?" Sans asks and sits down on
the log again.
"Both?" I ask and hear my stromach rumble. Probably because I havent even eaten
breakfast yet.
"yes and yes. by the way, wanna get something to eat?" He asks and stands up.
He holds out a bony hand which you gladly take and walk towards his camper. Is
it our camper now? I wonder.. The two of us enter the camper and walk over to
the kitchen. "so.. want bread or something?" He asks awkwardly and tosses you
the sac with bread in it.
"Sure." I say and grab a slice of bread out of the sac and return it to Sans.
"have any toppings you like?" He asks. This is my moment to shine. "Oh those
are the yeast of my worries." I say and imitate the comedic wink Sans always
gives me. He snickers. "I like peanut butter." I say and get handed the peanut
butter.
After that you have eaten, you dress up for a new day. By dress up I mean
sweatpants, and by new day I mean that we have to ride for almost the whole
day. Tour life. Mettaton eventually announces everyone is free to go the next
location. Sans and me are the first to go. We talked about this while eating
breakfast and came up with a rather amazing plan.
I would first drive for an hour, and Sans would sleep. Then Sans would drive
for an hour and I would sleep. We will repeat those steps until we are there
and be the fittest couple there. Wait.. not a couple. Friendly couple.
I sit at the drivers seat and put the key in the keyhole in order to start the
car. "By the way, I packed a shit ton of books in the bag with the important
shit in it!" I shout, unaware of Sans' location.
"the blue one right?" He asks back. "Yeah the blue one!" I shout once again and
begin driving off the terrain. "got it! Harry Potter and the philosophers stone
here I come!" Sans excitedly says and probably is off to reads on his bed.
Fun fact: I can actually see Sans reading in the mirror of the car. I hope we
don't die because I'm existentially looking at him. I grin and ride onto a
highway. I'm getting followed by Undyne's camper I notice while adjusting the
car mirrors. Welp. All pressure is on me now.
I yawn and drink a bit of my coffee. Oh hell we will be in for a long ride.
But yeah, that's tour life for ya.
***** Shark movies *****
Finally it was my turn to doze off for a hour while Sans is driving the carvan.
I practically let myself fall on his bed and feel something moving. Little
snoring sounds come from the white thing and I immediately remember he has a
cat.
The white cat moves to my belly and makes little purrs as I stroke his fur. I
quickly fall asleep after a while with taco still with me.
After approximately a hour, I was being woken up by a deep voice. "make room.
it's your turn." Sans yawns and jumps in bed beside me. I yawn as well and
stand up to get some coffee first and then take my place on the drivers seat.
This proces continued for about five times before stopping by a restaurant with
the rest of the group including Undyne, Alphys, Papyrus, Sans and me. Mettaton
couldn't come for some reason. Probably paparazzi.
I walk to Sans to get him out of bed again. "Boneboy wake up. We're gonna get
something to eat." I say and shake him lightly. He groans and places the pillow
over his skull. "five more minutes." He grumbles. "Not today sleepybones! I'm
hungry." I say and pull his arm. "okay okay. jeez woman."
A while later, the five of you are in a restaurant. Just a simple one with
simple food. The waitress comes walking towards us and smiles. "What can I get
y'all?" She asks and smiles really forced. She probably doesn't like monsters
but has to smile from her boss. Welp, deal with it.
"NYEH! CAN I GET SPAGHETTI MISS?" Papyrus shouts which shocks the waitress a
bit. She soon recovers with the forced smile and writes it down. "C-Can I g-get
a club s-sandwich w-with chicken?" Alphys orders and looks at Undyne. "The same
for me!" Undyne says and slams the table with her fist, which also shocks the
waitress.
"Okay.. And what do you two want to eat?" She politely asks while scribbling
their orders down on the little notepad she held in her left hand.
"Oh uh.. For me the club sandwich with smoked salmon." I order and smile as she
writes my order down. The waitress looks at Sans who is grinning. "I'll have
what the pretty lady is having." Sans says and points his finger guns at me. He
winks and I giggle a bit.
"Dude you two are so shamelessly flirting it's making me sick." Undyne whines
and lays a shoulder around Alphys.
"Well I can always eat your sandwich as you are apparently sick." I say back
and grin. Sans bends over the table to give me a high five. I high five back
and laugh. Undyne is giving me a little smile as well.
"SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY?" Papyrus asks Undyne and Alphys. Alphys is
practically glowing bright red while Undyne is grinning mad. "I don't know.
Alphys, when are we gonna marry?" Undyne asks and kisses her cheek. Their
relationship is goals. "M-m-m-marry?" Alphys nervously asks and hides her face
in her sweater.
A few minutes later the food arrives and I thank the waiter. I take a huge bite
of my sandwich and hum in approvement. The others are beginning to eat their
food as well. Papyrus frowns at the spaghetti and takes a bite. "Not as good as
mine I'm afraid." Papyrus mumbles. He can actually mumble? I chuckle and eat
the rest of my sandwich.
Later back in the caravan Sans decides to drive the last part which only
consists of a few miles. I just sit in the passenger seat and talk to him until
we arrive. "Want coffee?" I ask and stand up, deciding I already need more
caffeine in my system. He nods but keeps his eyes still on the road. He's
actually a pretty good driver. I make coffee for myself and him and walk back
to the passenger seat and place the cups in the cup holders.
Late at night, we finally arrive and begin heading for bed as someone knocks on
the door. "DARLINGS~?" A rather familiar voice says. I open the door and see
the one and only Mettaton standing in the doorway. "Sup." I casually say. How
the fuck am I even supposed to communicate with him? He's a superstar and my
boss?
Mettaton holds up a big paper sac and poses in the doorway. The sac is much
like the one he got for Jess, only bigger. "I have got your working clothes!"
He says and winks flirtatiously. Ew. I take the sac and smile at him. "Thanks!"
I say politely. How to communicate with him. Send me a tutorial of it please.
"No problem darling! I will go now, Papy dear misses me~" He says and walks
off.
Sans comes to stand beside me and mimics himself puking. "How come you don't
like him though?" I ask as he is getting up from the ground. "I just don't
really trust him with my bro. I dunno." He casually says and jumps on the
couch, at the place where my sleeping bag is laying. Taco also joins him by
laying on his ribcage. Sans lazily smiles and strokes the white fur of the cat.
He yawns as Taco jumps off him and comes walking to me. "wanna head to bed?"
Sans proposes and looks at me.
"Nah, not very tired. I have gotten like five hours of sleep during the day." I
say and shake my head lightly. I walk to my suitcase and unpack my trusty
laptop. "I'll just watch some Netflix until I fall asleep." I say and get in
the sleeping bag.
"cool. I'll join." Sans says and sits beside me. "waddaya wanna watch?" He says
as I am logging into Netflix.
"I don't know.. A movie or something." I say and click on random movies until I
have found the perfect one. "Ever seen sharknado?" I smirk. Sans shakes no and
I click on the movie. Well let's watch a movie about sharks and tornadoes then.
***** Trapped *****
I woke up by the soft paws of a cat walking on my stromach. I had apparently
fallen asleep on Sans (again), while watching Sharknado. I open my eyes and see
Sans still sleeping. My head is leaning on his shoulder and the laptop we were
watching Netflix on is tossed beside me. I stroke the cat's fur and eventually
end up grabbing the cat because Sans just refuses to wake up.
I place Taco on the floor and go to grab some cat food from the fridge. I put
the cat food into a bowl and place it on the ground next to the opening to
Sans' bedroom. Speaking about Sans, what would he like to eat for breakfast
though? Does he even eat? Does he need to eat?
Well I sure as hell need to eat, so I pour myself a bowl with cereal which I
find in a cupboard. The cereal box was already opened, so I figured Sans eats
cereal. Rocket science with Alex everyone.
I pour Sans too, a bowl of cereal and put milk in both of the bowls. Soon, my
journey to find spoons begins. I notice a drawer and open it, to find the
cutlery neatly placed in it. I would have thought it would be in random places
actually. What the hell Sans..
"mornin'" Sans says while creeping up behind me. I jump a little and almost hit
him with a spoon in the face. "Sans what the hell." I laugh and hand him the
bowl. "I don't know if you eat, but here is cereal."
"look out who you're hitting though. you will become a cereal killer if you
don't be careful." Sans says and gives me a playful wink and sits on the couch.
I open the curtains before sitting on the couch as well and opening my laptop.
Way to be social with your friend. Good job.
Sans also grabs his laptop and sighs. "my laptop is so slow it hertz." He says
and looks at me, awaiting my reaction. I snicker and continue browsing trough
tumblr while attempting to eat as well.
When we both finished our food, we headed over to the camper of Undyne and
Alphys. When we arrived and the door opened, my eyes widened. The room is
filled with anime posters, figurines, big swords and manga. I try to say
something, but have issues moving my mouth. "Like what you see punk?" Undyne
says and grabs my arm to pull me in. Sans lazily smiles and enters as well. "So
are we setting up again?" Undyne asks Sans. He nods yes.
"Oh I think I can help!" I say. Okay what did I get myself into. I'm not strong
nor do I have telekinetic powers. Fuck. "nah, maybe you can help Pap with
shopping. he'll enjoy the company." Sans says and sticks his hands in his
pockets. Saved by the skeleton again. I nod and sit down next to Alphys. "D-Do
you want some tea?" Alphys asks. I nod and smile. She's so nervous, it's cute.
Though, she doesn't have to be. I don't bite.
Alphys hands me tea after it's cooked and Undyne and Sans sit down as well. "Oh
babe?" Undyne asks Alphys, gaining her attention immediately. "Can we speak
about the thing.. outside?" She asks her and winks. Okay I don't trust this.
Alphys nods quickly and quickly leaves the caravan with Undyne.
"what was that 'bout?" Sans asks and lays down on the couch. He's clearly as
confused as me. "Dunno." I answer and wait for the two to come back. This takes
longer than expected, so I stand up and walk to the front door. I try to open
it, but I soon notice it is locked. What? "It's locked..?" I say in confusion.
Sans also stands up and tries to open the door as well. "jeez. they locked it."
"Well yes no shit Sherlock." I say sarcastically and let myself fall on the
yellow couch again. "Why would they lock it though? More importantly, my laptop
is still in our camper."
"dunno. i guess we will have to wait 'till they come back or something." Sans
says and walks to the small kitchen to get something to drink. He opens the
fridge and groans. "there's no food what do we do?"
"Seems like cannibalism is the only option." I say and grin. Isn't there a
laptop or phone to borrow? Thinking about it, my phone is still in there too.
"i first have to get some meat on my bones then. oh wait i found their cookies.
want some?" Sans asks and comes back with a jar of cookies. I nod and take one
out. Sans closes the lid after he takes one himself and walks to the shelf with
various manga in it. "heh. they spend all their money on these things." He says
and takes one out. He sits on the couch and opens the comic. "how am i supposed
to read this anyway?"
I sit next to him and explain how to read manga. I stand up myself and inspect
the huge collection of manga they have. I eventually end up picking 'Death
Note' and read it.
After quite a while, we both get bored and try desperately to open the caravan.
I walk to a window and open the curtains, to see Undyne and Alphys grinning
just around the corner of the caravan. "Sans look at this." I say and point to
the window. He looks up from his manga and peeks trough the curtains when he
reaches the window. "we have to get revenge." Sans smirks. "Yeah." I smirk
back.
Sans walks to the wall they are probably still standing against and slams on
the wall. "OH ALEX!" He shouts and makes very loud moans. I laugh and end up
rolling on the floor. "help their reaction is gonna be great." He whispers. I
stand up and began slamming against the wall as well. "SANS HARDER HARDER YES"
I moan. Friendship goals I guess?
This continues for a good five minutes when I hear the lock being unlocked.
"ALEX IM COMING..." Sans says and walks to the door. "to meet the two people
who locked us in here." He grins as Undyne and Alphys walk in, with camera and
all. Okay this is very wrong. I laugh at their confused faces.
"B-But h-has my ship sailed yet?" Alphys stutters and lays down the camera on
the small coffee table. "dunno 'bout that. but your ship has eaten your
cookies." Sans answers smoothly.
Well that was fun. Being trapped almost half of the morning by a lizard and
fish monster. Now, let's get back to my one and only laptop and spend the day
browsing trough the internet.
***** Nightmare *****
The day had eventually ended. It had consisted of being trapped in a camper
with Sans and I went shopping for a shit ton of noodles and tomatoes with
Papyrus.
I am currently dressing into an oversized shirt with the triforce on it. I
unhook my bra and swap my black skinny jeans for black sweatpants. I had
already wished Sans a good night, so I could just sleep right away. Who knew
that talking to Pap and being trapped could be so exhausting? I got into my
sleeping bag and positioned myself well on the couch. After a little while, I
fell asleep.
 
I was in the same living room again. My stepdad with a knife in his hand, and
my mother with a huge cut in her arm.
My stepdad could be just an ordinary dad, taking the family to the beach or to
a restaurant. But he had this nasty mood changes which often occurred. One of
them, was now.
I stepped in the middle of my parents and told them to stop fighting. My
stepdad didn't even listen and threw me on the ground, shoving me against a
wall and attacked mom. I quickly grabbed the phone and ran to the bathroom and
locked the door. I dialed 911 and soon help was send.
I heard my dad scream at my mom when I came out of the bathroom. My brother
eventually comes racing in and tries to hold my stepdad back. He spat on him
and pulled the boy up, using his hair. The man smirked and stabbed the child.
I screamed and saw white, blue and red lights lit the room.
 
I awaken again, cold sweat is streaming down my face. The same nightmare over
and over again. I have been having these for almost five years now. I wipe the
sweat off my forehead, using the sleeping bag and got out of it to get some
water from the kitchen.
I fill a glass and see a blue glow coming from Sans' room. Should I go in? Fuck
it. I walk trough the opening and see a lamp floating. Sans is spinning and
turning in his bed. He is probably having a nightmare too. Poor guy. "Sans?" I
say, trying to wake him up. He didn't, so I set my glass on the nightstand and
quickly get a glass of water for him for when he wakes up.
"Sans? Wake up!" I say, now louder. He still didn't wake up. I shake his
shoulders lightly. "Sans?"
His eye sockets shoot open. One of them is lit with a blue flame, and the other
one is completely dark. The lamp crashes on the nightstand. He has a terrified
expression on his face. I smile at him and sit down on the bed and give him the
glass with water. "It's okay. I'm here now, it was a nightmare." I reassure him
and smile.
"t-thanks." He says and sighs. "how come you were awake though?" Sans asks and
sets the empty glass down on the nightstand. He lays down again and hugs a
pillow. "I had one too." I simply say. "Are you okay now?"
"think so." He says. "I'll go then. Night boneboy." I say and head to my trusty
couch. "wait.. can you maybe stay?" Sans suddenly says. "Sure." I answer and
grab my pillow and get in his bed. I now note it's quite soft, though I have
lain plenty of times on it.
"ya sure you're okay with this?" Sans asks. "like, we're not gonna be weird
'bout it?"
"I'm fine." I reassured. I slowly eased myself under the covers. A few minutes
ticked by. I already felt warm and shaky. I could already tell Sans was asleep
from his steady breathing.
Breathing.
I actually never noticed that he breathed before. It makes sense. He could eat.
And blink. And do other human things. I wonder if it is a subconscious act like
in humans, or if he could live without it. I watch the lump in the covers rise
and fall.
When I listen closely I could also hear a soft hum, almost like static,
accompany the rise and fall of his breathing. I wonder if that is his magic. My
face felt very warm. I am so close to him. I inched a tiny bit more towards
him, doing my best not to wake him or be weird about this. My heartbeat felt
deafening to me. It pounded in my ears.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
I hope he couldn't hear it the way I could hear him. I don't want to let myself
unravel. I really like being his friend, and if that's all I'd be –my heart
ached at the thought– then that was okay. I shifted so I was on my side, facing
him, and I let his steady breath and static hum lull me to sleep.
***** Yet another awkward moment for the list *****
Waking up cuddled next to Sans in bed was much different than waking up cuddled
next to him on the couch or him laying on top of me next to a campfire. For one
thing, he was actually in the bed.
And another thing, on the couch, the touching was mostly limited to his arm
resting around my waist. What I was not expecting when I woke up here was
Sans's face pressing into the crook of my neck, his leg wrapping itself around
my thighs, and his hand cupping my breast and pulling me into him.
I actually didn't expect him to be a cuddler. Damn. It was really cute.
Honestly, I was kind of half expecting myself to be in his position with my
tangled up in his ribcage or something. But...this is nice. I close my eyes to
get a few more minutes of sleep.
...
WAIT.
My eyes flew open and my drowsiness disappeared now that I realize what an
incredibly compromising position I am in. Sans' hands are holding my boobs. I
start to squirm as my face reddened. Should I try and get out of his grip or
should I pretend to be asleep until he wakes up and realizes what he is doing?
Sans could probably sleep forever, so option two was out.
I try to gently push his leg off mine, but it wouldn't budge. How is he so
strong? I continue to squirm and I tried to pry his hand off my chest,
interlacing his fingers with mine.
Twitch.
I pause and hold my breath. Please. Do. Not. Wake. Up.
Nothing.
Phew.
I try moving his hand again.
"what're ya doin?" he mumbled.
"Um."
His fingers twitch and brush against my nipple. I could feel him stiff behind
me. I cautiously turn my head so I am facing him. His pupils had shrunken to
tiny pinpricks and his gaze flickered between my eyes and my hand over his hand
over my breast.
"DID MY PICK UP LINES WORK THAT GOOD?" I blurt. Idiot.
He pulls back his hand and unhooks his leg as if my skin is burning him.
"sorry." He quickly apologizes. "i didn't mean-"
"It's all right. You were sleeping." I say as he is quickly getting out of bed.
Yet another moment to add to my awkward moment list.
He scratches his skull and stands there awkwardly. I get up as well. "do you
wanna have breakfast?" Sans asks awkwardly, walking to the kitchen and getting
out two bowls as I nod a yes. I walk to the oh so called living room, and get
some clothes which were still in my suitcase to wear for the day. I should
really get a closet or something. Oh well..
I get my clothes and get into the bathroom to change. My outfit consisted of a
black pair of skinny jeans and a knotted beige sweater.
I step out of the bathroom and get the bowl of cereal that is standing on the
coffee table. I sit next to Sans, since he is watching Steven Universe. That's
my shit right there. This episode was one of the first ones in the season,
which I of course knew by heart. "Is this your first time watching Steven
Universe?" I ask Sans. "yup. really like it so far. frisk suggested it to me."
He answers and eats a spoonful of cereal.
After a while, when two episodes had passed, we both finished our cereal. There
was excited knocking on the door, so I decide to open it. In front of me, was
Papyrus, smiling as always. "HELLO HUMAN ALEX! IS SANS THERE AS WELL?" He asks,
no, rather shouts. "dunno paps. am I here or is life just an illusion?" Sans
smirks and appears behind me. Papyrus looks at him questioningly and continues.
"METTATON WANTS YOU BOTH TO MEET THE AUDIO AND SOUND GUYS!"
Papyrus grabs my arm and pulls me out of the camper gently. He actually carries
me on his back to where backstage soon should be. Sans follows and smirks at my
confused face. Believe it or not, but I have the ability to walk.
"You must be Sans and Alex." A voice behind us says. When Papyrus turns around,
I fall of him and quickly stand up. Damn I feel small with all these big
monsters here. The man who recognized us, looks at us kindly. "the one and
only." Sans answers and gives him a lazy grin.
"Very well. Mettaton wanted you to meet us or something. I don't exactly know
why, but here we are." Another man says and does the Jazz hands.
"I'm Jeremy." A man with shaved brown hair says and shakes my hand. I nod and
smile. "Alex."
Another man with dirty blonde hair shakes my hand and smiles. "I'm Patrick."
The third man with long brown hair shakes my hand, but doesn't smile that much.
"I'm Bacchus" He says and steps back. When he shakes Sans' hand, he looks
rather disgusted. Rude.
The other two introduce themselves as well. They are twins with red hair. "I'm
Harley and that's Hayden." One says. I'm probably just gonna call them the
wrong name so there isn't really a point in introducing themselves.
"Well it was good meeting you. What do we do now?" I ask rather awkwardly.
Stop. Acting. Awkwardly.
"I don't know. We met I guess. We have to get back to work though last moment
things have to be done." Presumably the leader, Harley says.
Sans and I walk away from the group. "so we have like six hours for ourselves.
what do you wanna do?" He says and walks forward on the grassy terrain. "Well
we can stay inside and watch a show or something?" I suggest. Wow I'm an
introvert.
"sure." Sans says and grabs my hand. Suddenly, everything is turning and
twisting and I have the feeling of falling. Then, we are in our camper. I look
at him confusedly. "W-What was that?"
"oh I forgot to tell you that I can manipulate space and time. no biggie." He
says and walks into his bedroom to get blankets. He can.. Jesus. "You are
joking." I state and sit down.
"dunno.. am I?" He asks and smirks. Suddenly, my back is on the plafond of the
camper. "don't think I am pal."
I want to say something, but I'm just too amazed. He can teleport, manipulate
gravity and has telekinetic powers. Damn, I have a cool friend
***** Let the bodies hit the floor *****
Sans and I were only finishing our show when someone knocked on the door. "I'll
open it." I say and walk towards the door. I open it and see Undyne with a big
grin on her face. "Ready to make spaghetti punk?!" She says and grabs my arm to
pull my outside. Sans appears outside too using teleporting. Yup, that is my
job. Making an unbelievably big amount of Spaghetti on the nights Mettaton is
performing.
Mettaton performance had just started, so we had enough time to make it. I look
at Sans, who has a weird look on his face. He looks like he is deep in thought,
thinking about something. "Sup?" I ask and see him look at me confusedly.
"Something bothering you?"
"don't worry 'bout it." He says and waves it off. We enter the kitchen and
begin taking out the stuff Papyrus and I brought at the store. Papyrus waves at
us, already fetching plates and cutlery to set on the table when the show ends.
Sans and I begin chopping up tomatoes as Papyrus boils the noodles. "Really
though, what's bothering you?" I try again. I'm worried. "If this is about
today in the morning, I don't care, you were sleeping." I bring up. Shit wait
did I have to bring that up? Again, something I regret saying is added to the
list.
"nah it's not 'bout that." he says and grins. Okay.. well I still regret
bringing it up. "WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MORNING?" Undyne suddenly says, creeping
up behind us. I tense up at her touch. I look at her and she grins. "Something
happened eh? Care to tell aunty Undyne?" Sbe says and tickles me. "Aunty?" I
laugh. "kinky." Sans comments and continues to chop up tomatoes. "NYEH I HEARD
ABOUT THAT!" Papyrus suddenly blunts. Fuck no.
"What?" Undyne asks Papyrus and stops tickling me. "KINKY!" Papyrus shouts and
looks right into the eyes of Undyne. "THE LEGENDARY SPAGHETTI MONSTER!" He says
in all seriousness. "JUST A FEW PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THIS LEGEND, BUT I TRUST YOU
WITH THIS SECRET. ALEX TOLD ME ABOUT IT."
Is this a good moment to laugh, or to cry? I look at sans, whose eyesockets are
completely dark. "uh paps. will you not tell people about the legend? it's
really special." He says and returns to wearing his usual grin. "CAN UNDYNE
JOIN OUR KINKY CULT?" He shouts. Luckily, there is no one else in this
building. Oh god. Undyne is on the edge of laughing. "Alex, will you c-come
outside for a bit?" She asks and picks me up, storming outside.
Undyne sets me down and a howling laughter is followed. "HAHAHA THE KINKY
CULT?" She laughs. I cringe a bit and look at her rolling over the wet grass.
"WHAT EVEN IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SANS?" Undyne says and recovers from
laughing. "We're just friends." I simply say. "And you're in a kinky cult with
Pap and Sans?!" She says and looks at me intensely. "It was just a way to
protect the innocence of Pap. By the way, knowing him, you're in our kinky cult
as well." I say and wiggle my eyebrows. "I'll get to the bottom of this." She
says and walks inside again.
I follow inside and stand besides Sans again, who's still chopping up tomatoes.
"how did it go?" He whispers. "Fine. She said she will get to the bottom of
this." I whisper back and grab my knife again. "the bottom of what?" He says
and shoves the cutten tomatoes into a bowl. "Our nonexisting relationship and
the cult." I simply whisper back and finish the tomatoes. "it could be
existing." Sans says and nudges me with his elbow. "Dork."
"you want this skeleass and you know it." He teases. Well what if I want it
huh? "Dream on skeledude." I say back and flip my hair dramatically. "when I
look in your eyes I sure feel like I'm dreaming." He says out loud and
immediately slaps his hand before his mouth.
I laugh a little too hard at his expression, immediately summoning a grinning
Undyne behind you. "You two should date." She grins. We should. "We are just
friends give it up fishlady." I say and stick my tongue out at Undyne. "I'm
gonna plan a date for you two." She says and runs away. Okay what.
Suddenly, there is a loud sound of an explosion, which makes plates fall off
the counter. I storm out the kitchen, grabbing the sleeves of Sans and Papyrus
and dive under a table. The earth is shaking and loud screams are heard. "W-
WHAT IS THIS?" Papyrus shouts over the sound of the explosion.
When the earth stops shaking, I come out under the table and look out of the
window. Tons of people are storming towards the cafeteria and I see fire.
"Guys.. Come see this." I say with a trembling voice. An explosion?
"what happened?" Sans says, slightly terrified. "I don't know. But it's bad." I
say again. Sans lays his arm over my shoulder in a protective way. "S-SANS I'M
SCARED." Papyrus says and hugs him, taking away the protective arm.
Undyne comes storming in with a terrified look on her face. "Guys? There has
been an explosion. It's looking really bad."
***** Calming the crowd (and sans) *****
"An explosion? What do you mean?" I stammer and look at Undyne's confused face.
"I don't know, maybe a terrorist attack or a bomb. Maybe both. I have to make
sure everyone is all right. Stay in here and help people you three." Undyne
explained and ran out of the building.
I look outside again and see tons of people running towards the cafeteria with
a shocked expression on their face. Sans grabs my and tightly and looks
outside, seeing the flames as well. "this is really bad." He says and looks at
me. "SANS WHAT SHOULD WE DO?" Papyrus panics. The door opens and people storm
in.
Everyone is panicking, including the skeletons. I let go of Sans' hand and get
him to help me up a table. "Everyone, listen." I say calmly. I don't even get
looked at by the crowd. "EVERYONE! LISTEN!" I now yell louder. This time,
everyone looks at me and is silent. "Help out the wounded, if there are any.
Help will soon arrive and don't forget to remain calm. You all are safe now." I
say. I hope we are safe though. The crowd eases up. Papyrus runs to the kitchen
to get the spaghetti.
"HUMANS CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?" Papyrus shouts over the crowd. "I- WE HAVE
MADE SPAGHETTI, IF YOU WANT ANY OF THIS GREAT SENSATION, YOU WILL HAVE TO GRAB
IT WITH YOUR HANDS BECAUSE UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PLATES ARE BROKEN." He says and
places a giant pan of spaghetti on the table.
Everyone seems hesitant to eat it, but they eventually give in and eat the
spaghetti with their hands. "humans are weird." Sans whispers to me. I snicker
and watch the crowd devouring the large pan we had made.
A while later, the police came and told everyone to go home. They asked
everyone a couple of questions and eventually left. The bomb had killed no one,
because the terrain was empty because it exploded in break. They weren't sure
if it was a terrorist, but there would be more investigating.
So right now, Sans and I are cleaning up the kitchen. We had told Papyrus to go
to bed and rest. We were insomniacs anyway. Why not clean up 200 broken plates?
"I told you 'bout timelines right?" Sans suddenly says and looks at me. "Yeah?
What about it?" I ask him and look at him as well. Our eyes meet and we both
quickly look away. "there was a bomb as well in a timeline. the terrorist was
never found though."
"So you are saying this happened before?" I say and look at him again. He is
still dusting shards. "well not all of it. I never met you in all these
timelines on the first hand. I went on tour though. there was this bomber, a
terrorist the police had said. Undyne, Alphys and I wanted to get to the bottom
of these bombings. don't exactly know the reason tough. long story short,
Undyne and Alphys died in an explosion and Frisk reset again. that's actually
the farthest I've ever come in this world." He says with a sad expression. Can
I just wrap him in a hug and comfort him right now? Wait, I can. Let's do it.
So I walk towards him, careful not to step into a shard and wrap him into a
warm hug. He sobs into my sweater a bit. I pat him carefully on his back. "Was
that the thing you were thinking about earlier?" I ask but still don't let go.
Skeleton hugs are the best actually. "the nightmare I had was also about it. I
was wondering if it would happen. I thought not, timelines frequently change.
guess I was wrong after all." He shrugs. I let go and give him a symphatic
smile "You know that you can always talk to me about anything right?" I say and
grab my duster again. "yeah.. I really should do that more. t's nice to get
things off my ribs."
I laugh a bit. After cleaning up, we walk to our camper tiredly. I open it and
get my pyjama's. Sans walks into his room to change as well. After redressing,
I quickly walk over to the kitchen and get some water for the both of us. He
comes into the room again and gladly accepts the glass. "I'm so tired." Sans
complains. "You are always tired what are you talking about." I chuckle and set
the glass into the dishwasher.
Sans grabs the sleeve of my pajamas and pulls me lightly into his bedroom.
"wanna cuddle?" He asks and looks away with a blue tint on his face. "Sure why
not?" I accept and let him be the big spoon. This is nice. And I wouldn't
change that for a bit.
Until a second explosion erupts
***** Mettaton™ Potions™ *****
Sans immediately tenses up behind me when he hears the second explosion. "jesus
christ another one?" He asked no one in particular. "Fucking hell." I mutter
and get out of bed to open the curtains Sans had carefully closed earlier. I
only see a faint orange glow coming from the stage. Shit. I quickly run and get
a sweater in order to not freeze to death and quickly run towards the terrain.
I look around and see flames. Everywhere. "A-Alex!" Someone shouts after me. I
turn around to see a crying Alphys running towards me. "What happened?" I ask
her. "I was j-just there! I watched the explosion. N-No one was t-there." She
says shocked. "Are you all right?" I ask Alphys and look up to give her a kind
smile. "N-Not really. I'm r-really shocked. N-no one was in there t-though. C-
Could it be they w-wanted m-me?" She asks sobbing. Eventually, Alphys breaks
down on my shoulder and I stroke her head awkwardly.
"PUNKS ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" Undyne says while she comes running to the two of
us. "Baby what happened?" Undyne asks Alphys and hugs her, leaving me with a
wet shoulder. "I-I was w-watching." Alphys stutters and sobs in the leather
jacket Undyne was wearing. "It's okay Al." Undyne reassures her and wraps her
arms around Alphys.
"alex! are you okay?" Sans shouts while, surprisingly, running. I stick up my
thumb and look at Alphys concernedly. Sans wraps me in a hug and looks at me.
"don't go runnin' our like that. there could be a third bomb right where we
stand." He says with a concerned face.
"Someone cares for their girlfriend!" Undyne grins. I give her a look, still
being wrapped in the arms of Sans. "He's not my boyfriend!" I protest. Sans
just lazily grins. "Oh good." Undyne says and picks me up. She easily shakes
the skeleton hugging me off. "hey give her back, she's my waifu!" Sans
protests. I blush and get set on the ground again. "You two should totally
date!" Alphys joins in.
Okay how am I gonna respond. Tsundre? Laugh it off? Heck, we should date. "do
you know what we should do? call the firefighters 'cus this place will burn off
otherwise." He changes the subject and takes out his phone. "hey policepants...
yes this is Sans... yes another explosion... five minutes? fine with me... okay
see you." He says and hangs up.
"Who's policepants?" I ask and grin. "oh someone from the underground. he's
cool." He answers and sticks his hands in his pockets. "we'll let the police
handle this one. imma go to bed." Sans announces and walks back to the camper.
"I'll come with." I say and loud giggles erupt from the ladies behind me. I
swear to god.
In the morning, I was still cuddling with Sans when someone knocked on the
door. I yawn and get up to answer it, but Sans pushes me down again. "lemme
handle this one." He says in a sleepy tone and gets up. This normal grin
appears and he opens the door. "oh hey Al."
"H-Hey Sans. I wanted to ask you something. Alex too by the way, where is she?"
Alphys says and comes inside the camper. I get up and walk into the oh so
called living room. "Morning." I say and greet her. "Y-You two slept in the s-
same bed?" Alphys stutters and a crazy smirk appears on her face. The one Jess
would have when she had her so called 'fangirl attack'. Wait.. "yeah. friends
can cuddle right?" Sans says and walks to the kitchen to get something to
drink.
"Anyway, w-will you guys test something for me?" The lizard asks and opens her
leather bag and reveals two bottles with a pink substance in it. "what does it
do? looks like a love potion for all I care." Sans asks and sits on the couch.
"W-Well when Mettaton gets sick, he wanted to have a stand in. S-so i made this
p-potion which basically switches the-" She stopped and looked anxiously at the
two pink bottles. "Basically, why it's pink, Mettaton insisted, so I did some
food dye in it. It should taste like strawberry." Alphys says and looks at me
hopefully.
"sure. I'll do it if Alex is in." Sans says and lays back on the couch. He
strokes Taco's fur and grins at the cat. "If it will help you out, I guess I'll
do it?" I answer. Fuck, wait. She didn't even explain what I'm in for. Bad
idea. Probably magic. I will either die or fall in love with Sans because it's
a love potion.
"Y-Yay!" Alphys cheers. "Sans where are your glasses?" She asks. Sans points to
the upper cupboard (which I cant reach) and grabs two plastic cups. "I n-need
you to sit facing each other and l-looking each other in the eyes when you
drink the cup at the same time." Alphys explains.
"Still sure it isn't some love potion?" I laugh and jump on the couch, making
Taco jump off instantly. "Y-Yes I made it myself, I'm quite sure haha." Alphys
laughs and hands the two of us the glasses. "I'm gonna count from three to one.
At one, you two drink the potion at the same time and stare in each others eyes
as you swallow it." She says. "No further questions?" Alphys asks. We both
don't react and stare at the pinkish drink.
"Okay then.. Tree.. Two.. One.." She counts. We swallow and look at each other
intensely before passing out.
***** More and more embarrassing moments for the list (or Sans' list, it's
complicated) *****
Waking up, I didn't remember having no flesh. I neither remember wearing shorts
and being a skeleton. Before me, was me? I am seeing myself. What is this.
"What?" I stammer and immediately notice that I'm speaking in a deep tone.
Alex, me(?) is also examining her hands and body. "what the hell?" She says in
her tone. But I'm Alex? "wait Alex, is that you in my body?" He, no, she
stutters in disbelief. "I guess I am?" I say and look at Alphys. She is
smiling. "Alphys? What did you do?" I ask her. She claps her hand excitedly.
"You two switched bodies! It worked!" She smiles.
"good for you pal. can i kind of now have my own body back?" Alex asks, no
screw that, I'm gonna call him Sans, because he is not me. I'm Alex in Sans'
body now. "O-Oh of course! I'll get you the antidote. It's in my camper. Wait
here!" She says and storms out the camper.
"this is weird." Sans announces. "my voice is so high." He says with an extra
high pitched voice. "Hey my voice isn't that high!" I protest. "Oh look at me
I'm mister deep voice. I have an amazing voice." I say with an extra deep
voice. He laughs.. like me. Still weird.
"How are these bones holding together though?" I ask him. "It's not like I have
any magic." I say and stick my hands in my pockets unintentionally. I'm already
becoming him what is this.
"ha i have boobs." Sans says and wiggles them extremely. I touch them to hold
them still. At that moment, Alphys comes in and giggles so intensely that she
drops the blue antidote. She yelps. I remember that I still have my hands on
her(?) boobs and quickly untouch them. "uh.. did you just drop the antidote?"
Sans asks and looks at the lizard with a grin. It looks kinda creepy on Alex if
I'm honest. "Uhm... Yes?" She answers. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. "can you make another
antidote or am I permanently having these babies?" He asks and wiggles my boobs
around again.
Alphys' head turns red and quickly replies. "I-It w-will b-be r-ready in t-t-
three days." She stutters and runs out of the camper. "What." I stammer.
"dunno. guess we're body switched now?" Sans says and stands up. "want coffee?"
He offers. I accept. "By the way, you don't have to grin every second as Alex.
It looks kind of weird on me actually." I chuckle. "well that's just me. the
grinnin' ol' skeleton." He says and shrugs it off. "god flesh is so weird."
"Tell me about it. I don't have my flesh."
"I have fleshy parts now." Sans says and wiggles his, no my, eyebrows at me.
"YOU WILL NOT BE TOUCHING THOSE!" I protest and stand up. "By the way, don't
drink too much coffee." Oh god wait. Three days. That's like going to the
toilet at least seven times if I'm drinking coffee. Fuck. "why not?" He asks,
completely clueless. Play dumb mister skeleton.. or human. "Uhm well humans go
to the toilet." I explain. He snickers. "you're cute when you're flustered." He
comments and hands me my coffee. He just called himself cute. What a dick.
"though, how are we gonna fix the bathroom then?"
Wait shit how is he even gonna change clothes. Fucking hell why did i say yes?
"Uhm... you can not look or something?" I suggest. God this is awkward and
weird and no one should have this conversation. "well how am i gonna change
underwear then?" He asks casually and takes a huge slurp of his coffee. Oh god
what. "Uhm.. Fuck what how are we gonna do that?"
"i could just see you naked. it's only flesh i mean." He suggests. What.
Though, it is a good point. He's in the same boat as me and he doesn't seem to
really care. "Let's not do that." I say, cringing slightly at the mental image
of Sans in my body. "well what do we do then." He says. "Just don't look I
guess. Humans kind of value their body parts which are private."
"hey it's not that big of a deal. I'm in the same boat as you. it would be
kinda weird if you just stood up and began stripping" He laughs. This makes me
think. He is in the same boat with me. But him seeing me? Dunno about that
though. Oh well.. "Sure." I say. Okay I'm instantly regretting this.
"you accept? would have thought that you actually would have made a huge
protest." He says. "Well it's easier that way. We're friends. That way, we
don't really have to take showers together to wash each other and not see each
other... Naked i mean. As far as I could see you naked anyway." I ramble. I'm a
fucking idiot, I'm a fucking idiot. Sans laughs. "wait how do we cuddle?" He
asks to break the silence. "I guess I'll be the big spoon? Wait oh my god I'm
taller than you. Can you stand up for a bit?" I ask and smirk as he stands up.
"I'm so tall oh look Alex size matters haha I'm Sans. I make inappropriate
jokes at inappropriate times." I say in his voice and laugh. Now Sans has this
evil smirk on his face.
"Oh look I'm Alex I'm such a tall noodle. I love the cuddles by Sans and I love
Sans so much wow he's amazing I should tell Undyne all about it!" He shouts and
sprints towards the door. No no no no. "Sans stop!" I shout at him when he
opens the door and runs towards the caravan behind ours.
He knocks at the door. Undyne opens with a grin. "Hey Alex! Have you seen
Alphys? Come in by the way." Undyne says and pulls Alex inside. She closes the
door before she notices me, the real Alex.
"I HAVE A PROBLEM UNDYNE, I JUST LOVE SANS SO MUCH!" I hear Sans shouting from
the window. "WHAT YOU FINALLY ADMIT IT!?" Undyne shouts back. She seems fully
serious. How am I going to explain this. I knock at the door too. It opens and
reveals a grinning Undyne once again. "Hey Sans! Alex, your lover, is in here.
Come in." She grins.
As I step in, I get this masterplan. It consists out of embarrassing the hell
out of Sans. "Hey Undyne." I state. "Yeah Sans?" "I got a hot dog. And a hot
cat. And I have this incredibly hot friend whose name is Alexandra Stephane
Parker. You can suck either one." I say and grin. She looks at me in a weird
way. She must not know that we body swapped.
"Sans what the fuck are you talking about." Undyne says cluelessly. "Just my
hot friend Alex. Like she is really hot." I say and walk over to Alex' body,
touch it with my index finger and make a sissing sound. "See, like really hot."
I laugh.
"oh no I think my friend, Sans the hot skeleton is way hotter. Like look at
that skull, isn't he handsome?" He says and looks me in the eyes in a
challenging manner.
Well you know what Sans?
Challenge accepted.
***** Bonegirl and fleshboy *****
After.. that.. we went back to our camper to figure things out. We also had to
ride for the whole day, so I decided that I'd take the first shift. Sans was
doing.. well I don't know. I should probably check though. "Sans what are you
doing?" I shout and focus on the way again.
"it's so d-damn cold!" He shouts back. Right.. skeletons can't feel
temperature. "Come here for a sec then." I say. Immediately, he is standing
right beside me. I give him the blue jacket I'm wearing. "that's better thanks
pal." He thanks me and probably went to sit somewhere.
After a while, It was Alex'.. or rather Sans' shift to take. I call him out and
switch places with him. "seriously how do humans survive the cold?" He asks and
sits down. "Well it's November. I guess you just should chill out or
something." I say and give him a playful wink. "Oh god I'm already becoming you
what is this." I mutter under my breath and leave.
I decide to change shirts, so i walk to the bedroom and search for the ugliest
shirt in his closet. I eventually find one with 'pugly shirt' on it with a
picture of a laughing pug. Oh this one wins. I examine his closet a bit more
and notice.. boxers? Wait is Sans wearing boxers? I cringe a bit at the mental
image and look at his pants. Should I...? I stick my finger between the line of
his shorts and boxers and see that he is wearing actual boxers.
"whadda ya doin'?" Oh god no. I awkwardly laugh and freeze at the voice. "I..
Uh.. was checking if you had a di- I was checking out your boxers. Nice banana
pattern on there pal!" I say. If skeletons could blush, I would be bright red.
Even more red than Alphys.
He laughs and leaves. Another moment for the list. "you know that I am a magic
skeleton and the magic is in your body now right?" He shouts from the living
room.
"Yes?" I answer unsurely and change into the ugly pug shirt. Wait did he hint
that he couldn't spawn a penis right now..? I shouldn't think about this right
now.
Sans taps me on my shoulder and smirks as I turn around. Alex.. No, Sans has
various tentacles behind him and smirks seductively. "You could be in a hentai
movie right now." I comment. Though.. I look quite sexy. NO I WILL NOT BE INTO
THIS. "well you could be." Sans laughs. "I'm so sexy look I'm Alex." He says
and does a dramatic pose like Mettaton.
Right.. the game is still on. "Oh look at me I don't have a dick." I say and
set my hands on my hipbones. "that was a really hip burn if I may say so." Sans
comments. I laugh and let myself fall on the bed. "But seriously.. Tentacles?"
I say, still laughing. "oh i can do a lot more when I'm in my own body." He
smirks. "So you are like a hentai god or something?" I say and raise an
eyebrow.. wait i don't have one how did i raise it. My eyes widened at a sudden
thought. "Sans.. who is driving the caravan right now?"
"well Undyne wanted a break so we all stopped for a moment. want coffee?" He
explains and offers. I nod. He walks to the kitchen and comes back with two
cups of coffee. "freshly brewed for fleshgirl. or no wait.. bonegirl?" He says
and laughs. Sans sits on the bed and Taco jumps in his lap immediately.
"Well hi to you too fleshboy." I laugh. My ribs are kind of vibrating I notice.
I guess those are the perks of being a male skeleton. I let out a deep sound
laugh. "havin' fun with my voice?" Sans comments and let out a really high
pitched voice. "i love sans so much!" he sings. It doesn't sound all that well.
I cringe a bit. "I will love Alex until i die." I sing in the deepest tone i
could produce. "touché."
We eventually finish the ride and begin setting up the camper again. There is
knocking on the door. I walk to it, but it gets opened straight away. "NYEH
SANS?" Papyrus shouts. Wait does he know..? "Yeah bro?" I try to impressionate
him as much as possible. "GREAT YOU ARE HERE! CAN YOU COME WITH ME FOR A
SECOND?" Papyrus proposes. "Yeah of course. I'll say to Alex that I'm with you
hold on." I say and race to the bedroom, where Sans is sleeping. I don't want
to wake him, so i write a note that I'm with Papyrus and I will be back soon.
I come to the living room again and see Papyrus standing with his arms on his
hipbones. "READY FOR SOME BROTHER BRO TIME?" He shouts. I'm feeling that this
won't be the best idea. Whatever I should have fun. "Yeah of course. You are
the best bro after all." I comment and give him my best grin. "Wait what is my
favorite vegetable?" I grin. Oh this is gonna piss him off. "SANS IF THIS IS
ANOTHER PUN I SWEAR I WILL-" "It's broccoli." I laugh an step out of the
caravan.
Well bro to brother time it is then.
***** Chapter 39 *****
Chapter Summary
     someone suggested this so here i love you and i cried laughing this
     chapter oops
Out for some brotime. "So what do you wanna do today Pap?" I ask him while
walking over the terrain. "WE STILL NEED TO PLAN THE SURPRISE PARTY FOR ALEX!"
He shouts. Oh my god I'm sorry in advance. "YOU KNOW HER BEST, SO YOU HAVE TO
HELP." Well I indeed know Alex the best. "Yeah sure."
Papyrus walks towards his and Mettaton's camper and opens the door. Coming to
think of it, I have never been in their camper. I widen my eyes at the sight.
To say the least, it looks Mettatonish. "Nice camper bro." I compliment him.
"YOU HELPED ME PICK IT! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT SANS YOU ARE BEHAVING.. WEIRD." He
says and looks at me. Oh god. "Nah I'm just a little tired." I say and go to
sit on the pink couch. He comes to sit in front of me. "SO WHAT DOES ALEX
LIKE?"
"Oh there are many things she likes." I simply say and cross my legs. "YEAH BUT
WHAT KIND OF PARTIES DOES SHE LIKE?" Papyrus asks again and gets up to get
something to drink. "DO YOU WANT SOME LIMONADE SANS?" I answer yes and get
handed the glass of limonade. "For the party thing, let's do that.. tomorrow?
Yeah, tomorrow is fine, I gotta go now actually." I say. Let's not spoil the
party for myself. I'm a good person. "NO NO WE HAVE TO DO THIS. PROCRASTINATION
IS THE THIEF OF TIME!" He says and grabs me by my shoulder and makes me sit on
the couch again.
Well I tried. We plan a small party with friends and food. I still have to
invite Jess. She can fly under the budget of Mettaton (thankfully). I take out
Sans' phone and unlock it and press in the number I know by heart.
"Hello, this is Jess speaking." Jess'voice says. I could cry right now. "Heyy
J-Slice. Wanna come to my- Alex' surprise party?" I ask. "Sans? Is this you?
How is Alex?" Jess says again. "Alex is fine, don't worry. But wanna come? MTT
will pay the flight." I offer. "Yes of course! When's the party?" She asks.
Shit when is the party? "Hold on I'll ask." I say and look at Papyrus.
"Bro when is the party?" "NYEH! 24 NOVEMBER!" He answers. "It's on 24 november"
I say to Jess. "Cool. I'll be there. Looking forward to it!" "Yay okay bye!"
"Bye!"
"YOU ARE FREE TO GO NOW BROTHER!" Papyrus says. I give him a hug. "NYEH?" He
says and pats my back. "You are a good brother." I say and let go. "WELL OF
COURSE I AM!" Papyrus says, which makes me laugh. I leave and go inside my own
camper again.
"I'm home!" I shout. Sans is still on the bed, now on his laptop. "you planned
your own party?" Sans grins. "oh well I don't have to do it now." He laughs.
"anyway, wanna go out? wait.. like to a café or something. I need better coffee
than the shit we have here."
Like a date? I'm genuinely confused Sans what the fuck. "Yeah sure." I accept
and grab my purse and stick it in the baseball pants. "I'll pay." Sans nods and
grabs my hand.
The same feeling of falling again. Darkness.. and a voice. "Alexxxxxxxx...." it
hisses. Much like Voldemort hisses the name 'Harry'. It gives me creeps. I open
my eyes again and we are in a town I don't know. "Weird." I say. "you'll get
used to the teleporting someday." Sans says and walks to a café with me. "No
that's not it.. I heard a voice say my name while teleporting. Like, it hissed
my name." I say. Sans stops and looks at me with widened eyes. He then walks on
like nothing has happened. "You know about it?" I ask again.
"I'll tell you another time." Sans says and walks on. Well once he says that,
he wont be letting loose any information I guess. We eventually find a café and
enter. It smells like good coffee. We sit at the bar.
"What can I help you with?" A man, with a grey moustache says kindly. "two
coffee's please." Sans orders and smiles at me. The bartender leaves and a man
around the age of thirty comes to sit next Sans. "Wanna go home with me pretty
lady?" He asks. Sans freezes in shock and turns to the man. "no thanks." He
refuses. "Come on pretty lady, I can dive you crazy." The man says again and
lays his arm around Sans.
"Hey fuck off she's my bo- girlfriend." I join in and remove the arm from Sans'
body. "Jeez so she's a monster fucker. What a shame. I could do a better job."
The man says and leaves.
Sans releases the breath he realizes he had been holding and drinks his coffee
once it arrives. "thanks." He says and smiles at me. "No problemo." I smile
back.
Then his smiling face changes into a mortified one. "Alex?" He whispers. I cock
an eyebrow (sort of). "meet me in the bathroom." He says and practically
sprints towards the bathroom. I smile at the bartender, who is looking weirdly
at the sprinting girl. "Be right back." I say, stand up and walk slowly to the
bathroom.
Then it hits me.
Oh no.
Oh fuck no.
I sprint to the bathroom as well. There's only one door, so I decide to knock.
"Sans? You in there?" I ask. "y-yeah?" He says and unlocks the door. Then I see
him sitting on the toilet, not daring to look down.
I was supposed to get my period today.
Oh no.
"uhm." Sans says as I stare at my bleeding body. "It's okay, these things
happen. Don't be terrified. Can you still teleport?" I ask. He nods. "Just
throw some toiletpaper in my undies for the time and let's get the fuck out of
here quick." I panic.
The worst thing?
Sans just stares at me.
So I decide to do it myself.
I get on my knees and grab the toilet paper in a hurry. I roll a good amount
off the thing and whipe sans's vagina. Okay yes that sounded weird. He looks
startled at me, but I'm on a mission. Not getting myself embarassed in public.
(again). Then I roll another good amount of the toilet roll and throw that in
his underwear. "Will you be able to pull up your underwear or should I do that
myself?" I say. So he stands up and pulls up the undies and his jeans.
Then we teleport home quickly.
Alphys is standing in the room, searching for us. She tenses up once she sees
us. "O-Oh good. I-I've g-g-got the antidote." She stutters. "It's basically the
same principe as drinking the potion. J-just sit in front of each other and
drink on one.
We sit on the couch and get handed the same antidote as which Alphys dropped
two days ago. It's blue and smells like blueberry. "Well I'll count then."
Alphys announces. "goodbye boobs." Sans says and smirks at you. If I had a
tongue I'd stick it out.
"Three."
"Goodbye skeleass." I say and laugh.
"Two."
"Goodbye hair." Sans says and whipes a fake tear.
"One."
***** "I read this for the plot" *****
I wake up, lying on Sans' bed with my head laying on his shoulder and his arm
wrapped around me. I also noticed I was wearing Sans' sweater. Seems logic
since I gave it to Sans. When I look around for a bit I notice Alphys and
Undyne standing by our bed, grinning. "Good morning punks!" Undyne shouts and
hrows her fist in the air heroically.
Sans seems to have awakened too and smiles at the sight of his skeleton hands.
"morning." He says with a raspy tone and closed his eyes again. "what are we
doing today?" Sans asks and begins to play with my hair, which feels kinda
nice. Alphys claps her hands excitedly. "W-Well we have two tickets to the
circus, but we have stuff to do, so you two.. together.. as a couple could go."
She suggests with a sly smirk on her face. They are shipping us. "AS IN A
DATE!" Undyne shouts a little too hard. Oh they are shipping us. "Wait will you
two pay the food?" I ask and smirk. "If that means you will go together then
yes." Alphys answers and takes out her purse. "Well I'm in then." I accept.
Free food is good. Quote that everyone.
"sure I'm in too." Sans says. Undyne is smiling like a dork. "GREAT! Here are
the tickets and the money for food. Don't forget to hold hands the entire time.
We'll go then. The show starts in two hours by the way." Undyne says, quickly
throws an envelope and some money on the bed and picks up Alphys to sprint out
of the caravan while giggling.
"so we're gonna go to the circus then huh?" Sans chuckles and wraps himself in
a blanket. "I'm a burrito now." He says and snoring erupts from the burrito.
"Well burritos can't talk." I sass. I'm proud of this burn. "wait do you know
what burritos can do best?" Sans asks and wiggles while still being in the
blankets. "What do burritos do best burrito man?" I laugh.
Sans quickly unwraps himself from the blankets and bends over me, holding both
of my hands and grinning seductively. "well what burritos can do best is.." He
whispers and comes closer to my face. My nose touches the place his nose should
be, and our foreheads are touching as well. I'm just a blushing mess right now.
Is he going to kiss me?
"TICKLING!" Sans shouts and tickles my stromach, causing me to uncontrollably.
"S-Sans.. Haha.. S-Stop!" I laugh again. "I'll stop when you say that you'll
make my breakfast and feed Taco" He smirks. This skeleton. "O-Okay I promise!"
I laugh. Sans takes his hands off my stromach. "nice."
I sit up and look at him. "Though, shouldn't you feed your significant other
yourself?" I laugh. Sans quickly bends over me again. Sans' hands reach to my
stromach before he begins tickling me again. "I'll stop when you say that
Sansco isn't real!" He laughs. "N-Never!" I laugh and attempt to tickle Sans's
ribs. He laughs as well and I quickly get on top of him. "Say that Sansco is
real and I'll stop!" I smirk devishly and tickle him more. "It isn't r-real!"
He manages to say and erupts in laughter.
There was knocking on the door, followed by the door opening with a bang and
causing me to tense up, still sitting on Sans' lap with my hands over his
chest. "NYEH SANS AND ALEX?" Papyrus, who entered with Undyne, exclaimed. Oh
no. Oh fuck no. "sup bro." Sans says and awkwardly looks at his friend. Oh no.
I don't even have the courage to turn my head to Undyne. "DOES THIS MEAN YOU
TWO ARE FINALLY DATING?" Papyrus shouts. Oh no. "uh.." Sans says and looks at
me with the what-the-fuck-should-I-say-face.
"Well you wouldn't want to disappoint Papyrus, would you?" Undyne smirks. This
fucking fish. I blush and look at sans with the what-the-fuck-should-we-say-
face. Sans looks like he's thinking and eventually shrugs a little bit, meaning
he could do it. I myself nod a little. "yes?" Sans announces. "NYEH FINALLY! I
WILL GET MY BOOK AND COACH YOU IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!" Papyrus shouts and runs
out of the caravan. Oh fuck this. "Getting steamy eh?" Undyne smirks and leaves
as well after doing a victory shout.
When they are both out of range, I snort and break down laughing. Sans does the
same and causes me to fall off his imaginary stromach. "Where did we get
ourselves into?" I say between giggles. "I guess we got ourselves into more
free food." He comments and stands up. "Want breakfast?" Sans offers. I now
stand up myself and push him back on the bed. "Hey now, I promised I would make
breakfast. Get your laptop and search something to watch." I order and walk
into the kitchen to get something to eat. I eventually end up with two bowls of
cornflakes (and a tampon inside of me) and get into the bed again. I first get
under the covers before handing the food to Sans, who has an episode of
'Stranger things'
When we're watching the episode for like thirty minutes, the door opens again
and reveals a smiling Papyrus. "I'M BACK WITH THE BOOK!"
***** Sans in a crop top is gr8 *****
"I'M BACK WITH THE BOOK!" Papyrus shouts, interrupting our time eating
cornflakes and sobbing over the series. "oh that's good bro. just lay it on the
table and i'll read it eventually." Sans tells his brother and takes another
spoonful of the cornflakes. "I HAVE NO TIME FOR THAT! WE WILL BEGIN WITH STEP
ONE RIGHT HERE AND NOW BROTHER AND HUMAN ALEX!" Papyrus shouts and holds up the
book like it's his bible or something. It's quite cute. "NOW STEP ONE, DRESS
YOURSELF NICELY." Papyrus says and also reveals a plastic bag behind his back.
"THEREFORE, I HAVE CHOSEN A NICE OUTFIT FOR YOU BOTH!" He shouts again and
throws the bag at the laptop, causing it to close. Okay too far Papyrus. "WEAR
THIS. I'LL BE BACK IN FIVE MINUTES!" Papyrus shouts again and runs out of the
caravan.
Sans opens the bag and gets out a neon dress for me and laughs. "oh my god this
is amazing." Sans snorts. "i kinda wanna see you in a dress though. go change."
He says and hands the dress to me. "I first wanna see what you'll wear and
consider it." I say and snort as he takes out his garments.
It consists of a neon green crop top with 'COOL BOY' on it. "oh my god." Sans
laughs and throws the shirt over his shoulder, causing it to fall on the lamp.
"Okay I'll wear a dress if you wear that top." I say and smirk. There is no way
he will wear that crop top. Therefore I won't have to wear my dress and we will
be both happ- "sure. I'll do that. go change honeyboo." He says and picks up
the top again. "Seriously? Honeyboo? And I thought fleshgirl was the worst it
could get." I laugh and get into the bathroom to change into the ridiculous
dress. The dress itself is bright pink with blue and green stripes. I feel so
fabulous in this, you wouldn't even know it.
I get out of the bathroom, and see Sans waiting in his crop top, looking
uncomfortable as fuck. I strike a Mettaton pose to light the mood, and get a
laugh out of him. "YES POSING! VERY GOOD!" Papyrus shouts as he comes into the
caravan again. "NOW I HEARD THAT YOU TWO WOULD GO ON A DATE TO THE CIRCUS! THIS
WILL BE A GREAT WAY TO TEST YOUR DATING SKILLS! DON'T FORGET TO HOLD HANDS!"
Papyrus says and grabs my arm, to connect it with Sans' hand. "NOW YOU ARE
HOLDING HANDS GOOD JOB!" He smiles and claps excitedly. I smile at him, mainly
because he just makes me happy and laugh. "OKAY NOW YOU HAVE TO GIVE ALEX A
KISS!"
Oh. I look awkwardly at Sans, who looks even more awkwardly at me. I mean, we
are just friends. Sans quickly gives me a kiss on the cheek with his teeth.
Right, how is he even supposed to kiss. "SANS THAT WASN'T GOOD! YOU HAVE TO ADD
A SOUND EFFECT!" Papyrus criticizes. "kay jeez." Sans says. "I ain't
complainin' though." He says and gives me a kiss on the cheek again, but this
time, he makes a 'mwah' sound. I laugh. "GOOD SANS! GOOD! NOW, YOU SHOULD MAKE
SPECIAL SPAGHETTI FOR HER AND GO TO THE CIRCUS!" Papyrus claps his hands. "The
circus is starting in thirty minutes though. I don't think we really have time
for the pasta." I say. "NYEH? THERE IS ALWAYS TIME FOR PASTA! I WILL HAVE IT
READY WHEN YOU TWO COME BACK!" He says again.
Sans lets go of my hand he realizes he was still holding and gets to the bed to
get the tickets and stuff them in a backpack. "you comin'?" He asks when
Papyrus runs out of the caravan again. "Yeah." I say and take his hand. We
eventually leave teleporting and enjoy the show.
When we come back, walking, because Sans was apparently 'too tired from
sitting'. Fun fact, he had stuffed his jacket in his backpack and wore it. He
had teased me endlessly with the dress I'm wearing. I had eventually said that
I would undress myself if he would go on like this. I don't know why that made
him shut up, but I was victorious I guess.
We walk onto the terrain and get greeted by Alphys and Undyne, both smirking at
the fact that we are holding hands. What is so wrong with friends holding
hands? "Hope you two had fun." Alphys laughs. "FUHUHUH PAPYRUS AND I MADE A
ROMANTIC SPAGHETTI DINNER!" Undyne, who is wearing a fake fucking moustache,
shouts and picks up us both, and runs towards her camper. When we enter it, we
see a dark inside of a camper with a table placed in the middle of it. Candles
everywhere and the smell of spaghetti was overflowing. "well I called it. free
food." Sans whispers and goes to sit at a chair. I eventually went to sit on
the chair in front of Sans.
Undyne is still into the room, grinning like a creep.
When we finish diner, Papyrus comes in and smiles at the both of us. "SANS NOW
YOU HAVE TO THANK YOUR DATE." He announces and looks at the book. "GET ON ONE
KNEE AND- OH WAIT THAT IS CHAPTER 88."
"I wonder what chapter 89 is about." I mumble and laugh. "LET'S SEE.." Papyrus
says and throws the book to Sans' head in a reflect. "SOMETHING ABOUT
HONEYMOON." He says. I laugh at his flustered face.
"NOW SANS TAKE HER TO YOUR HOUSE AND DO WHATEVER PEOPLE DO IN THEIR ROOM."
Papyrus says and connects my and Sans' hand again. Insert the lenny faces I
guess. "m'kay bro." Sans says and walks out with me in his grip. "so what do
people in their rooms when they date?" He asks and wiggles his eyebrows. How
does magic bone work anyway?
"Well they do whatever they want I guess." I say and see someone walk over the
terrain. He is looking around him suspiciously. "Sans over there!" I whisper to
the skeleton. He looks over there as well. "it could either be the bomber or
just a really suspicious person planting a bomb."
***** D͇̼̻̙̭̱̣͝e̶̱̲̘̤͎s̲̮ͅt̡̳̤̫̪̱r͖̘oy̷͚͚̮̭̙ *****
We slowly approach the man, exanimating the ground. He has to be the bomber.
Why would he look at the ground like that otherwise? "Shit wait what if he's
dangerous?" I whisper to my skelefriend and just walk with him normally over
the terrain, keeping our eyes on the man. "i have the feelin' I have seen this
dude before." He suddenly says, a bit too loud. The man probably heard it,
because he begins walking away without even looking behind him. "well we can
check out the spot now I guess." Sans says and drags me towards the spot the
man had been digging dirt. There was literally nothing. "weird." He shrugs and
gets up. I won't accept this, so I get onto the ground and begin digging into
the dirt with my bare hands. "wait Alex! stop!" Sans warns me and drags me away
rather roughly.
"What the fuck Sans?" I say and wipe my hands clean on the dress. "what if he
planted a bomb? you need to be more careful. seriously." He says and places his
hands on my shoulder before wrapping me into a hug. "I can't afford to lose you
m'kay." Sans says and hugs me even tighter.
There is a whistle coming from distance. "YOU HAVE MOVES SANS!" I hear Undyne
shout. "COME SET UP FOR THE SHOW TONIGHT THOUGH!" She shouts. Sans groans and
lets go of me. Dammit I was really enjoying the hug. "hey so you have nothing
to do right now right?" He asks and holds my hands. I shake my head. "then what
about you change and go investigate some people. there's a list on my laptop
who were suspects the other timelines." Sans says. "Kay. I'll dress up in like
all black and be like a ninja." I say and show some karate moves. "sure." He
laughs and begins walking towards the stage.
A while later, I am dressed in black shoes, black yoga pants, a black
sweatshirt and I'm wearing a black beany. You could say I'm cosplaying as my
soul. I take out my phone and text Sans a picture of me doing a piece sign with
the clothes on.
Alex: [ Sent 1 Picture(s) ]
Sans: Can a ninja throw a star?
Sans: SHUR-HE-CAN
Sans: I'm so funny hahaha
Alex: pfff
Sans: you look good btw
Alex: <3333333
Sans: are your parents terrorists because you sure are the bomb
Alex: oh right the terrorists
Alex: well gotta stalk Bacchus first I guess where the hell do I find him
Sans: AV room.
Alex: kay kay. I hope I don't get killed bye
Sans: BE CAREFUL
Alex: YOU TOO
I smile at the messages. For old times sake I guess. Undyne went wild when Sans
asked for my number. It was quite funny. The fish ended up learning my number
too and prank calling me though.
Anyway, I leave the camper and run over the terrain as fast as I can (kind of
in an unintended Naruto way... Oh well.). In distance, I see a tiny building,
and I see Jeremey, whom I met when I met the audio guys. "Hey Jer!" I greet
him. Shit wait my appearance. "Hey Alex!" He waves and signs to come to him.
"What's the occasion on?" He asks and takes a sip of the tea on the desk, where
also stands all the technology on. I hope I don't fuck this up. "Uh I actually
was looking for Bacchus. Do you know where he is?" I ask smoothly and lean on
the table. NO WAIT NO LEANING.
"Uhm.. I don't know? I thought he was setting things up backstage just now.
Maybe look there?" He says and smiles again. Do I have trust issues or not? He
is smiling so much I can't.
"I'll look there, thanks." I thank him and run out the small building. I only
had to walk about hundred meters when I reached the actual entrance to the
backstage. Good thing Undyne was being a security guard for the night, so I
would easily be let in. Mark my words, would. "Why do you wanna come
backstage?" She asked me. I froze. Oh I only want to kind of stalk someone and
prevent a bombing, no biggie. "Uhm.. I need to tell Sans something." I lied.
She looked at me suspiciously before humming. "You guys have phones right? Why
not call him?" She asked. "Uhm... Well this is not the kind of thing you say
over the phone I guess?" I say again and shrug awkwardly. Wait does she think
I'm going to confess my undying love for him now? "I'll trust you on that." She
says and steps out of the way.
I quickly walk over to a corner with a ladder and climb it, to arrive rather
high. I could adjust the lights from this point. "Alęx͢xx͏x̸...." I hear
again. The same voice from when I was teleporting with Sans. I stumble and look
around. I see the guy I met with the AV guys. The rude one.. what was he called
again? He turns around and grabs my hand. "Are you okay?" He asks. "Not really?
I dunno really." I say. "I'm so sorry what is your name again?" I ask. Oh my
god I'm such an awkward human being. "It's Bacchus." He says and smiles.
"Alęx͢xx͏x̸....." The voice sisses again.
Static.
The sound of static.
It's deafening.
I see Bacchus' concerned face turn into a one with a horrific grin and grabs me
by my neck. "Alęx͢xx͏x̸." He sisses in almost a demonic tone and chokes me. W-
What? "S-Sans.." I try to shout trough the choking. He is surprisingly strong,
since he lifts me up and pushes me over the fence, making me hang seven meters
above the surface. Bacchus smirks. "P-please.." I whine. He closes his eyes and
lets go of my neck.
I'm falling.
"D͇̼̻̙̭̱̣͝e̶̱̲̘̤͎s̲̮ͅt̡̳̤̫̪̱r͖̘oy̷͚͚̮̭̙"
***** Thank god Papyrus is here *****
Beep. Beep. Beep.
That's the first thing I heard when I woke up in a white room. I notice that
I'm in a bed, dressed in a mint dress. My chest area and right leg hurt a lot.
I notice a skeleton hand in mine, and look to the right to see Sans, sleeping
in a chair beside me. I smile at him, but immediately flinch at the pain and
let out a cry. This seems to wake him up and look at me concernedly. "oh my god
finally." He says. "hold on and lay down, I'll get a nurse." Sans says and
smiles at me before rushing out of the room.
What happened that I'm here though? Wait. Wait I remember. Fucking Bacchus
choked me and threw me from 7 meters high. Thanks pal. "Are you all right?" A
nurse asks. She has curly blonde hair and blue eyes. She's pretty and reminds
me a bit of Jess. "Well does it look like I'm all right?" I say. Okay maybe I
shouldn't be a sassy bitch towards a nurse. "Three of your ribs are broken.
Your leg was broken as well." She says and adjusts his glasses.
"Wait what do you mean was?" I ask with a puzzled face. "There was this
skeleton who healed your whole leg. Like, all the bones in your leg were broken
and scrambled and stuff." The nurse says. I look at Sans in a questioning way.
Can he actually heal stuff? What? Sans lets out a little 'nyeh heh heh' sound
and coughs. Okay so it was Papyrus that healed me. Fair enough. Gotta thank
that skeleton.
The nurse continues. "Your leg is fine, there is pain, sure, but it's fine. It
is easy to treat broken ribs though." She says and hands some tea to me. "You
will just have to remember not to do much exercise the first week. I will get
you some painkillers, because breathing will hurt. Though, maybe your skeleton
friend can help the recovery go faster? He literally healed broken and crushed
leg in one hour." She laughs and looks at Sans with a smile. "Do you want
coffee or tea?" The nurse asks Sans and lays her hand on his femur. "yeah sure.
some coffee please." He thanks her formally. "Yeah no I'm good." I say as she
walks away. Oh my god I'm so salty.
Sans grins at me. "that wasn't nice." He laughs. "You should ask her out! She's
totally into you. I mean she even touched your leg. She's showing signs
skeledude." I tease him. "nah. don't like her that much. and you touched my
femur too." He winks. YEAH BUT HAT IS BECAUSE IM INTO YOU SANS DON'T YOU GET
THE HINT?! JEEZ.
The nurse eventually comes back with a coffee for Sans. "I think you could go
home in a few hours ms. Parker." She smiles at me with a smile that is oh so
fake. "Yeah sure." I smile and get handed a bag with painkillers. She also
fetched some crutches for me, which is surprisingly nice.
The nurse turns to Sans. "By the way, what are you doing tonight?" She asks and
bites her lip seductively. "oh I'm just having a romantic date with my
girlfriend Alex." He says and kisses me on my cheek. Haha take that you nurse.
This is my bag of bones. "But you could do so much better!" She protests. "You
wouldn't want to miss out on this!"
Now Sans gets up and helps me up as well. He wraps his arm around me, helping
me walk. I try to ignore the pain in my chest as much as I can. "nah, I'm quite
all right with this beautiful girl." He says and walks forward to grab the bag,
the crutches and a big, white envelope with 'X-RAY' on it. "well anyway, thanks
for the stuff. we'll pay eventually." He says and teleports.
There's always this twisting feeling about teleporting. I suppose you could say
that it's just like bungee jumping. You jump into a black hole and don't know
if you will get pulled up again. "Alexxxx.." I hear the corrupted voice say
again. Static again.
I open my eyes, and we are in the camper again. Sans picks me up and lays me in
bed. "now you stay there." He says and smiles. There's a blue tint on his face.
Cute I think. "Wait did we really just steal out of a hospital?" I laugh and
immediately regret that, because of the pain in my chest. "nope." Sans says as
he comes back with an ice pack. "i did." He laughs and wraps a shirt of his
around the ice pack. "uhm.. can you lift your shirt a bit?" He asks. Again, he
has this blue tint on his face. WAIT IS HE BLUSHING? Oh my god this is cute. I
lift my shirt until it reaches my bra. He puts the ice pack on my ribs
carefully. I cringe at the sudden temperature drop. "Jesus t-this is c-cold." I
say. "Wait can you give my phone for a sec?" I ask Sans, unable to reach the
coffee table right now. I guess I'll be staying here for a week.
As soon as he hands me my phone, I call Papyrus and ask if he can come to the
camper. Exactly three seconds later, he appears. "ALEX ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" He
asks and sits by the bed. "I wanted to thank you for healing my leg. I swear
that I would have died from the pain if you hadn't." I thank him and smile.
"YOU WOULD HAVE DIED? THANK GOODNESS I DID THAT!" Papyrus says and wraps me in
a hug, crushing my ribs even more. "P-Pap! Ow!" I flinch at the pain. He drops
me quickly on the bed again. "NYOO HOO HOO SORRY ALEX!" He apologizes quickly.
"I WILL BE ABLE TO HEAL YOUR RIBS IN THREE DAYS I SUPPOSE." Papyrus smiles.
"THE GREAT PAPYRUS NEEDS HIS REFILL OF MAGIC TOO!" He laughs and throws a fist
in the air, much like Undyne.
Thank god Papyrus is here.
***** Who took the stars out of the sky and put them into your eyes? *****
After 3 days, my ribs were fully healed (thanks to Papyrus that is). Sans and I
just drove three hours each to reach the next city Mettaton will be performing
in. The Bacchus case was put on hold for a bit since I literally couldn't be on
my laptop without Sans to hold it, since when I'm on my laptop, I always lay it
on my stomach and browse the internet.
Just as I begin to relax, the fr swings open and reveals the one and only
Mettaton standing in the doorway. "DARLING! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" He says and
walks over to me dramatically. "Yeah. It was only three days ago that I broke
three of my ribs and my leg by getting thrown off a platform seven meters above
the ground by one of your lovely employees." I say and sigh. "But I'm all right
now. Papyrus healed me, so I'm hoping the pain would be over tomorrow." I smile
at him. Mettaton has a puzzled look on his face. "Who threw you off the
platform though? And why were you even backstage darling?" He chuckles and sits
on the bed. "Bacchus did? Like I just wanted to talk to him and he decides to
get all weird all of the sudden and nearly chokes me to death?" I say. I'm
still trying to figure out his intentions.
"I will go talk to him. Just stay in bed for a little while Alex." Mettaton
smiles. "I know that I'm busy, and I have been probably been missing out on a
lot, but I'm here if you ever need to talk about something." He says and stands
up. I nod and give him a smile. "OKAY WELL IT'S TIME TO GO NOW!" He sings and
spurts out of the caravan. That was nice.
"he gone?" A voice says from under the bed. "Yup." I say and smile when I see a
skeleton come out from under the bed. "hey I had an idea. It's night now
right?" Sans asks me, opens the closet (Where I finally put my clothes in(!))
and begins searching. "Yeah it is. What about it?" I ask. He eventually gets
out with a book. "wanna go stargazing?" Sans asks and smiles at me. Well how
can I say no to that face? I nod excitedly. "kay. you grab the blankets and
pillows then. I'll get food or something." He says before leaving the bedroom.
I stand up carefully and begin collecting all the pillows and blankets which
were shattered basically all over the caravan.
After a while, Sans gets ladders and places them against the camper. I look at
him with a puzzled face, but get what he means after a second or two. "ladies
first." He grins. "Oh what a gentleman." I say dramatically and climb the
ladder. When I'm standing on the caravan, I have to do my absolute best not to
fall off of it and break another leg due to my clumsiness. I lay down the
blanket we use for sleeping and lay some pillows on it. Sans let himself fall
on the blanket, but regrets it immediately due the hard underground. I laugh at
him and throw a blanket at him.
We lay down and watch the stars. After about ten minutes, I shudder from the
cold. It wasn't really a good idea to be out in late November. "you cold?" Sans
says. His eyes are still sticking to the sky. I see a smile on his face. This
time, a real one. I shuffle a bit closer to Sans and lay my heart on his
ribcage. He wraps an arm around me. This is so much better. "Hey girl. You are
out of this world." He tries. I laugh. Don't dare the pick up line queen Sans.
"Is your dad a thief? Why? Cause I saw him steal all the stars out of the sky
and put them in your eyes." I smirk. Sans laughs and covers his face. "They
call me milky way. Pleasure you cant measure." He laughs. I'm pretty sure we
are waking up the whole neighborhood. "I'm attracted to you like the Earth is
attracted to the Sun-with a large force inversely proportional to the distance
squared. I must be the Sun and you must be Earth, cause the closer we get, the
hotter you become." I wink. "okay I give up you win this round." He says.
"congrats to my fake girlfriend." Sans laughs.
"I have a riddle." I announce. He hums. "I shine when it is dark, I am
sometimes full. When I am, I light up the night. There is a blanket around me,
but often at night am I cold." I say. "easy. It's the moon. you gotta try
harder than that." He smirks. "You're in a cement room without any windows or
doors. The only thing you have is a mirror and a piece of wood. How do you get
out?" Sans says and unintentionally(?) gives me a really nice head massage by
scratching my skull. "Maybe smash the mirror and begin to dig your way trough
the wall?" I suggest.
Sans chuckles. "nope." I think again. Where the fuck do I need logs for? "you
look in the mirror to see what you 'saw', take the 'saw' and cut the piece of
wood in half. put the two halves together to make a 'whole', and then just
crawl out trough the 'whole'." He says simply. "You have too much spare time."
I laugh. "Good one though."
We keep telling each other riddles for the night. It was really fun. Eventually
the day begins, hinting that we probably should get off the caravan and
actually sleep. We pack everything up and promise each other that we would go
stargazing again soon.
But let's catch that bomber first shall we?
***** Parties are fun until Mettaton lets the cake explode *****
I woke up by someone walking in the camper with Sans wrapped around my waist.
"mornin'." He says in a raspy sleepy voice. "congrats." He grunts and kisses my
cheek with a 'mwah' soundeffect. "Thanks." I laugh and remember it's my
birthday today. "want breakfast?" He offers. I nod and Sans gets out of bed. I
remember the envelope with X-Rays laying on the nightstand next to me, so I
grab that and take out the pictures.
Well.. those are pictures of broken ribs.. And a scrambled tibia and fibula.
Looked quite cool to be honest. "waddaya lookin' at?" Sans asks and sits on the
bed with two bowls of cereal. "My X-Rays." I answer and look at him. He looks
at the pictures with the same blue tint on his face. "wow. pretty messed up
tibia honest." Sans jokes. "Wanna have them?" I ask and hand the pictures to
him. "mkay." Sans says and lays them on his nightstand and grabs his laptop.
Wait.
Wait oh my god.
Is giving X-Rays to a skeleton like giving nudes to a human. Fuck what? "wanna
watch something?" Sans grins. Well yes if it's not my bones that is. I feel
violated all of the sudden. What the hell it's just bones quit being so in love
Alex. "Yeah sure. You pick something this time." I say and eat the cereal. Taco
jumps on the bed and lays between Sans and me. I stroke her fur a bit and smile
at the cat.
A loud noise comes from the door suddenly being opened. "SURPRISE PUNKS!"
Undyne shouts, fires some party poppers and comes in with balloons. Well she
sure knows how to make an entrance. "Hey!" I greet Undyne, get out of bed and
hug her. Over her shoulder I see Jess. "Oh my god!" I squeal and hug her as
well. "Happy birthday girl!" She laughs at getting hugged so tight. Papyrus
joins in on the hug. "THIS IS JUST A PLATONIC HUG HUMANS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX!"
He shouts. I laugh as Undyne and Alphys join the hug too. At last, Sans hugs
the pile as well.
After a while, we get into the cafeteria, loaded with balloons and confetti. In
the center is a big cake with lots of green icing. "This is really coo-" I say,
but the cake explodes. "HELLO DARLING!" Mettaton says while stepping out of the
cake. "IT'S ME! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" He says, strikes a pose and wraps me in a hug.
The cake is definitely ruining this outfit forever. I laugh and thank him. Jess
squeals a little too loud when she sees Mettaton. "OH YOU ARE HERE TOO DARLING!
COME HERE!" He says and runs over to hug Jess. I snort when I see Jess' face.
She's sobbing and smiling at the same time. Much like the time I decided to go
on tour.
"Who wants cake?" Mettaton says and looks at the exploded cake. "Ehm.. I'll get
another one. Stay here darlings! This party is going to be absolutely
fabulous~!" He announces and runs out of the building.
"welp. time for presents then?" Sans asks the whole group and you were
blindfolded in less than a second by Undyne. "the legendary spaghetti monster."
Sans whispers. I laugh a little too loud and let out an unattractive snort.
Undyne un-blindfolds me after a while and I see a few presents laying on the
table. I smile. "Thank you guys." I say and hug everyone of my friends (maybe a
little too tight.. oh well)
"WELL OPEN THEM ALEX! I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO OPEN MINE!" Papyrus shouts and
claps his hand excitedly. I walk over to the present which is probably signed
by Papyrus. The handwriting is in.. Papyrus. Of course. "YES!" Papyrus shouts.
I unpack it and see it's a 'How to Spaghetti 101 book'. "Nahw thank you
Papyrus!" I say and hug him.
"MINE AND ALPHY NEXT!" Undyne says, runs over to the table with presents and
hands me a big, blue wrapped present. I unpack it and see a sword and a bottle
of wine. "YOU CAN DRUNKENLY FIGHT NOW!" Undyne laughs and gives me a hug. "B-By
the way.. It's a katana and it's real so you b-better be careful with it."
Alphys laughs.
"Now mine!" Jess says and hands her gift. I smile and unwrap it. The present
consists basically of a pile of fandom merchandise. We have a Harry Potter
sweater, Twenty one pilots shirt and some sweatpants with the Attack on titan
logo on it. I hug and thank her.
"it's not much, but try mine." Sans suggests at last. I pick up the messily
wrapped (probably book) and unpack it. It's a joke book. Of course Sans. I
laugh. "Are my jokes that bad." I say and turn to Sans. He snickers. "well
maybe look inside the book." he says. I open it and notice the whole book is
cut out and there is a necklace with a blue diamond laying in the middle. "It's
beautiful!" I say and stand up to hug him. "happy birthday boo." He says and
kisses my cheek with a 'mwah' sound.
"OH MY GOD ARE THEY DATING?" Jess screams. Oh no Jess. "Uhm.." I say awkwardly
and look at Undyne, who looks at Papyrus' hopeful face. "Yes?" I say. I already
regret this. "You two are literally the cutest thing." Jess squeals and hugs
the both of us.
"Now let's party punks!"
***** this isn't fanservice i swear *****
Chapter Notes
     THIS WAS WRITTEN IN UNDYNE'S POV
Alex' birthday party had.. Escalated. At nighttime, we had moved into a bar in
the city we were staying in. The bar was a monster - human bar, so no worries
about discriminating pieces of shit.
"Do you guys want something?" Alphys asks me. I smile at her. "Only a kiss from
my favorite dinosaur." I say, wiggle my eyebrows and kiss her. Her face
immediately reddens, causing me to laugh. "A beer is fine. Get Jess one too
Alphy." Jess joins in. "You two are so cute I can't even." She laughs.
The party has been going nicely so far. It wasn't a real surprise party due the
fact Alex planned it while being in Sans' body. Everyone heard that after
Papyrus and Alex planned it. Oh well, the party has been fun so far.
Alphys comes walking back with three beers in her claws and hands one to me.
"L-Look at your right!" She snickers. I turn my head to the right and see Sans
and Alex (very drunkenly) dancing with each other. "We should totally head over
there!" I laugh. Alphys and Jess nod, both determined and Alphys grabs my hand
before walking over to the two.
"Nice party eh?" I say, opening a conversation. I look at Sans, then Alex and
laugh. "Wow you guys are drunk." Jess comments. Alex speaks up. "I-I'm not
drunk. Let's get a tattoo." She says and attempts to run away, only to get
pulled back by Sans. "I'd rather give you a kiss." He says, drunkenly as well
and begins making out with her.
Alphys looks at me with the same face I'm giving her. This is the oh-my-god-
our-ship face. Jess squeals and we attempt to turn around, letting them make
out in peace. Loud moans erupt from Sans and Alex, who are still making out. "I
want you so bad." moans Alex. Oh god. "i need you." Moans Sans and begins
touching her waist. "now let's take this somewhere else, shall we?" He smirks
and walks out of the bar with Alex, not even looking at us.
"S-Should we do something?" Alphys questions. "Uhm.. Well I don't know?" I say.
"We could follow them?" I suggest and take Alphys' hand and guide her out of
the bar Jess follows with a grin on her face. I wave a quick goodbye to the
bartender and get greeted by the cold air. Alphys catches a glimpse of the
dress Alex had been wearing and runs towards them. We only see them teleport
away. "Well fuck." She swears. "What should we do?" I question.
"O-Okay so d-do you remember that anime we watched.. T-the one where the
friendship becomes all awkward after t-they hook up?" Alphys suggests. "Fuck
yes I remember that one."
"W-Well maybe we should go home and k-kind of separate them after they are done
d-doing-" Alphys stutters and her face reddens. "How long of a drive is it
again? I slept while you were driving." Jess says and scratches her head. "An
h-hour? We couldn't find any monster friendly bars nearby." She says.
"Well hop on then, because I'm gonna run. It's faster that way." I say and lift
both of the girls up my back. "Are you sure?" Alphys asks me. I kiss her
forehead and smile. "Heck yes! Let's do it!" I laugh and heroically throw my
fist up the air before running into the night.
When we eventually reached the terrain, I'm nearly out of breath. Alphys gets
of my back first and grabs my hand. She smiles and begins walking (thank you
Alphy) towards the campers. The lights are still on at Sans' and Alex' camper,
so we check the door for any sound and enter when we hear no sound.
"They are asleep." Alphys says and walks over to the bed. "A-And naked." She
stutters as her face reddens. "What should we do with them?" I ask her. She is
the genius out of us. "W-Well separate them?" Alphys suggests.
"Maybe dress them as well?" Jess blends in. "You can pick something for Alex
and dress her then. I'm not touching those two!" I say and laugh. "Ew what if I
would be dressing Sans and he wakes up?" I laugh and cringe at the mental
image.
"Oh my god guys I just had the greatest idea. What if we pull out those Mew Mew
Kissie Cutie dresses and dress them in that?" Alphys laughs. "Yes let's do
that!" Jess laughs as well. I toss the keys to Alphys and let her get the
dresses. I'd probably rip them apart by accident anyway. "So you wanna dress up
Sans?" Jess winks. "Only if my cutie dinosaur haves a wig which I could dress
him in." I laugh.
A few moments later, Alphys comes back with a blonde wig and two schoolgirl
outfits. Well I'm screwed I guess. Jess nods at Alphys when she gets handed the
clothes and walks over to Alex. Wait maybe I should help. I lift her out of
bed, not remembering she is naked. Shit she is hot. I look at Jess, who is
pulling the dress over her head carefully. I let her sit on the bed and let
Jess finish. "Should we move her somewhere differently?" Alphys asks nervously.
I pick up Alex again and move her over to the couch. "Done." I simply say and
walk over to Sans.
"Oh boy." Jess says. I pick Sans up and stare at him. Well it's bones I guess.
I grab him by his ribs for better balance, earning a low moan from him. I
almost drop him out of shock. Alphys laughs. "I g-guess ribs are sensitive."
She comments. Jess quickly pulls the dress over him and I lay the skeleton down
on the bed as fast as possible. I grab the wig and apply it with some 1-day
glue Alphys created. It's supposed to stick for one day and then dissolve. The
three of us smirk and give each other a high five before returning to our
caravan.
This is going to be a great morning
***** A riddle from hell *****
"Sans what the fuck?!" I shout when I see myself in the mirror. I'm wearing a
bright pink school uniform with ribbons and such. Okay what happened last
night. Right after thinking that, I immediately throw up in the toilet.
After that adventure, I walk over towards Sans' bed. I didn't sleep in there
because I apparently crashed on the couch. Well goodbye memories of the
birthday night I guess. "Sans?" I say and pull the covers of the bed off him.
Wow since when did I become so cruel? "ngh.." He mumbles and pulls the covers
up again. I see a fraction of something blond sticking out under the covers, so
I jump on the bed and pull it.
Turns out, Sans is wearing a blonde wig and the same uniform as me, only in
blue. "what the fuck?" He mumbles and touches his head. Sans' eyes open when he
feels hair. He looks at me and laughs. "you look cute, what are you wearing and
why?" He laughs. "Well look at yourself first boneboy." I grin. Sans looks down
and spots himself in the blue school uniform. "oh what the hell?" he says and
tries to pull the wig off his head. "'ts not comin' off." He mumbles and winces
when he pulls again. "Wait let me try." I say and grab his wig. "jeez someone
glued it to my skull." Sans says and swears when I pull too hard. I apologize
and look at him. He looks at me too, and at that moment we realize something.
"Undyne." We say in unison and rush out the caravan.
We practically kick down the door of their caravan and storm in. Undyne, Alphys
and Jess are all sleeping on the couch. "okay who glued this to my head?" Sans
says and points to his head. Undyne wakes up and cackles in laughter. "ALPHYS,
JESS WAKE UP THIS IS GOLDEN!" She shouts, waking up the two other girls. Jess
is the first to laugh, really, really hard. "Matching outfits. Relationship
goals." She laughs. Oh boy do I regret coming in here. "I-It's my one day glue.
It will come off tonight around one am." Alphys says and laughs a bit. "C-Can
we have b-back our cosplay though?" She asks. "i dont know, can you?" Sans says
in return. Oh if that dude had sunglasses and ears, he could have put them on
right now.
After a while, Sans and I come home. We both undress into our actual pajamas
and lay on bed to watch friends on Netflix. Sans snuggles with me and blames it
on the hangover he's having. "skeletons always get really tired after a
hangover." He says. I put my arm around his shoulder in order for him to lay
well.
"so do you remember anything from last night?" Sans asks when we're in the
middle of an episode. "Not one bit. You?" I say and begin stroking his hair
like I would stroke Taco's fur. "nope." He says and yawns. "you're comfortable
to lay on." He laughs. I laugh as well. "Yeah sure, make excuses for using my
boobs as pillows." I laugh. I'm only allowing this because I'm tired. "Can I
braid your hair?" I ask. Wait I don't know how to. "yeah sure." He accepts. And
so begins my struggle to figure out to braid hair since I have always had short
hair.
By the thought of having to cook spaghetti tonight, I groan and begin to drift
off. "I honestly can't see any more spaghetti. How do you keep up with eating
Spaghetti for dinner every night?" I say and look at him. He turns around, so
that we are almost nose (which he doesn't have, but if he had, they would
touch) touching. "just drench the shit in ketchup." He says and smiles at me.
He has such a cute smile I can't.
When Sans and I come into the kitchen, Undyne grins at us. "Nice hair
Sansyboy." She says and throws a couple of tomatoes at him, who he carefully
doges and catches with his teleknetis. "ya shouldn't really be throwing these
at people." He says an fires them back at Undyne. "get dunked on sucker." Sans
grins and grabs a knife to cut tomatoes. I walk to the freezer to get some meat
for the meatballs. I get the meat and grab a plate to roll them and throw them
in a pan when they're done.
"Welcome, welcome." sounds from the speaker hanging on the ceiling in the
corner. "How nice that you are already working. I will not introduce myself."
The screwed up voice says. "Recently there have been various bombings. Now
let's play a game." It says again. Honestly, I'm scared. I look at Sans, who is
staring at the speaker. "To find out where the next bombing will be, you will
only have to solve this riddle." It says. I shuffle towards Sans and grab his
hand. I know he has gone trough this one time, this time should be less
terrible now that I am here. "Listen carefully. I'm not a pool, a tree, a
slave, a website or a shirt. What am I?" He says. "I will give you three days
before the bomb will explode. Good luck." I look at Sans, who looks at me with
a questioning face. "the riddle changed." He says shocked.
Okay you know what? Heck, this is going to be hell.
***** Manga is always helpful, trust me *****
"The riddle changed?" I say in distress when I enter the camper with Sans after
spaghetti making. "yeah. i have a document on my laptop with all the riddles
from last time." He says and goes to the bedroom to get his laptop. I sit on
the couch and open my laptop as well.
'I'm not a pool, a tree, a slave, a website, or a shirt. What am I?' I type
into a document. "I'm not a pool, a tree, a slave, a website, or a shirt." I
repeat what seems like five times. Sans sit next to me and I look at his
laptop. A few riddles are there, all pointing to locations. "How the fuck are
we going to figure this out in only three days?" I mutter. "dunno. just waiting
for a miracle or something." He says and types the riddle into the document.
"the guy says he isn't a tree. does that mean he's made out of tree then?" Sans
mutters.
"Paper?" I say and look at him. He writes it down. "one down I guess. what does
he mean with a website though. the last one was made out of paper, but you
can't make something out of a website right? or does he mean social media?"
Sans mutters and throws his head backward. "ugh I don't wanna deal with this
shit." He says and lays his head on my shoulder.
The door bursts open. "GUYS ALPHYS IS A GENIUS!" Undyne shouts and rushes into
the camper. "So I told the riddle to her, and she got something out of it?"
This made me and Sans look up at Undyne. "well what's the answer?" Sans says
and gestures, ready to type. Alphys came into the camper too. "W-Well I didn't
figure it out completely, but I figured out the tree part."
"we figured out that one already. 's paper." Sans casually says. "O-Oh." Alphys
says and sits down. "You did good though. Thanks." I say and smile at the
lizard. "N-No problem." Alphys says when she gets handed a glass of water by
Undyne, who sits on the couch as well.
"okay so where were we?" Sans asks me. "Social media?" I say. "oh right. so we
figured that paper is made out of trees. but what are websites, slaves, shirts
or pools made out of?" He questions himself. "i mean like slaves are made out
of flesh. maybe meat? nah that wouldn't make sense since paper is there." Sans
mumbles and groans.
"Wait don't think about what they are made out of, but what they make
together." I say. "O-Oh! Like slaves make a... uh.." Alphys says and frowns.
"Slaves make a group, owned by their owner. They are bound." I smirk. "you are
a genius Alex!" Sans smiles. "paper that is bound.. a book?" Sans says.
"W-Well we won't be entirely sure if we don't figure out the other ones."
Alphys says. Undyne is just staring at us like we are three other species. "God
isn't it obvious?!" She shouts and stands up. She grabs a manga, laying on the
counter. "Papers that are bound, a manga has pages. It's not a website, but it
has pages." She says and lays the manga in front of us. "It's not a shirt, but
it has a sleeve." Undyne continues.
"and the pool?" Sans asks. "Well what are we missing? It's the cover. It's not
a pool, but it has a cover for when it rains. Though, you shouldn't really put
your book outside." I say.
Everyone is silenced for a minute and looks at each other with a big grin. The
one mad scientists have when they figured out their solution. "So the answer is
a book?" Undyne says. "Yes of course it is!" Alphys continues. "we'll see
tomorrow if there's a library around after the drive." Sans speaks. "Can't you
and Alex teleport there and see if there is one?" Undyne suggests. "nope. can't
teleport to places I haven't been to." He answers. "Kay. We'll go tomorrow
then. We gotta have a cool name for our bomb-detaching group though." Undyne
says, picks up Alphys and stands up. "We're going to bed. See you guys later!"
She says and runs out of the caravan.
I stand up as well and get another glass of water. "welp. we just solved a
mystery." Sans says and stands besides me to grab a glass as well. "You should
write it down. Let me get drinks." I say and look at him. He nods and grabs his
laptop. When I come back, I see that Netflix is already opened. "you wanna stay
awake and watch Friends?" Sans smiles and grabs the glass of water from my
hand. "Yeah sure." I say and sit down next to him.
He rests his head on my shoulder and is fast asleep after five minutes in. I
close the laptop and lay it on the coffee table and close my eyes as well. I
only have to concentrate on his soft snoring for me to fall asleep as well.
***** *muffled screams from distance* *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Waking up with a skeleton wasn't even weird for me anymore. Weird for me was
though, when I woke up on the couch without a skeleton to hold me. I stand up
and look in the bedroom. No skeleman there. I open the curtains and see it's
still dark. It would be around 3 am I suppose. Looking outside some more, I
eventually spot a skeleton with a blue hoodie, standing with his hands in his
pockets and staring at the sky.
I walk to the front door and open it, to rush to the spot where Sans is
standing. "Hey." I say and touch his shoulder lightly, causing him to turn
around with a shocked expression on his face. "hey." Sans replies. "So what is
a skeleton doing at presumably 3 am outside all on his own?" I grin and look up
to see the stars. There were quite a few actually, the sky is completely clear.
"dunno. what's a human girl doing at presumably 3 am outside all on her own?"
Sans smirks. "Answer my question bonehead." I grin and look at him.
"'s nothing." He says and looks at his slippers. "Hey didn't we agree to talk
to each other if something is wrong?" I say and look at him. Sans is looking
quite sad actually. "There's obviously something." I conclude. There comes a
little sound from Sans' mouth. It's a sob I realize. I don't even hesitate and
wrap my arms around him. He wraps his arms around my waist and sobs in the
shirt I'm wearing. Coming to realize, a shirt and some sweatpants aren't the
best clothes to wear outside on a cold november night.
I pat his back (or spine) and whisper "it's okay." several times. Eventually
the sobbing lessens and he looks at me. "how did I deserve you?" He asks. I
look at him and smile. "Only a couple of pickup lines and bad puns and I was
in." I laugh.
Sans looks at me, smiling face as ever. He moves forward and then closes the
gap between us. He places his teeth on my lips and kisses me very lightly. Holy
fucking crap he is kissing me. I close my eyes and return the kiss, just as
lightly as he did. Sans decides to deepen the kiss while I lay my hand on his
waist. I can smell the cologne he is wearing. It's the scent of something
comfortable what I can't place my tongue on. Mainly because it's tangled with
Sans's tongue. WAIT. Crap okay he is pulling a twilight on me.
We eventually break for air and look into each others eyes. "sorry for tha-
" Sans tries to say, but before he could finish his sentence I kiss him again.
This time more passionately and smile while kissing. We relax and I touch his
cheekbone a bit. Sans and I break the kiss and smile. "thanks." Sans grins. His
face couldn't be any more smug to be honest. "Bonehead." I say and poke him.
"Get inside before you freeze your skeleass off." I laugh and grab his hand to
get inside again. "and you are cute." Sans says and touches my nose. I can feel
myself blushing, so I get to the kitchen, turn my back to him and get a glass
of water. I finish it and yawn. "wanna head to bed?" Sans asks.
I nod and walk over to my side (yes I have officially claimed a piece of his
property) and get under the sheets. Sans gets into bed again and cuddles
against me. We make small talk for a few minutes. "Am I completely delusional
or is there something between us?" I suddenly ask (and completely regret it). I
hear Sans snicker behind me. "well ya ain't delusional." He says and lays his
leg over mine and rubs it slightly. "i mean like I sort of really like you."
Sans mumbles, just loud enough for me to hear.
I turn to him and smile. "Well I sort of really like you too bonehead."
Chapter End Notes
     "he's pulling a twilight on me" had me dead
***** It's always fun with Undyne *****
"HE KISSED YOU?!" Undyne practically swooned with a big smile on her face.
We decided that I would be in Undynes camper for the ride, and Alphys in Sans'.
I blush and look out of the window. Undyne is driving and I'm in the drivers
seat. "Yup." I say. "DONT 'YUP' ME! I WANT DETAILS!" She shouted and
accidentally honked. I snicker. "I'm serious give me details." Undyne winks.
"Okay well uh.. Okay yes. We fell asleep on the couch after watching friends
and then I woke up alone. Sans was outside. He probably had a nightmare. I
don't know we talked and we kissed a couple of times." I say and hide my face
in my hands. "WAIT A COUPLE OF TIMES?" Undyne repeats and cackles with
laughter. "Anyway, want something to drink?" I attempt to change the topic.
"Nope you are staying here and tell me details."
And so I ended up telling Undyne about the tongue Sans has (which resulted in
laughter and jokes), and how we basically confessed to each other. "Dude why
aren't you in a camper with your bonedaddy?" Undyne says. I laugh (a bit too
hard). "Nope that's weird. That name is absolutely ridiculous. I'll just go
read something in the living room." I say and stand up. I walk to the living
room and grab my phone. So far for reading I guess.
1 new message(s) from: Sansy
Sansy: sup
You: YOU KNOW WHATS UP PUNK
Sansy: hi undyne
You: FUHUHU
Sansy: you are alex
You: fuck how did you know
Sansy: I'm cool i just know
You: well hi cool I just know, im alex
Sansy: i hate you
You: pffffffffffff sure whatever you say
Sansy: i could teleport 2 u you know
You: pffffffffff
You: pfffffffffffffffffffff
Sansy: what ur a baloon now?
You: uh
You: yes
You: I'm a balloon now hi
Sansy: WELL HI A BALLOON NOW HI IM SANS
You: i just made that joke you're so unfunny
Sansy: and ur cute
You: <3333333333
Sansy: ur dad must be a drug dealer, cus ur dope
You: wow that was cheesy
You: apart from the fact that my dad moved away when he heard my mother was
pregnant with me, it was a good pick up line
Sansy: oh
Sansy: sorry
You: nah dont be
Sansy: are your friends terrorists because you sure are the bomb
You: .......
You: okay ill give you credit for that one
Sansy: ha
"Is it your turn yet?!" Undyne shouts from the drivers seat. "Don't know!" I
shout back. "Do you want to switch?" I ask her. "Wait what are you doing right
now?" She shouts. I should just walk over there but I'm laying quite
comfortably right now. "Uhm.. Texting Sans." I answer. Undyne cackles in
laughter. "Return to what you were doing with your lover! I'll drive." Undyne
yells. I return to my phone again.
Sansy: bae u there
Sansy: did you crash or something
Sansy: what
You: undyne asked if i wanted to switch. after telling that i was texting you
she said she would drive
You: score
Sansy: nice
Sansy: so she is like driving rn?
You: i don't know. is she
You: vocaloids are blasting out of the speakers oml
Sansy: hold on
You: k
I look up from my phone and lay it down on the couch. I walk towards the
fridge, get a can of soda and pop it open. I drink a bit and begin the search
for cookies. Suddenly, there appear two hands on my shoulders, causing me to
shake and throw a bit of the soda over the person behind me. "jeez. getting
this out of my shirt will be soda-pressing." Sans says and kisses my cheek.
"Want one too?" I offer, open the fridge and throw a can at him. "y'know, I
once told a joke, and seven people liked it." He grins. "i got seven ups." Sans
laughs. I snort and grab a towel to dab the soda out of his shirt.
Suddenly, Sans kisses me again. I practically melt and return the kiss. I let
go of the towel and lay my arms on his shoulders. He lays his arms on my waist
and licks my bottom lip, asking for permission. I deny playfully, immediately
getting swung over by Sans and resulting into sliding his tongue in my mouth.
After a good period of making out, we hear laughter behind us. Oh no. Fuck no
why me. "The punks are canon!" She shouts and throws her arm victoriously in
the air. I look at Sans, who is as flustered as me and shrugs. "Good thing that
I have pictures." Undyne laughs. Why. "By the way, we are here." She says.
"Didn't we have a bomb to defuse in one day?"
I nod and open the camper, still holding hands with Sans. Alphys is waiting in
front of our camper with the biggest grin on her face. "S-So you guys are l-
like a thing n-now?" She stutters and flushes red. "Uhm.." I say and look at
Sans. He looks just as lost as I do. Ugh these people. "dunno. but what I do
know is that we have to get to a place with a lot of books." Sans says and
casually changes the subject. Smooth going. "Y-Yes! Let's see if there's a
library or something." I say and so we begin our search. Time to solve a crime!
***** B O O M *****
After five hours of searching, turns out that there isn't a library on the
terrain. Neither is there in the city we are close to. "what the hell are we
suppose to do now?!" Sans says and begins walking in circles. "books, books,
books. where the hell are we suppose to find books?" he growls. "and it's five
AM already. We only have one hour left dammit."
"And we have to get ready to make pasta." I interrupt his rant. "the pasta can
suck my ass. I don't want that bomb exploding." Sans continues his rant. He
stops walking and looks angrily at the ground. "G-Guys we m-may have found the
s-solution." Alphys suddenly says. All of our heads turn to her. "W-Well what
if we just throw away every book on the terrain?" She stutters.
"yeah it's not like that's gonna take ages." Sans says. "Hey now she had a
plan! Stop fucking complaining and use those powers of yours to delete those
books or something!" Undyne growls. "yeah but maybe I don't want to. that's a
shitty idea and you know it!" Sans says and his eye flares blue. "Hey what the
fuck?" Undyne continues. "She had a good idea and you know it!" She says and
wraps her arm around Alphys. "well I don't care? It's going to take ages to get
rid of all the books." Sans protests. Fuck what should I do? We only have fifty
minutes left and the only idea we have is to get rid of all the books on the
terrain. "Guys stop fighting please." I say.
"Whose side are you on Alex?" Undyne says. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. "I'm
on Alphys' side." I say. The way Sans looks at me is indescribable. He has a
mix of anger and sadness(?) plastered on his face. "i see how it is." He says
and walks out of the caravan. What..? "Hey come back here!" Undyne shouts at
him, before he teleports away. "What the fuck." I mutter.
"W-Well we only have 45 minutes left. W-We better get going." Alphys says and
walks out of the camper. Undyne and I follow in silence. "We first have to make
sure that we remove all the books from stage and the field." I say. "We'll keep
most people save that way." I continue. They nod and get to work.
After forty minutes of hard work, we stand in silence. All the books found on
the stage or backstage were thrown away. None of them looked suspicious though.
"It's a little weird, isn't it?" I say. "None of the books looked
suspiciously." I continue. "W-Wait." Alphys says and stands still. "W-We have
m-manga r-right?" She says with a trembling voice. "A-And you two have your f-
fair share of books too.. Do you think..?" Shit no, no, no. "Fuck." I mutter
and begin running to the caravan.
I open the door and hear a faint beep. It's coming from Sans' joke book. I open
it slightly and see a timer with bright green letters. 00:00:10 seconds on the
clock. "GET OUT OF HERE!" I scream, grab Taco and run out of the caravan.
Undyne and Alphys look at me questioningly before running with me.
Boom. I hear and turn around. A sea of bright yellow and orange explosions come
from the campers. All the campers. "Jesus." I swear and hold Taco tightly. "I
swear if I ever see that bomber I'll kill them with my own hands." Undyne
growls.
"guys are you all right?" Sans' voice says and appears next to me. We all shoot
a glare to him. "If you didn't flee, we could have saved this all." Undyne
growls again. Sans looks at the burning mess that were our campers. "jesus." he
mutters. "Thanks for your commitment Sans." I say sarcastically. "Now
everything is gone." I say and look him straight in the eye. He attempts to
wrap his arms around me, but I hit them away. "Fuck you and your hugs." Okay I
might be going a little too far. "fine then." He says and teleports away.
Well I fucked up.
***** you did a great job of raisin me *****
Making pasta without Sans was weird. Everyone was still processing that we
didn't have a home to stay anymore. Undyne was throwing all of her anger in
cutting the tomatoes, resulting in those sticking to the walls and ceiling. For
me, what I regretted the most was yelling at Sans. I mean, he kind of deserved
it, but I shouldn't have yelled at him.
We eventually threw all the ingredients together and made pasta, not caring
about it that much. Even Papyrus' mind wasn't on the pasta tonight, and that
says something.
After the show, Mettaton and Alphys came in, using the back door of the
kitchen. "Darlings, we called my manager and he said that he would have a tour
bus arranged for us tonight." Mettaton announces and looks around. "Where's
Sans?" He asks and looks at me. I clear my throat. "Off." I simply say, not
wanting to talk about it anymore. "W-Well I c-can help clean up and then wait
for the bus." Alphys says and smiles at us in an understanding way.
Later at night, the bus arrives which results Undyne, Alphys, Mettaton, Papyrus
and me in clapping loudly. We thanked Mettaton's manager before taking the
keys. "I also brought five sleeping bags for the five of you." The man says and
smiles at us. "Thanks Dan." Mettaton smiles. "No problem. If there's something,
hit me up." He says and walks away.
Mettaton opens the doors of the tour bus (quite dramatically) and reveals the
inside. I guess the word 'pink' describes it the best. There were a pink carpet
and pink walls, with a kitchen and a big bathroom in it. There is a long, grey
couch and three (really comfortably) looking beds. It might look really stuffed
at first sight, but the designers made sure there was enough space to walk.
Looking up, I notice there is even hanging a small chandelier on the ceiling.
"Go get your sack of bones." Undyne says, ripping me from my thoughts. I nod
and walk outside. Where the hell do I even look? I decide to walk a bit on the
field and then yell his name. No response. "Sans?!" I try again and make my way
to the exploded campers. The firefighters had stopped the fire at last. I see
him sitting at the place our camper was supposed to be. "Sans?" I say and run
over to him. "what." Sans asks and stares at the ground. "I'm sorry okay? I
shouldn't have yelled at you." I try. He stay silent and doesn't move. Dammit.
"What can I say to convince you that I'm sorry?" I try again. "nah, I was
stupid. I was being stressed and being a suborn brat. i just didn't want you or
the others to die and the timeline to fuck up again." He says, stands up and
hugs me. He buries his head in the sweater I'm wearing. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry." He continuously says and sobs. "now it's all gone and it's my
fault."
"Hey don't blame yourself for this. We wouldn't have ever cleared the whole
terrain in forty minutes, even with your help. It's okay. We still got each
other and that's what counts." I smile. "Now look at me." I say. He does so and
I kiss the space between his eyes, above his nasal bone. "By the way I like
your hugs very much." I laugh. Sans laughs as well and gives me a quick kiss
before grabbing my hand. "Oh by the way, we have a gigantic tour bus now." I
announce and walk towards the bus, with Sans' hand in mine.
"it's.. pink." Sans says when he enters the bus. "Yeah I know. Looks comfy
right?" I say and get tackled by Undyne. "All right I'm tired, Alphie is too
and Mettaton and Papyrus got the bed, so we are going to bed." She announces
and throws a sleeping bag at me. "Oh by the way, you gotta share with Sans
because we don't have enough of these." She smirks and claps her hands, making
the lights switch off. "Well dress out and go to sleep." Undyne says. "in
what?" Sans smirks. "Right.. I suppose it's the perfect day to see each other
naked." She laughs and returns to the couch, where Alphys is already sleeping
in her sleeping bag.
Sans walks over to the couch (which looks less comfortable than Undyne's) and
lays the sleeping bag on there. He takes off his hoodie and shirt, exposing his
ribs. I feel that I'm blushing, but I just stare. Sans turns around and smirks
at me. "take a picture, it lasts longer." He says and gets in the sleeping bag.
"Well if I was a photographer, I would picture us together." I wink and take
off my bra and pants, making it as comfortable as it gets. I look at Sans, who
is intensely staring at me. "Take a picture, it lasts longer." I say and step
over him, to get in the sleeping bag as well. "maybe I already did." Sans
winks. "You didn't." I say and turn to him. "that's right, i didn't." He smirks
and kisses me on the lips. I smile as he lays his arms around my waste.
I lay mine on his hips, and feel something cardboard-y in his pocket. I make a
soft hum and quickly slide my hand in his pocket. He tenses up. "uhm.." He says
while I'm examining it. "Why do you have raisins in your pocket?" I snicker.
"well this was actually meant for after when the imaginary library didn't
explode, but do you like raisins?" He asks. "I suppose, yeah?" I say and laugh.
"then how about a date?" Sans asks and wiggles his eyebrows. "I'd like that."
"that's nice." He says and snuggles his head in between the space of my neck
and shoulders. Eventually we both fall asleep, both with smiles on our faces.
***** dad *****
I woke up with my arms wrapped around the skeleton who was laying in front of
me. Sans was still asleep and had his arms tightly wrapped around my waist. I
open my eyes and smile at his sleeping face. I grab Sans' phone, which had been
laying next to him and see it's 1:32 PM already. "Sans?" I whisper and pinch
his cheek. He grumbles and buries his skull into my shoulder. "Sans get up I
can't move." I whisper again and tap on his skull with my nail. "stop.. feels
weird. five more minutes." He says in a raspy tone and removes my hand from his
skull by grabbing it and holding it tightly. Since I don't really feel like
waiting five minutes, evil plans begin to form in my head.
I smirk and get closer to Sans's collarbone and lick it really slowly. With my
hand, I slowly rub his rib. I feel him shudder, groan and open his eyes and
remove his hands. "You awake now?" I smirk and zip open the sleeping bag.
"nope. I'm still sleeping." He says and closes his eye sockets again. I sigh as
he grabs my waist and just give in to the extra hours of sleep.
"NYEH SANS AND ALEX YOU HAVE SLEPT FOR TWELVE HOURS ALREADY!? GET UP!"
Obviously Papyrus shouts at us after sleeping in. I open my eyes and get
greeted by Papyrus, arms crossed and his usual expression on his face. "Morning
Paps." I say and get out of the sleeping bag. "SANS YOU TOO!" Papyrus groans as
I am putting on some pants. "I'm up already jeez." Sans groans and turns. "NO,
NO, NO! THERE IS SOMEONE FOR YOU AT THE DOOR!" Papyrus shouts and lifts Sans
out of the comfortable pile of cloth. "who is it?" Sans asks as he quickly puts
on a shirt and a sweater. "IT'S BARUS? I DON'T KNOW, I FORGOT HIS NAME."
I look anxiously at the door, then at Papyrus. "Bacchus?" I suggest. Papyrus
turns around with a smile. "YES THAT IS THE NAME. NOW GO OUTSIDE YOU TWO!" He
continues and pushes us outside the door.
The old man with short, brown, curly hair and a beard was sitting with his head
between his knees when we came outside. "Hey are you all right?" I say and sit
next to him. Wait i should look out. This dude almost choked me to death. "I'm
sorry." He says with a trembling voice. "I.. I hear voices y-you see." He
continues. I look at Sans with a questioning expression and turn back to the
man. "Voices?" I question. Sans sits next to me and observes the man.
"One voice." Bacchus says and looks at me. His face is stained with tears and
he has red and puffy eyes from crying. "A month ago, a m-man.. no, rather...
shadow? Approached me in my sleep." Bacchus starts. "It promised me life.. for
my soul?" He says. Sans's mouth drops. "I accepted the offer.. I have lung
cancer you see? I have two kids and a loving wife. I can't let them behind when
I die. My one kid is three.. and the o-other.. is seven." Bacchus says before
crying. I pat him on his back. "This shadow takes over my body sometimes.. I
don't know what is happening to me. That is why I came here." He explains.
"what does the shadow look like?" Sans questions. I look at him with a 'what-
the-fuck-why-would-you-say-this-right-now-face' and shake my head. "It's.. b-
black w-with a skull sha-ped h-h-head. The e-eyes are p-pretty misformed." He
says and sobs. "I dont know w-what is happening to me. C-Can you t-two help
me?" Bacchus asks and looks at me hopefully while tears are streaming down his
face.
"I think we can." I say. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." He says gratefully
and shakes my hand before walking away again. "What does the shadow look like?
Really Sans?" I say and walk inside again. "it's gaster." He says and sits on
the couch. "Who?"
"gaster. he's back."
***** have u noticed i dont really care about chapter titles anymore *****
Mettaton woke up in Alex' body and smirked. Finally, he would be in a human
body. He sat up and looked at his robotic body. Alex seemed to be waking up as
well. "YOU ARE AWAKE METTATON!" Papyrus says excitedly and picks him up. "YOU
ARE STILL GREAT EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE IN ANOTHER BODY." He compliments him.
"Thank you Papy dear~" Mettaton says and trails his index-finger down his chin.
Alex clears her throat, and looks at them with crossed arms. Mettaton giggles,
and Papyrus blushes orange. "Please don't do that in my body, thanks." Alex
says and looks at her body. "Jesus." She says and stands up. Mettaton stands up
as well and strikes a pose. Rusty Mettaton thinks and smirks to himself.
"Darling, just follow my lead." Mettaton says and strikes a pose again. Alex
follows and strikes the same pose. Papyrus does too. This repeats itself a
couple of times and then, Mettaton claps his hands.
"Okay, we have half an hour left, and we still have to give you a microphone.
You know how to use a microphone right?" Mettaton says and walks towards the
stage. "Of course! Relax, what can go wrong?" Alex says and laughs to herself.
Not a really convincing laugh that is.
After a while, Mettaton goes to the cafeteria to pull some pranks. You have to
make fun while being in another body right? He sees Sans sitting in one of the
chairs and smirks to himself. "sup A-Slice." Sans greets him. "Heya Sansy."
Mettaton tries to casually greet him. "sansy?" He laughs. Mettaton goes to sit
in his lap, flustering Sans quite a bit. "what did the toaster want?" Sans
asks. The toaster? Oh you are going to get it Sans. What goes around, comes
around right? "I dunno.. Toaster stuff?" Mettaton says, acting as much as Alex
as possible. Sans hums. Mettaton smirks and leans forward a bit. He places his
arms on his shoulders and begins to grind on his lap. "A-Alex?" Sans says,
flushing blue. Mettaton smirks devishly and continues. "We are l-literally in a
public p-p-place." He stutters. "I don't care." Mettaton speaks and suddenly
jumps off Sans, and strikes a pose, by throwing his leg in the air.
Unfortunately he slips and falls on his butt. Mettaton whimpers. "okay what is
going on?" Sans asks.
Papyrus enters and looks at Mettaton. "METTATON, ARE YOU HURT?" He shouts, runs
towards him and picks him up. "wait, mettaton?" Sans asked confusedly. "Payback
for calling me a toaster darling~" Mettaton laughs and looks outside the
window. "That.. That isn't how my show is supposed to go..?" He says to
himself. Papyrus carries him towards the window. Mettaton sees his body sitting
on the edge of the stage, interviewing some teenager. "seems like Alex is
improvising. don't worry, she's a smartass. it will be okay." Sans reassures
Mettaton and pats his back.
"I WILL BE DOING A MEET AND GREET IN THE BREAK!" She announces. "what." Sans
says. "What is she doing.." Mettaton says. "I AM SURE ALEX WILL DO GREAT!"
"yeah, me too bro." Sans smiles.
***** A lot of selfies and signing on foreheads basically *****
Chapter Notes
     So little backstory on this chapter, some of you know that i
     originally posted this on wattpad. I had just reached 10K views and
     this was like the 10K special for it. I picked out names from the
     readers that were reading my story from the beginning when started
     uploading. so yeah that, hope you enjoy this bonus chapter
"ALEX I AM IN THE NEED OF HELP!" Papyrus shouted while spaghetti making. I look
up from my tomatoes to see a papyrus with a very worried face in front of me.
"What's up?" I say casually and continue cutting tomatoes. "IT'S METTATON! HE
IS SICK AND SAYS HE CAN'T PERFORM!" He says and picks me up. Wait fuck what.
Papyrus picks me up and holds me under his arm before running out of the
kitchen. When we reach the pink tour bus, Mettaton is laying on a bed with an
ice-pack on his face. "Oh darling you are here." He smiles. Papyrus drops me on
the bed gently and pats my head. "I have something to ask of you darling.." He
says and dramatically coughs. "I am sick. Alphys made this potion, which allows
us to switch bodies." Mettaton coughs again. Oh hell no. "Can you perform my
show?" He asks.
Uhm.. what. "Ehr.." I mumble. "I don't know I think I guess I could?" I say.
Okay no I regret this why did I do this. "DARLING THAT IS MAGNIFICENT!" He says
and jumps up. "ALPHYS DARLING?~" He shouts. Okay so he isn't that sick at all..
"Y-Yes Mettaton?" Alphys stutters and comes running into the bedroom. "Alex is
willing to take over this night's show.. Can you please fetch that potion of
yours?" Mettaton says and blinks with his eyes a few times. "O-Of course
Mettaton." She says and walks towards her little stash of things that had been
saved from the explosion.
So basically, that is how I became a robot for one night. I blink my eyes and
look at my body in the mirror. "Jesus." I say and turn around. "Darling, try
posing?" Mettaton says, being in my body. He actually strikes a pose which
allows the leg from my body to go all the way up to my face, shaping it in a
vertical line with my other leg. Okay I didn't know that was possible.
I strike the pose as well, earning an applause from both Papyrus and Mettaton.
I try some other poses, which include showing off my legs some more. Mettaton
anxiously looks at my phone to check the time and clears his throat. "We have
less than half an hour. Remember, if you don't remember the text, just make up
something or improvise." He says and grabs my hand. "Isn't that literally the
same thing?" I laugh. Mettaton laughs nervously and walks me towards the stage.
"You have to get a microphone. You know how to speak in a microphone right?" He
asks and glanced at me with a worried face. "Yeah no problem. I got this."
I don't got this. I walk on stage, very dramatically, and get greeted by
hundreds of fans. They are all yelling and screaming and fangirling. "HELLO
DARLINGS~" I say into the microphone and laugh. Okay, I have heard this concert
over and over. I have learned all the songs by heart because of Jess. What can
go wrong.
Everything basically. Half an hour in, I'm kind of trembling in fear while
singing a happy song. Man up Alex, you are Mettaton, an overdramatic calculator
with amazing legs. "HOW ARE YOU ALL ENJOYING YOURSELVES?" I shout, and get
comforted by tons of people screaming. "Spots on me please." I say to the
people working backstage. They look confusedly at me and turn off the lights,
followed by a single white spot on me. I walk towards the edge of the stage and
go sit down. I'm giving them something special tonight. Okay no that sounded
wrong scratch that. I laugh to myself and then hold the microphone to my face.
"Enough about me already. How about you?" I say and take a deep breath. "All
the spots are always on me. How about being them on you tonight." I say and
look at the backstage guys again. "Can I get a spotlight next to me please?" I
ask politely.
A guy from the audio team comes walking to me with a spotlight, connects them
to the stage and turns it on. I grab the spotlight and shine it on a teenager.
"You for example. Would you mind to come forward?" I smile. I'm really not
behaving like Mettaton. Oh well, fuck it. The teenager comes forward and I help
them to sit on the edge of the stage. "What's your name?" I ask and hand a
microphone to them. "I-I'm Maia." They say and sob. "Oh my god I can't believe
this I just love you so much okay." They laugh trough their sobs and hug me. I
pat them on the back.
After the teenager had left the stage, I stood up again and nodded to backstage
guys. "SO WE HAVE A HALF OF AN HOUR LEFT BEFORE THE BREAK! WHO IS READY TO
SING?" I say and laugh quite charmingly. Everyone applauds. I end up singing a
few songs that I actually remembered and getting rid of my light stage fright.
That rhymes. "Did you know that I'm doing a meet and greet in the break?" I say
between my songs. "It's in the cafeteria. You can have delicious spaghetti
there cooked by a great team." I smile. Everyone cheers in joy.
I announce the break and rush towards the cafeteria. Okay I haven't planned
this out at all. I snicker to myself before sitting in a booth. I see Sans
standing in the kitchen. "Oh Sansy darling~!" I say and laugh a bit to myself.
"sup Alex." He says and comes to sit next to me. "Hey how did you know it's
me?" I say. "oh well mettaton tried to do a pose in your body. it was really
funny." He snickers. "By the way, you should get some spaghetti. Like, a lot. I
plan on having a few people coming over." I say. Immediately, I feel the ground
trembling and the door opens. A huge crowd of people runs in and screams when
they see me. I awkwardly wave, already regretting that I have chosen to sit in
a corner. "what the fuck." Sans says and disappears.
"Hello Darlings!" I shout. "Everyone, form a nice row please." I say. Everyone
does as told. Holy fuck I feel powerful. The first person comes up to me and
asks to sign their T-Shirt. "Hey! How are you? What's your name darling?" I ask
and smile as I sign their T-Shirt with 'MTT' written poorly on it. "I-I'm
Rose." She says and smiles. "I appreciate you very much. You make my days
better." She smiles. I stand up to give her a hug. "Thank you darling." I say.
"I recommend the pasta by the way." I laugh. She nods and gets some pasta.
The next person comes to greet me and gives me a hug immediately. "Hey! What's
your name?" I ask. "May I just say that you look absolutely fabulous?" I wink.
Wait no I have Papyrus. Or Mettaton has. This is complicated. "I'm Sorcha."
They say. "You look fantastic too MTT!" They say and wink. I take a selfie with
them and they get pasta too.
I sit down on the table and greet a group of three, vlogging. "Say hello to
OurTube Mettaton!" They say and wave into the camera. I wave and smile. "Hello
OurTube!" I laugh. "What could your names be?" I say and look at them. "I'm
Kadkins, the dork over there is Mal, and next to them is Peach." They say. I
laugh. "Do you guys want a selfie?" I offer. Holy shit I just could be a top
idol. I'm actually very much enjoying this. They accept and take out their
phones, while Mal holds the camera. They leave too and the next one comes in.
"Hi Mettaton!" They say and give me a hug. "I'm Alex and I love you." They
smile. Same name. "It's so good meeting you!" I say and smile. "Do you want
something signed or a selfie? Or both?" I offer again. They nod and point to
their forehead. I laugh and take the sharpie and write MTT on their forehead.
There are questionable people in this world and my name-bud is one of them. I
take a selfie with them and they leave for pasta.
A big group of eight people comes forward and smiles at me. "Hello Darlings!" I
say and look at them. "What are your names?" I ask. "I'm Stephie." "I'm
Pauleene." "Lexie is the name." "Madison and Mettaton, Perfect match!" "Sam!
Ends with the Letter M!" "I'm Fox, I'm sorry for Sam and Madison." "An I'm
Sarah." They introduce themselves. I laugh again and give them each a hug. "Can
we take a selfie?" Pauleene asks and reaches for their phone. "Yeah sure." I
accept. Madison and Sam strike a dramatic position, so do I. Stephie makes a
peace sign with their fingers and Pauleene and Lexie stand there like they are
proposing to me. Finally, Sarah has some great double-chin action. They leave
for pasta as well. Oh Papyrus will be so happy with me. What will Mettaton
think of this though?
"Hello darlings! What are your names?" I say as a group of six is walking
towards me. They introduce themselves. "I'm Aaliyah!" One says and strikes a
heroic pose. "Just call me Neko." One says. They actually have cat ears, wow.
"I'm Cyndle." One says and shakes my hand while blushing a bit. I smile kindly
at them. "Ivy is the name." One says and smile. "Lili." Another one says.
"Harry potter." I mumble and smile. Lili's face seems to light up at that. "You
are a potterhead?" Someone says. "Oh I'm Chloe by the way." They wave. "Yup! I
simply adore the series!" I say and smile. After a long chat about the books,
they leave.
The final group of four shuffles forward. "Hey guys!" I say. Don't let Alex
slip out. "How are you today?" I ask. "I'm fine! And you are fine too!" Someone
says. I laugh. "Samantha." They say and wink. "Quite the charmer I see." I say
and wink back. I'm enjoying this so much shit. "I'm Sapphire!" One says. "No
ice puns for Sapphire." Someone says. I laugh. "What the hail." I say trough
laughing. Everyone is quiet and starts howling with laughter. "That was a good
one! I'm Jilio by the way." I say and shake hands with the pun making human.
The last one for the meet and greet hands me a drawing. "I made this for you. I
didn't actually think i could get the chance to.. but I did it I guess?" They
say. "I'm Luna by the way." They say as I'm unfolding the drawing. It's a
drawing of Mettaton on stage somewhere. "I love it so much! I love your art
style!" I say and hug them. "What art style?" They joke. "You are an amazing
drawer. Keep up the good work hun." I say. "Haha yes I wish." They say. I kneel
and look at them in all seriousness. "Stop wishing and start doing. Your art is
amazing and you should draw." I say.
Everyone has returned to the stage again and screams when I come walking up the
stage. "WHO IS READY FOR THE NEXT PART?" I yell into the microphone.
Let's do this.
End Notes
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